AITA: for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died?

A Reddit user recently endured a shocking experience just weeks after losing her husband in a car accident. Her best friend set her up on a blind date without telling her, and it only got worse from there. Read the full story below to understand the emotional journey she went through.

‘ aITA: for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died?’

I just really need some clarity on this situation. I, 23F, lost my husband, 25M, weeks ago to a car accident. He was the love of my life, and I’m still not used to waking up without him every day. We had big plans for our future, and it all came crashing down in a heartbeat.

We met on his uncle’s farm; he was a farm hand, and it was love at first sight for me. I’m also 4 months pregnant, but I haven’t told anyone. I was planning on telling my friend when I was feeling better.

My best friend, Leigh, 24F, has been my shoulder to cry on during this time. She helped me with his funeral and anything else I needed, as I’m NC with my bio family (story for another time). She is currently dating Barry, 24M. They usually hang out in a trio with Liam, 24M.

When I first met Liam, he hit on me hard, tried everything. He would compare himself with my husband and say weird things like, “Our kids would be cuter than if you had kids with my husband.”

He’s also made weird comments like, “You need a city boy,” and would motion to himself, when I’m a country girl through and through. I typically would shut him down or ignore him, but I would always get dirty looks from Barry.

Skip to Sunday night: I got a message from Leigh, begging me to come to dinner with her because she wanted to treat me, as I had been through a lot in the last couple of weeks. Feeling not so bad about myself, I decided to go. When I arrived, she wasn’t there, so I texted her asking how long she would be.

She told me 5 minutes—she was just running late and was around the corner. So, I sat down and ordered a drink. Now, 5 minutes passed, and she was still not there. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited another five.

When I was about to call her, Liam came rushing over and gave his apologies for being late. I asked him, “What’s he doing here? I’m waiting for Leigh,” and it was a two-chair table. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand.

I ripped it off of him, and he just says, “Oh, I asked Leigh to set us up. Now that Husband’s name isn’t a problem, we can finally get to know each other.” He looked so cringey, and I’m telling you, I was floored. I stood up and told him that I wasn’t interested, and I certainly don’t give a flying f**k about getting to know him, and that I just lost my husband.

Without a word of a lie, this man stands up and says, “I know you’re being overly emotional right now, so I’ll forgive you for that. Sit down with me. I’m not saying we have to have s** straight away or anything.” I was disgusted. I shoved past him and went home as fast as I could.

When I did get home, Leigh messaged me, “So, how was dinner?” with a smirk emoji. I called her, and when she answered, I didn’t let her get a word in. I yelled at her, asked her how she had the audacity to do something like this weeks after I just lost my husband, when she’s been the one to hold me together this whole time.

I asked her, “What f**king game was she playing?” and that the only reason I wanted to meet tonight with HER was to tell her I’m pregnant. I just hung up on her and texted her, “I need time and don’t want to be contacted by her for the time being.”

Last night, Barry came to my house and asked to talk. I said no, and that if he didn’t leave, I’d call the police. He told me that I broke Leigh’s heart and that I deeply hurt Liam. He said now is an even better time to get to know Liam because he could raise my child with me.

I opened my door, which Barry took as me wanting to talk. Instead, I hit him with my shoes and chased him to his car, screaming. I’m actually embarrassed I did that. All day today, I’m being flooded with messages from friends and the trio themselves, shaming me for pushing the people who care about me the most away, and that they don’t even recognize the person I’ve become.

The only thing that hurts me most is that my husband would know what to do. He would tell me how to fix it, and now I have no one who I can talk to. I’m just so numb inside. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, but I’m thinking of calling my husband’s mom, even though we’ve barely spoken since the funeral. Any advice is appreciated. Please excuse any typos; I’m just so exhausted.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Ifiwerenyourshoes −  NTA, a thousand times. That is way too soon for any of that. Sorry I know women and it has been years and they are still not dating, and I am sorry for your loss. You need time to grieve. Take the time you need there is no timeline for it. Take care of yourself and your child.

roman1969 −  The real problem here is your friendship with Leigh. She may have supported you during the first few weeks of your loss, but she’s certainly not your friend now. She’s pimping you out to any bozo who comes along, probably at her A H husband’s insistence.

If they and anyone else thinks you can get over such a profound loss with a cheap f**k then they need out of your life. The fact that they’re all in on taking advantage of a grieving pregnant widow is beyond creepy. Of course you’ve changed. You’ve just lost your husband, which any normal person would be deeply affected by.

Cut them out of your life. No explanation needed. Block, block, block. You and baby are all that matter now. A H friends have absolutely no place in your life now.. I’m deeply sorry for your loss. NTAH.

MyFriendsCallMeEpic −  Fkn vultures. They aint your friends, they’re fkn vultures with a saviour complex. They think saving you is their calling and they dont care at all about your feelings. Im so sorry for your loss, its good that they are showing who they are now though, time to trim the excess fake friends.. NTA.

Carnaation_Pansy −  Calling your husband’s mom could be a good step if you feel comfortable; sometimes, reconnecting with family can provide support during tough times. Trust your instincts about who you want to talk to and when. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to take care of yourself as you navigate this difficult journey.

Ratchet_gurl24 −  OP, I’m so sorry for your loss. After everything you’re going through, your supposed best friend and her bf, have decided to pimp you out to a c**ep who won’t take no for an answer.

What the hell gave them the impression that a very recently grieving widow, who is trying to come to terms with the tragic loss of the love of her life, will be accepting of them trying desperately to set her up with someone else. The astronomical lack of compassion, empathy and understanding your friend is showing you, proves without a doubt they are no friend at all.

UnPracticed_Pagan −  NTA, but unfortunately OP your best friend isn’t your best friend. She took an opportunity when you are at your most vulnerable and attempted to exploit it.

Liam’s lack of empathy or boundaries gives me p**cho vibes and he also was quick to happily take up the chance to exploit your weakness and see if it was a way in.

All those people on their side saying you’re pushing people who care about you away? They aren’t the people you need in your life. They aren’t your friends the way you thought. Call your MIL, tell her the good news. Block the haters and that trio of self centered AHs.. Sorry for your loss.

MacChicken25 −  These 3 are absolute s**t humans. Did they absolutely hate your late husband or something? Lose the 3 of them. I can’t even comprehend the audacity that would make them think any of their behaviors was appropriate.

No_Jaguar67 −  NTA blast the 3 of them on social media and then block them.

StrongTxWoman −  As somebody who has lost someone dear to me, this is unforgivable. Who do they think they are? How dare them to tell op how to grief? F**k em. Grievance takes time differently but definitely takes more than a month (except my bf’s father who got a gf the next day his wife passed away).

If I were op, I didn’t think I could forgive them. No sane person will think it is okay. I can’t wrap my head around it. Even Hallmark channel knows better not to make a movie with a widow meet her guy in less than a month. When my best friend was murdered, I was inconsolable for a whole year.

The idea of having a friend to replace her is insulting. My bf told me I was embarrassing by grieving for so long because people were talking behind insinuate my best friend and I were lesbian lovers.

You know what I did? I chewed my bf out. How dare of him to tell me how to grief. For those friends spreading lies of us being lesbian lovers, so what we were. It didn’t change the way I loved my best friend. Google. It is okay that you are not okay and ask your friends to Google it too. Is this a troll post? No one with common sense will do that. I hope this is a troll post.

Proper-Foundation668 −  This can’t be real.