AITA for leaving my friend stranded because she kept us waiting for over an hour?
A Redditor faced backlash after deciding to leave a perpetually late friend behind on a party bus night out. Despite repeated assurances that she’d arrive on time, “Sarah” kept the group waiting for over an hour, making everyone late for the celebration.
The OP finally decided to leave a text saying they were heading off without her, and Sarah, showing up 10 minutes later, was furious. Now, the friend group is split—some say the OP was right to leave, while others argue they should have waited, knowing Sarah’s tendency to run late. Who’s in the wrong here?
‘ AITA for leaving my friend stranded because she kept us waiting for over an hour?’
So, this happened last weekend, and now my friend group is split over whether I was justified or a total j**k. I have a friend, lets call her “Sarah” who is *always* late. I’m talking, “we tell her to be there at 6 knowing she’ll show up at 7” kind of late. The rest of us have learned to tolerate it, but last Saturday pushed things too far.
We were all going out for a friend’s birthday and had rented a party bus to take us to a few spots. The bus was booked for a specific time slot, so we all agreed to meet at 6:30 p.m. to make sure we’d be on it by 7 p.m. Sarah swore she’d be there on time. Guess what? 7 rolls around, and Sarah is still nowhere to be found. We texted and called, and she just kept saying, “I’m almost there!”
After waiting for over an hour, we decided we had to go. I texted her that we were leaving and she’d have to find her own way to meet us if she still wanted to join. Well, she showed up about 10 minutes later and was FURIOUS that we’d left. She called me s**fish, said I “ditched” her, and made the entire night all about her being “abandoned.”
Now, half the friend group says I did the right thing, while the others think I was way too harsh and should’ve waited since I “know how she is.” But it was everyone’s night, not just hers, and I feel like it was fair after all the waiting. AITA? Should I have waited even longer, or was it time to finally put my foot down?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
gastropod43 − Yta for not leaving at 7:00. Why do you enable her.
DashingTwirling − NTA. She wasn’t left stranded, she chose this outcome. Sarah doesn’t value anyone else’s time or money and then has the audacity to be angry with you?
“Sarah, we are leaving by 6:30, if anyone is later than that they will need to drive themselves.” No more passes. No more accommodating rude s**fish “friends.”
Anxious-Routine-5526 − YTA for not leaving when you said you would. Your entire group are aholes for enabling her behavior.
Sarah’s inability to manage her own time is just that, *her* problem. It’s not up to the rest of the world to wait around with their thumbs up their butts waiting for her to grace them with her presence to begin activities. Go on and do what you plan when you plan. She either starts showing up or misses out. It’s all up to her.
mynamecouldbesam − NTA You should’ve left by 7.15.
llamadramalover − **ESH**
*Why. Are. You. Enabling. Her. S**fish. B**lshit.** It is unconscionable that a whole ass group of you sat there, on a bus you all paid for, waiting for *one. person.* who was 90 minutes late. Not just one of you. Not just her best friend. Not just a couple.
*Every. Single. One. Of. You.* Just held up **SOMEONE’S BIRTHDAY** for this one s**fish person who was **NOT** the first of honor. I don’t know what is wrong with your friend group but that’s a shocking level of disrespect to be allowed from all sides.
Malibu_Cola − NTA. You waited long enough for Sarah, and had a specific time slot to meet. She STILL decided to be slow. She needs to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around her schedule.
Old_Lead_2110 − What did she do between 6:30 and 8:10? Have coffee with a friend? See a movie? Go to the gym?
lurninandlurkin − NTA. My friend used to leave on time no matter who hadn’t arrived and if asked why he didn’t wait, he would ask them what time they get to the airport for a (insert agreed to time here) flight and in the end, those that wanted to go would make sure they were there, those that were late started to realise the world didn’t revolve around them.
Bigstachedad − Sarah is controlling and manipulating (as are most people who are chronically late). Time to reevaluate her friendship and also the people who are defending her.
FrostingPowerful5461 − YTA for waiting for an hour.
What do you think? Should the OP have waited longer since they knew Sarah’s habit of being late, or was it fair to leave after an hour of waiting? Have you been in a similar situation with a chronically late friend? Share your thoughts on handling this kind of dilemma!
I’m surprised that no one’s played the ADHD card in these comments. Pleasantly surprised, mind you, because so many people on this site use that (even if made-up for the situation) for an excuse.
Yta because you allowed her to be late before,and now expecting her to be on time when you knew she is always late.You didn’t corrected her as that’s your duty as a friend in the past, friends are supposed to help you fixing your behavior problems,instead of that, you just allowed her to disrespect your time and now you’re upset ? Funny. Of course she feels abandoned, because you didn’t corrected this from the very first time when that happened,and still allowed her to be late showing thats not real consequences and is okay to be late,now suddently you realized that isn’t okay and can affect everyone time/fun even losing money,and you’re upset.Is your mistake more than hers, to be honest.Apologize but not for not waiting her, but because you teached her is ok to be late,and set up a straight rule : you will not be waited for more than 10 minutes if you late for anything that you planned ,that if you still want to be friends,and follow up your word everytime she gets late more than 10 minutes without a serious valid reason( i lost the bus isn’t a valid reason,could be earlier to not lose it,as an example)leave and tell her that you did that. Would teach her to value more the time of her friends.
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Sarah needs to learn that the world does not revolve around her.
Next time, don’t wait more than a half hour. Make the wait shorter and shorter.
She may have ADHD. Chronically late isn’t always a way to manipulate others. Still, as someone who knows her own tendencies to get distracted, Sarah needs to gather herself and realize how to cope with it if that’s her situation. You gave her the option to meet up elsewhere, that didn’t exclude her.
NTA: why do you all put up with her? Whenever anyone anywhere says, “that’s just how [someone] is,” say, well that’s not how they should be.