AITA for refusing to loan my sister money for a divorce lawyer after she cheated on her husband?
A Reddit user shares a family conflict after refusing to lend money to their sister for a divorce lawyer, following her confession of infidelity. The sister feels abandoned in her time of need, while the Redditor believes her choices have consequences and can’t support her actions.
With family pressuring them to help, the user wonders if they’re being too harsh. Read the story below and see what you think.
‘ AITA for refusing to loan my sister money for a divorce lawyer after she cheated on her husband?’
My sister (36F) has been married to her husband (38M) for 12 years. They have three kids together and, up until recently, I thought they had a pretty solid marriage. But about two months ago, she confided in me that she’s been having an affair with her boss.
She claimed it started because her husband “doesn’t pay attention to her,” but honestly, I think it’s just excuses. Well, her husband found out last week. He’s devastated and wants a divorce, which has put her in a bad financial situation.
She’s now asking me (32M) for a loan to help cover the cost of a divorce lawyer and some of her living expenses. I refused. I told her that I can’t support what she did and that her actions have consequences.
She got furious, called me judgmental, and said I’m abandoning her when she needs me most. Our parents think I’m being too harsh and should “help family no matter what.” AITA for refusing to give her the money?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
PanicTight6411 − If your parents think you’re being too harsh, and that family helps no matter what, then they can step up and help her fix her mistakes. “Family helps family” yea, right. who was helping your brother in law? Your sister has showed that she’ll betray family, for her own pleasure.
RevolutionaryDiet686 − NTA Tell her to ask for a loan from her boss.
Open_Equal_1515 − NTA. i mean , let’s break this down.. she didn’t accidentally bump into an affair — she fully signed up for that plot twist herself. now she’s looking at you like her personal “get out of consequences free” card ? sounds like she’s got commitment issues…
just not to other people’s money , apparently. and your parents think you’re being harsh ? right , because nothing says “supportive family” like bankrolling a cheating scandal ! you’re just politely reminding her that actions have , you know , those things called consequences !!
Mysterious-Stock-948 − Did she accidentally trip and land on her boss’ d**k? No? Then, she can figure her mess out herself.. NTA.
Dapper_Internet_8576 − Nta and you should be judgemental because your sis is a piece of s**t
AwaySecret6609 − NTA – Your sister knew what she was doing and the potential consequences. You are on the side of your nieces and nephews.
ZippyKitty − NTA and lay it on thick to the parents that you can’t believe they support cheating and then hit them with the “Guess it makes sense you support cheating after that one time…” just to f**k with them and make them question each other.
queeniethorn − Your refusal doesn’t mean you don’t care about her rather, it’s a stance on accountability. Supporting her financially could feel like you’re condoning her choices, which many people would find hard to do, especially when those choices have hurt someone else and potentially affected her children.
WhereRweGoingnow − Attorney fees for a divorce that includes three children will be astronomical. Sister should have thought about that when she was on her back. Your parents can support her with their retirement savings. They will learn there is no pay back because it’s family. Hell NO. NTA
Educational_Katze − She called you judgmental? Hell yes you are, as you should be. Her actions are to be judged lol NTA
Was the Redditor right to stand firm on their principles, or should family always lend a hand despite mistakes? How would you balance family loyalty with personal beliefs in this situation? Share your thoughts below!
