AITA for calling my girlfriend’s brother “shorter and less buff” than me?

A man jokingly teased his girlfriend’s younger brother during a casual conversation about gym progress, calling himself “buffer” and “taller.” The exchange quickly took a serious turn, leading the brother to react emotionally, accuse him of being disrespectful, and lock himself in the bathroom in distress.

The girlfriend asked for patience, but the boyfriend, frustrated, questioned the brother’s stability. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for calling my girlfriend’s brother “shorter and less buff” than me? ‘

I’ll keep it short.. so my girlfriend and I are dating for a year and a half now. She has a younger brother who I’ve only met a few times but we seemed to really get along all the time. I thought he’s really cool and chill. But she often complained to me about him for being “difficult”, he apparently has BPD.

Anyway, a couple of friends and him came to our apartment to hang out. Everything was fine and we had a smoke on our balcony. We talked about our gym progress and we complimented each other but also teased each other. He said it’s easier for him to bulk up since I’m 6’4 and he’s 5’11 or 6 foot.

I told him that I’m still buffer tho and it was all light hearted until it wasn’t. Suddenly the conversation became serious out of nowhere. He started to really debate me for no reason. “Okay you might be buffer and taller but that doesn’t make you a good person”. It became like that..

I told him to calm down and he just said “yeah whatever, f**king i**ot” He went inside and locked himself in our bathroom. My gf went after him and I heard him bawling through the door. I heard him say “your boyfriend sucks, how can you be with such an a**hole, you deserve much better, I’d never be with a girl who talked to you like this”

He wanted to leave and I told him that’s probably better since he seems mentally unstable. My gf scoffed at me and said to give him time since he’s going through it right now. Him crying like that and playing the victim makes me look bad but I also feel kinda s**tty since he seriously looked not well and in distress

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Ok_Conversation9750 −  Good grief- did you drop trousers and compare penis sizes while you were at it?  Arguing over who is “more buffed” – so very mature/s

Jocelyn-1973 −  INFO: what age is everyone? It matters if the brother is in puberty.

sadsleepygay −  I’ve literally never seen gym bros teasing each other about who is more or less buff end without a full on tantrum from someone but also your gf told you her brother had BPD. You aren’t the a**hole for his outburst, but YTA for telling him he seemed mentally unstable and should go.

Thats literally never not an a**hole move, especially to someone who you know has mental health issues.

embopbopbopdoowop −  “He wanted to leave and I told him that’s probably better since he seems mentally unstable.”. You went there. Wow. YTA.
Double YTA for leaving this worst part out of the title.

Ancient-Tomato1153 −  So a dude shorter than you (obvious insecurity) tried to feel better about themselves by saying well hey at least I can bulk up easier, and instead of just letting them have that, you decided to basically just say “no I’m actually better than you”.

You can be buffer and still have a harder time than him, and that isn’t an insult to you. Personally if I was him I would’ve laughed in your face if you said that, but I’m not surprised by his reaction either. Things get heated when the conversation is “hey which one of us would win in a fight har har”.

I’ve had best friends actually fist fight over stupid conversations like that. Just take your ego off a little bit, and if you truly believe you’re better off than someone, then recognize that you have nothing to prove and let them have the little wins, just be mature

yesnomaybenotso −  YTA. Not for saying he’s not as buff as you, get real. It’s for knowing he has BPD and the first time it expresses itself, you call him mentally unstable. If you saw a person in a wheelchair go to use a ramp, would you approach them and say “probably for the best, you seem crippled.”?

Why is it so hard for you, a supposedly mentally stable person, to recognize he’s emotionally distressed from something you clearly didn’t say or do to him? Why are you, again, supposedly stable, finding it so hard to recognize a miscommunication and for you to be the bigger, older, allegedly more emotionally stable person,

to say “I’m sorry you feel like I was being a j**k, but I don’t think we were understanding each other, you can leave if you want, but I don’t want you to think I don’t like you or was purposefully being mean to you, can we talk this out?”?

He’s trying to remove himself from the situation, which is what he needs to cope with his current emotions, and you insult him on the way out and come here like: aM i ThE A**hOlE fOr SaYiNg I’m BuFf? Take some accountability ffs. If you’re so mentally stable and all.

ooosiedooosie −  YTA , you know he has BPD and you did a quick jab . You’re in of right mind so you should have just laughed it off and dropped it . What did you have to prove ? Even this thread sounds like you’re still jerking your ego off bro

Dapper_Internet_8576 −  Yeah, just insult him and then be surprised he wont like you lmao. Yta obviously

OliveMammoth6696 −  NTA. you don’t have to walk on eggshells in your home. Also even though he diagnosed BPD also doesn’t mean that he gets to be that way. If he’s having an episode he needs to leave. Also your gf seems like an enabler rather than someone supporting someone with mental health issues.

The comment was a joke meant to be light and he did a complete 180. That’s not on you, he needs to deal better with things that might set him off. Also drinking and smoking while you’re on medication is not smart.

algunarubia −  Slight YTA. I think you didn’t know this kid well enough to tease him like that. There are many, many people out there who would find this type of casual ribbing to be a sign of affection, but you didn’t know him well enough to know whether he’d take it that way or not, and he took it badly.

Now that you know how sensitive he is, I think you should apologize for teasing him and tell him you really didn’t mean for him to take it as an insult. And remember not to tease him like this again, because he clearly can’t take it.

Was he out of line, or was it an innocent joke? Share your thoughts!