AITA for cancelling thanksgiving dinner after my family refused to follow one simple rule?

A Reddit user shares her Thanksgiving dilemma: her child has a weakened immune system, so she asked her family to skip dinner if they had any cold or flu symptoms. Instead of understanding, some family members pushed back, leading her to cancel the gathering altogether. Was this too drastic, or was it a necessary step to protect her child?

‘ AITA for cancelling thanksgiving dinner after my family refused to follow one simple rule?’

For years, I’ve been the one to host Thanksgiving dinner. I actually love cooking and bringing everyone together. But this year, my youngest child has a medical condition that weakens their immune system, so the doctors advised us to be very cautious about contact with anyone showing symptoms of a cold or flu.

So, I made a simple request in our family chat: if anyone felt sick or had cold symptoms, please skip dinner this year. I didn’t think it was a huge ask—just a small precaution for my child’s health. But when I brought it up, a few family members got upset.

They said they couldn’t just miss Thanksgiving over a “small cold” and that I was overreacting. Some even joked that if anyone sneezed, I’d throw them out of the house.

I tried explaining, but no one seemed to take me seriously. After a lot of back and forth, I decided to cancel Thanksgiving dinner at my place and told them they could gather elsewhere if they wanted.

Now, several family members are angry, saying I went too far and that I ruined Thanksgiving with an “absurd rule.” Others think I’m punishing everyone just because they didn’t follow my “demands.” Honestly, I was only trying to protect my child, but now I feel guilty. AITA for canceling dinner instead of risking someone coming sick?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

WizardOfWubWub −  NTA. Plenty of time anyway for them to come up with a new plan.

ChickSec −  NTA. Like you say, you’re protecting your child. Imagine your child getting super sick because a family member brought a cold to your home, then how would they feel? They’re being s**fish, let them sort their own dinner.

Freeverse711 −  It’s literally still October, they have a month to plan Thanksgiving somewhere else. What entitled assholes, care more about a turkey than your kids health. NTA.

ImHappierThanUsual −  You need to be as dramatic as they are being. You don’t even need to be hyperbolic, just dramatize the truth!

“So you don’t care if my child lives or dies??? You want to use your Thanksgiving to kill my baby with your diseases like the settlers did the natives?!? MY BABY HAS AN AUTOIMMUNE CONDITION! What if it were YOUR baby?!”

FYourAppLeaveMeAlone −  NTA.The ableist assholes can cook their own dinner. Some families with immunosuppressed family members even isolate and wear masks before family gatherings! Wild, I know! What they are really saying is “I don’t give a s**t if your kid dies”. Believe them.

BrainySmurf −  NTA. “Since my child’s health is unimportant to some of you, we are standing behind our decision to not host Thanksgiving this year. It makes us sad that such a small, humane, request caused some to react so poorly. We’ve decided that it’s best we skip these family gatherings, our child’s health may not be important to some family members but it’s most important to us. ”

AshesB77 −  The fact that you had to even ask them is BS. No one should be visiting when sick even if it’s a cold. Considering they are family, they must know about your child and they are still arguing? They don’t deserve you. NTA.

Independent-Win9088 −  NTA. Someone brought me covid for Xmas 2022, and due to my autoimmune disease, I’ve been flared since. My rheumatologist can’t get it under control. We’re on a high dose of prednisone to keep my knees from swelling and immobilizing me, but all the biological injection meds we have tried aren’t working.

2 years of hobbling on a cane, missing work, doc appts, co-pays, weight gain from said prednisone, can’t walk more than 10 feet without buckling. All because someone decided Christmas was more important than the health of everyone else there.

I don’t know if or when I’ll get my system under control. F**k them. Tell your s**fish assed family to absolutely kick rocks, from me.

MaliceIW −  NTA. My partner is immunocompromised due to a medical condition, so we have a similar rule for anyone coming round, and to inform us of being unwell if we’re meeting them out, as then my partner can decide if he wants to stay home so he doesn’t risk getting ill. And for the most part people comply because it is basic human decency and etiquette.

You should screenshot these comments and show your family that 90% of the population think they are s**fish, ignorant utter arse holes. I mean saying that a roast turkey is more important than making sure your relative doesn’t die is just disgusting.

Mother_Search3350 −  They’re not homeless…
Plenty of time for them to make other plans in their own homes.