AITAH for cutting off husband’s sister after she married a convicted r*?

A Redditor recently shared their frustration over a recurring issue with their sister-in-law, who consistently brings food to family dinners despite being asked not to.

The user explained that these dinners are carefully planned, particularly due to family allergies, and a “no outside food” rule helps ensure everyone can enjoy the meal worry-free.

However, the sister-in-law keeps ignoring this request, leading to a heated argument when the Redditor eventually disposed of her cornbread gift. Read the full story below to see how it all unfolded and if you think the reaction was justified.

‘ AITAH for cutting off husband’s sister after she married a convicted r*?’

I am married for over a decade and have two daughters. I never had any issue with in laws before and got along more than fine. His sister started dating this guy and later found out about his past. He was involved in a r* and tried as a adult.

He managed to manipulate her into trusting him that he is changed. I do not want him anywhere near my family or even her because the way she is cosying up to him. I told her not to come to our house or contact me or my daughters.

Now our family thinks I am being too bitchy about the situation and that he deserves a second chance because he was minor at the time and served his punishment. I do not care whether he faced consequences or not. All I want is not to be related to someone like that. Am I wrong to cut her off?

See what others had to share with OP:

MyChoiceNotYours −  NTA you have a duty to protect your children. For him to be tried as an adult it had to have been bad. Rapists shouldn’t get second chances because their victims sure don’t.

star_b_nettor −  NTA – He may deserve a second chance (and that sentence was hard for me to type as a survivor of that violation as a teenager). That doesn’t mean you need to risk your children’s safety for him to receive that second chance.

That doesn’t mean you have to be the one who grants him that second chance by allowing him around while the kids are otherwise occupied. Tried and convicted with 3 others does not lead me to believe he managed to just p**s off parents and Romeo and Juliet laws weren’t a thing in his area.

It leads me to believe it was an intentional harm. Granted, I have my own bias here, so I may not be being “fair”. But no, you do not have to accept him in to your life. And you do not have to allow your kids around him, or around anyone who supports him. You get to choose safety and peace of mind for your kids and yourself.

ArmadilloDays −  NTA – Until or unless you get to read the actual facts of the case, assume whatever he’s said he did is SEVERELY minimized.

maireadbhynes −  Calling you bitchy? I’d own that so hard. “Yes I am THE biggest b**ch you will ever meet when it comes to the safety of my kids. I am THE head b**ch in charge of my family!” It is so worth taking this battle with your husband’s family.

Can you imagine ever having to tell your daughter “I’m so sorry you were raped by a known rapist but daddy’s family said I was a b**ch if I didn’t let them have you at their party and I didn’t want to go because of the rapist being there, but daddy has a right to you visiting his family.”

Like a previous poster said, get the facts, read the court files and newspaper articles. Be armed. You need to have solid facts to fight the battle ahead. Someone will try to take your daughter’s to prove he isn’t dangerous to the girls any more. Every guard needs to be up.

MilfyMacca −  I was gang raped as a teenager (see previous posts). I am begging you to keep your kids away from this ‘man’. I still live with the consequences of what was done to me 31 years ago. If your husband cannot see this is dangerous then that’s a him problem.

Just let him know that he will never be allowed to take his Daughters to his sisters house again. Ever. Or anywhere where she or her husband will be. I don’t care if it costs you your marriage. Your children come first. Harsh? Probably. Again… i do not care.

pankiepd −  Rape isn’t kids being kids… high rate of reoffending

Dont-Blame-Me333 −  NTA it’s your job as a parent to protect your kids & if SIL has fallen for his sob story, then she too is a threat to your daughters. Add in any other relative as needed.

How many weakass women have enabled abusers only to discover those close to them are now being abused? Bring on your momma bear & keep your daughters at a distance. For that crime, convicted once (who knows how many went unreported) is enough to stain for life.

throwaway-rayray −  NTA – he can have a second chance… with someone other than you and your children. Edit for the bleeding hearts in the comments: he’s not being ostracised, clearly. He has a loving girlfriend. He just doesn’t have her entire family as a packaged deal.

Regular_Finance_ −  You’re not wrong to protect your family, especially with something this serious. People can debate second chances, but ultimately, it’s your call on who you feel comfortable having around your kids.

Setting a boundary for your family’s peace of mind doesn’t make you the bad guy. Everyone’s idea of safety and trust is different, and yours is valid—especially as a parent. Stand by what feels right for you and your girls.

chuckinhoutex −  Is he not on a s** offenders registry? Are there no legal restrictions on him at all? That would be highly u usual to me.

Do you think the Redditor’s response to her sister-in-law’s persistence was appropriate, or was it too harsh? Should the sister-in-law have respected the allergy concerns, or was she just trying to be thoughtful? Share your thoughts and discuss below!