AITAH for telling my gf I won’t move in with her because her rent demands are unreasonable?

A Redditor is debating moving in with his girlfriend, who owns a house and has been making mortgage payments. Although they both want to live together, she insists he pay rent that matches the market rate for her home, which is double what he currently pays at his own apartment.

While he understands her wish to maintain ownership, he feels the amount is excessive and more than he’d want to pay, especially given he’d essentially be renting one room rather than the entire property. Now, they’re at an impasse. Is he being unreasonable, or is his girlfriend’s rent demand too steep?

‘ AITAH for telling my gf I won’t move in with her because her rent demands are unreasonable?’

My gf and I have been together for a while. While I make good money, my gf actually had a house she’s making payments on. We discussed moving in together, and she doesn’t feel entirely comfortable adding me to her mortgage, even though we do want to get married eventually.

I said it’s fine, and I get it, this is her house and she’s been dealing with it for years now. But obviously I don’t want to be a kept man. I currently rent a place, and it’s relatively decent for the price. Anyway, we were making calculations and her demand on my “rent” for her is twice as much as what I pay for my own place.

I told her that is absolutely ridiculous. She claims it’s what her house would rent for in the market (Not inaccurate) but I told her that only works when the landlord isn’t in the house, and that at most I’d be renting just one room.

I COULD afford it, if I don’t save as much, but it’d too close for comfort. She says I’m just making excuses, and I told her I’m not gonna be paying that much. She insists she really wants to live together, but she said I need to pull my own weight.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Thistime232 −  NTA. So she wants you to pay what fair market rental value would be for the ENTIRE house? Even though she’d be living there as well? If she started with half of the fair market rental value, since you’d be sharing the place, that could be a starting point to discuss things, but her current stance is so incredibly unfair I don’t even think I’d want to have that discussion with her if I was you.

EconomicsWorking6508 −  This sounds odd. You are right to question her pricing strategy and even her motivation. Proceed with caution. NTA.

Mother_Search3350 −  She wants you to pay her mortgage.  If it’s that high, you could buy your own home and put that money in a mortgage for a property in your name.

SuzCoffeeBean −  NTA I’d find that very off putting.

mainsailstoneworks −  Market rate for rent is not the same as what someone needs to make ends meet on a mortgage. NTA. This is weird to me. Being uncomfortable with adding you to a mortgage I get, but this seems like she’s trying to keep you at arms length while using your relationship to help her pay off a mortgage.

Fredredphooey −  NTA. When two people move in together, they usually split it 50/50 or prorate it if one person makes a lot more money than the other.
She should be asking for half the mortgage and half the utilities. To gouge you by trying to charge you the cost of renting her entire house on your own is absolutely ridiculous. 

It bodes ill for how she sees your financial future together. Ask her what your “rent” would be if you were married. But honestly, if someone tried to financially abuse me that hard, I would walk away from the relationship. I would never try to profit from my romantic partner, and that’s what she’s doing. 

New_Day684 −  Tell her you’ll pay that amount when she moves out so then it’s fair market value.

Dashqu −  NTA keep your appartment until you are ready to marry. Doubling your rent so you can live together in her house, while her costs go waaaaaay down? No thank you.

IndependenceOk7128 −  If my girl told me this I’d seriously tell her imagine if the shoe was on the other foot? You’re her partner, not her tenant.

Sensitive-Ask-9368 −  Did you just feel that bullet whiz past your head, need to dodge the next one. You are her ATM.