AITAH for telling my pregnant 19 year old daughter she needs to move out asap?

A parent grapples with a difficult decision after their 19-year-old daughter, who is pregnant and set on keeping the baby, expects support that they feel unprepared to give. The daughter’s boyfriend isn’t exactly winning over her mom, either, as he’s made plans that include moving in and relying on her. Here’s the full story.

‘ AITAH for telling my pregnant 19 year old daughter she needs to move out asap?’

My daughter Rose 19 was always a smart girl. She did well in school, and got a full ride to a great school that is locally. She’s been living with me and going to school, and is doing well in school. She got this new boyfriend a few months ago, who I don’t like. I can smell the b**lshit.

He constantly lets her down but covers it up with a big smile and grand promises. Despite my warnings, they’re still dating, and now she’s pregnant. I offered to pay for the a**rtion and take a few days off work to take her and help her recover. She said no.

She’s going to marry her boyfriend and they’ll be one big happy family. He wants to move into my house, and she’ll drop out of school while he works to support them. He’s a bartender who doesn’t go to college. I laughed at this idea, which made her mad.

She told me that since he can’t move in I’ll need to step up and help with the baby more. Y’all, she has always been a very sensible child, I don’t know where this all has came from. I flat out told her that if she thinks she’s grown enough to have and raise a child and get married then she needs to move out soon and manage being an adult with the child’s father.

I raised the one child I wanted. I do not want any more children living in my home. I told her I’d pay for diapers here and there and I’d still visit her, but this baby is 0% my responsibility. If she chooses adoption, which I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t, I’d be willing to help her navigate that.

She won’t talk to me. My husband (her stepdad) is staying out of this but thinks I could help more. I told him he’s welcome to go over and babysit for her and that shut him up lol.. AITAH?

See what others had to share with OP:

TroubleSG −  I have a friend who was in the same situation with her daughter about 16 years ago. They let her stay but told her it was the one and only time and set all sorts of parameters. Now, 16 years later, that same daughter and her (now) 5 kids still live with them.

They have put them out several times to try and make it on their own but it breaks their hearts to see the kids not be clean or be fed right. The kids always beg to come back. It is an awful situation.

Prize-Bumblebee-2192 −  NTA. If she’s doing grown up things and making grow up decisions she needs to learn how to adult. She wants live-in childcare and complete financial support from you for her child AND HUSBAND. They want a free ride with no responsibility to themselves or their child. They’ll never move out if you allow this.

bythebrook88 −  He wants to move into my house. My suspicious mind wonders if this is the whole point of the pregnancy, to improve his living standards? I wonder where he is currently living – in a share home or with his parents?

Ok-Fishing-6604 −  Let her know how much car insurance is going to be if she’s not under your policy. That number alone was enough to make my son stay in our home and save up his money before he moved out.

mmmmpisghetti −  NTA. You know what happens when you financially support your son or daughter when they have a baby they can’t afford? They have another. Ask me how I know.

ykmfpd_iykyk −  NTA. Just tell her. This was your choice not mine. You can have an a**rtion, I’ll support that, you can leave him, I’ll support that, you can move out and continue with this path you chose and I will support you. But I refuse to “step up” and help because you made a poor decision.

It’s not my responsibility to financially support you, your child, and your l**er boyfriend. I also do not NEED to do anything in this situation including step up and help with your baby more. I have raised you as it is my responsibility to do so. But your grown now, looks like it’s your turn. Wow the entitlement, all you have to say is no thank you, frankly.

CarpeCyprinidae −  NTA. You provided a home to raise your child in; it was never offered that you would raise grandchildren as well as a result of your childs poor decision-making. It is her responsibility to navigate this and make decisions compatible with her ability to support herself.

apocalypse_ada −  NTA. Your daughter has made her own choices and she doesn’t get to dictate yours.

Ordinaryflyaway −  NTA. He ( the boyfriend) thought he had the perfect freebie life lined up and you took a huge 💩 on it. She’s gotta lay in that bed now.

is76 −  Wow – oh to be 19 with grand plans about how everyone around her must step up. She wants to live at your house and then you will step up. Deary me. Wake up call incoming.