Update: AITA for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died?
First, please read my oringal post: https://aita.pics/mRJkB
‘Â update: aita for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died?’
Hello all and thank you, I just wanted to start of with I called my Mil Louise, after making the post I thought that I needed to tell her about baby because just like some of you said, she is overjoyed about the news.
She didn’t answer my call but instead drove straight over to my house, I honestly didnt know what to say to her but we just hugged and cried all night, I didnt have the best delivery about how I am pregnant probably due to all the crying but she just light up and was so happy.
Its the first time ive seen her be this happy in all the time ive known her so at least I have some support, my Fil came over when he finished work after Mil told him he needed to come to my house and he was too overjoyed about becoming a pop.
Louise offered to have the baby and I move in and I agreed, she said that I can sleep in my husbands old room which was a little bittersweet, when I told her what was going on with Leigh, Liam and Barry.
She was furious and told me not to worry about it because they { Mil & Fil \] have my back after a lot of even more crying Fil told me that my husband would be so happy to have this baby grow up on a farm like my husband did overall our conversations last night was a something I needed.
Now im just going to answer some comments:
1: No this isn’t fake and if you choose top believe that then that’s fine but don’t be dragging my husband when you don’t even know him. Liam dint kill my husband, it was a car accident and my husband died on impact nothing crazy went on its just awful but is as simply as that.
2: Leigh was my friend for a long time she was genuinely there for me when I went NC with my parents and I thought she was a decent friend, now knowing the truth there is many things I can think of that she did that are red flags, personally I think I ignored them because I have never been close to anyone like that other than my husband.
3: Liam is a l**er, And from my chat with Barry I learnt that he’s always had feelings for me and he’s never given up because apparently he’s my type? he isn’t and never will be.
4: yes I ordered a drink I didn’t think I needed to disclose that I ordered a lemonade? it was simply a soda nothing wild I know im pregnant and id never do anything silly.
5: I’m not magically pregnant, my husband and i both wanted children young and were trying for about a year, we just didn’t disclose that we were trying because my husband and I think its weird telling people oh were having s** an extra amount, I don’t know but my husband and I are very private people and kept a lot of it that way.
And as for the trio I’ve blocked them, none of my family are reaching out because they simply don’t know me anymore, the only friends who are reaching out are mutuals of either Leigh, Barry and one of Liams other friends, I was confused on if I wad an a**hole because I just left Liam standing there and yelled at Leigh I was so upset I was confused on the entire thing.
But thank you all and I will update on what happens because I know Liam will not give up until he’s in jail I seriously hope is doesn’t come to that but the fact he drove past my house twice is uneasy so im hopeful the move to husbands parents farm will have my baby and myself on a better path.
Check out how the community responded:
RanaEire − Wish you and your baby all the best..
Gemethyst − Report him for stalking and obtain a restraining order. Accept your in laws help and support for now but be careful about it as you move forward. You are young to say “never” about another partner.
Keep an eye and allow them to be grandparents. Not surrogate “parents”. Be cautious about your boundaries longer term. But for now, embrace their love and support.. And d**p your “friends”.
Decent_Bandicoot122 − First, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. So glad MIL and FIL came through for you. Keep the menagerie of freaks blocked. Goos luck!!
Negative_Lie_1823 − So couple of things.. 1000000099% NTA (obvs). I’m so sorry for your loss honey. It is not anything I’d wish on my worst enemy.
Speaking of enemies, f*** the “trio” . My goodness to have the audacity and that level of self confidence is staggering. IMHO those 3 are getting off light. Karma has a way of coming around to bite ppl in the b**t.
Lastly , everyone grieves differently and at different rates. There is no one size fits all hand book. Theres a book that gets recommended a lot for a sudden loss. I’ll try to find it for you. Also I am so freaking proud of you OP. To heck with those losers.
Quiet-Shoulder_ − I’m so glad to hear you’ve got such strong support from your in-laws. Louise and your FIL sound like genuine rocks in a tough time, and moving to the farm sounds like the perfect choice. It’s so comforting to know you and your baby will be surrounded by people who love and value you.
As for Leigh, Liam, and Barry…wow. Some people just have zero awareness or respect. You went through one of the hardest losses a person can face, and the fact that they thought setting you up on a date was somehow helpful? Beyond words. Blocking them sounds like the absolute best decision—they showed you who they are, and you don’t need that energy in your life.
I hope you’re able to find some peace and safety on the farm with your MIL and FIL. You and your baby deserve that. Sending you all the good vibes as you move forward on this new path!
Still_Actuator_8316 − Im happy for you that the thoughts I commented on on your last post about your MIL and FIL being there for you came true. Even better then I thought since they invited you to live with them. And I hope everything works out and you have a safe and heathy pregnancy.
As to the despicable trio we can only hope they dissappear. But I dought they will go quietly into the night. So protect your self. Carry a stun tool or mace. Since you would be living on a farm a cattle prod would be fun. And I can already see you smiling at your thought of using a cattle prod on Liam to stun him till the cop get there.. So I wish you the absolute best.
K_A_irony − I still can’t believe your family and friends thinks ANYONE setting up a person who was JUST widowed on a blind date without that person’s permission is OK. Is your family deranged? Your friend and that trio are certainly deranged.
I am glad you have your late husband’s family to support you. Work out with your therapist how you ended up with so many truly crazy boundary stomping people in your life. Once you untangle that, I am sure you will be in a better place. Good luck!
ilovemelongtime − Drove past your house twice?!. wtf!! I’d honestly consider setting up cameras (or maybe a door camera exists at your in-laws house?)
Congrats on the bebe, I hope MIL and FIL truly show love and support to you. You’ve been through enough.
Any-Expression2246 − I’d start a paper trail if I were you. Go to the police, make a report of stalking. If he’s driving past your place, he’s going to muster up the courage eventually to approach you there.
OGRealityCheck − NTA, sometimes your village is the family that you need. It’s even better that they are your husbands parents. They understand you and your grief more than anyone. Never in a million years would I think that even a worst enemy would set someone up on a blind date shortly after their spouses passing.
Just disgusting and deplorable!!! It is even worst bc you were expecting a quiet moment with your best friend, and we’re met something I won’t even repay bc it’s appalling.