AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister’s Wedding Because She Wants to “Repurpose” My Wedding Dress?

One Reddit user finds herself in a difficult spot after her sister requested to “repurpose” her wedding dress for her own big day. When she refused, citing sentimental value and her desire to preserve it, her sister and parents accused her of being selfish.

Now, her sister says she doesn’t want her at the wedding unless she hands over the dress. Is she really being unreasonable, or does her family need to respect her feelings?

‘ AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister’s Wedding Because She Wants to “Repurpose” My Wedding Dress?’

Throwaway account because family knows my main. I (28F) got married last year in a small but beautiful ceremony. My husband and I spent months planning every detail, and the highlight for me was my wedding dress.

I saved up for years to buy this dress—it was my dream dress. It’s this beautiful lace, A-line gown with intricate beadwork and a long train. I felt like a princess and still get emotional just thinking about it.

Fast forward to now: my sister (26F) is engaged, and her wedding is coming up in six months. She recently came over to our place to chat about wedding plans. At one point, she casually mentioned that she’d love to “borrow” my dress. She thinks it would be “cute” to “repurpose” it, maybe by shortening the skirt or even dyeing it a different color so it’s “unique to her.”

I was taken aback. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her altering my dress, especially since it has a lot of sentimental value to me. She got upset and said I was being s**fish because she wanted to save money on her wedding, and “family should support each other.” When I stood my ground, she accused me of “not caring about her big day” and stormed out.

My parents later called me and said I was “breaking her heart” by refusing to share. They said that since I’m married and “done with the dress,” it shouldn’t be a big deal. But it *is* a big deal to me. I want to keep my dress as it is. They suggested I just “let her have her way” to avoid family drama, but honestly, I feel like it’s my dress and my decision.

Now my sister says she “won’t feel comfortable” with me at her wedding unless I “show my support” by letting her use the dress. I don’t want to miss her wedding, but I also don’t want to give in to something I’m not comfortable with. AITA for refusing to let her “repurpose” my wedding dress and considering not attending the wedding?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

PrincessxDianne −  NTA. It’s your dress, and your sister is being unreasonable.

Sassy-Peanut −  OP-I’m guessing your ‘golden child’ sister has always bullied you and enlisted your parents to back up her m**ipulative behaviour. You are married now and it’s time to stop being a doormat to your former family. Former because you and your husband are a family now and you two come first.

You have a right to refuse and tell your cheap-ass sister to buy her own dress. And book a romantic weekend away with your husband for the date of the wedding. Your sister doesn’t care about you anyway, only getting what she wants. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying NO with a smile – it’s very freeing.

PorkyMcRib −  NTA. You don’t just get to decide to claim somebody else’s sentimental property. Let alone decide to hack it up and change colors. I would refuse to go under any circumstances.

Stormiealways −  Now my sister says she “won’t feel comfortable” with me at her wedding unless I “show my support” by letting her use the dress.. Response? I won’t feel comfortable attending a wedding that I was blackmailed into giving MY wedding dress away.

I’m not comfortable with you “borrowing ” my dress, then altering it in a way it can’t be returned to its original design. If that means I’m excluded from your wedding, well, enjoy your day.. Absolutely NTA.

SeaworthinessDue8650 −  Does anyone in your family have the keys to your place? If they do, change the locks. Your sister is the spoiled golden child. .  NTA.

[Reddit User] −  In our culture where siblings are even more close. You still don’t share your wedding dresses even if you are poor and can’t afford. You will rather buy cheap one than expecting from former bride. Nta your sister is being s**fish and you need to stand on your ground. If she loves you, she won’t b**ckmail you and put conditions. NTA.

ForkliftGirl404 −  NTA, a wedding is one of the biggest events in a person’s life. Your sister sounds like she wants to one up you by using your dress but making it ‘better’.

Don’t give in OP, if you do, it’ll not only ruin the memory of your wedding, but the item you cherish from it the most. If your family is so hell bent that ‘family helps family’ then everyone can pitch in to help your sis get her ‘unique’ dress she wants.

LilyLaura01 −  If your sister wants to “repurpose” a wedding dress then there are plenty in charity shops that she can ruin to her hearts content. The sheer f**king entitlement is just so rude and disrespectful.

Tell her the only other person that will be entitled to YOUR dress will be your daughter if you have one. As for your parents, they need to just not and respect your wishes and feelings. NTA.

Kitchen_Victory_7964 −  NTA. Please make sure to put your lovely gown in storage somewhere secure that isn’t your home (where your sister/family *cannot* access it), but keep the box or bag it came in.

Then go find an A-line gown at a thrift shop and hide it in the gown’s box/bag at your home. Keep refusing your gown to your sister and see if this gown mysteriously goes missing lol.

klurtin −  First of all, why not post on your main account? Your family should see the responses and maybe they’d have a wake up call. Your dress is your dress. It is yours to do whatever you want to with. Your sister can buy or rent her own. Especially since she wants to “repurpose”. Tell her to hit the thrift shops or resale shops.

Personally, it sounds like it would be worth sitting out this wedding. It is too much drama already. If I were you, I’d buy some champagne, put on your dress, and spend a lovely day celebrating your love with your husband instead. NTA but your family seems full of them.