AITAH for waiting out my prenup before divorcing my cheating wife?
One Redditor shared a story about waiting out the terms of his prenuptial agreement before divorcing his unfaithful wife. After learning that his wife had been cheating with her high school boyfriend for most of their marriage, the user decided to wait until their tenth anniversary to file for divorce,
knowing that after that point, the prenup would allow for an even split of their assets. Despite feeling blindsided by his decision, his wife remains unaware of the full extent of the situation. Read on to learn more.
‘ AITAH for waiting out my prenup before divorcing my cheating wife?’
My wife settled for me. I didn’t know it when I married her but I do now. She was in love with her high school boyfriend that her parents hated. She was with him all through university. Her parents finally told her that they would cut her off financially if she stayed with him. We met soon afterwards and I fell in love.
She did not. Once again, this was a surprise to me. We had a prenup that her parents insisted on. I was in it for the long haul so I had no problem with it. I basically got nothing if we divorced before we were married ten years. After that it was an even split as long as I was not the cause.
She was banging her old boyfriend our entire marriage. I found out after we were married for eight years. I was angry and depressed. I had spent eight years supporting her and her career. She has a much better paying job than I do. It is high profile and she deals with our government a lot.
I decided that I could handle two years of infidelity. I had already done eight unknowingly. I filed for divorce on the day after our tenth anniversary. I let her parents pay for our vacation. I didn’t do anything dirty like send the evidence I had to her parents. I just had a lawyer draft claim for divorce.
Included was the evidence that the prenup had lapsed and our holdings were to be split. She said that I blindsided her after our holiday away. She doesn’t understand why I would do it. I said that I just don’t think we are compatible any more.
I am prepared to go nuclear if I have to. But I don’t want our kids, yes they are mine I checked, knowing why. I am keeping the evidence I have on her boyfriend in my pocket.
I can blow up his marriage and make her parents pissed at her if I absolutely must. I just prefer to end things with me in a decent financial position to take care of the kids.. Am I the a**hole for what I did?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
bassmasta1990 − Even if you don’t want to go nuclear which I understand. I would still inform her that you know and have the evidence of her infidelity. She definitely seems like the type of person who would spin the narrative to make you look bad and her knowing you have this will make that less likely to happen.
Choice-Intention-926 − She’s going to tarnish your reputation and say you married her for money. You will look bad not only to your kids but to your friends and family too. Tell the truth about her cheating being the reason for the end of your marriage.
You don’t have to tell anyone when you found out, just tell them that you found out. Deny her the moral high ground. Because at the end of the day it’s her who married you for money.
FinalConsequence70 − NTA, but tell her why, tell her you have proof, and tell her you are willing to not tarnish her reputation with proof of her cheating as long as she keeps it civil and allows the divorce to go smoothly. Otherwise you run the risk of her blaming everything on you to your family, friends, kids, etc. DON’T LET HER MAKE YOU THE BAD GUY IN THIS SITUATION.
Popular_Error3691 − Nta but she should be shown who she is. She’s gonna make you the guilty one. Tell everyone now before she destroys you more.
ieya404 − INFO: “She doesn’t understand why I would do it. I said that I just don’t think we are compatible any more.” – why didn’t you just tell her that you’d discovered she was cheating, that you had evidence, did not see any reason for reconciliation, but that in the interests of your children wanted to keep things as amicable as possible? I don’t see why you wouldn’t want her to understand that it’s entirely her actions which have led to this.
BeardManMichael − NTA but you made a poor choice. It wasn’t smart to be passive about the divorce filing. You should have made her out to be the villain because that’s what she is in this scenario.
LeAdmin − Timing the divorce exactly one day after 10 years may be looked down upon in court. You probably should have held out just a few months longer to not be so obvious.
As is, it is pretty clear to anyone looking that you decided on divorcing earlier and delayed it because of the prenup. A judge may factor this into their decisions on splitting assets regardless of the terms of the prenup.
Sensitive-Ad-5406 − She said that I blindsided her “I felt blindsided discovering you’ve been spreading wide for Douchebag. I’m not complaining, I just want what’s rightfully mine. You were never that. Either amicable divorce or evidence sent to everyone. Your choice”. NTA I would go scorched earth
Many_Ad_7138 − You need to share every little bit of evidence you have with your attorney, at the least. Let them decide what to do with it.
[Reddit User] − I came across a similar post a while ago 😐 is it deja vu?
Was the Redditor right to wait for the prenup to expire before filing for divorce, or was his approach too calculated and revenge-driven? How would you handle a similar situation, balancing the emotional and financial aspects? Share your thoughts below!
