AITA because I won’t buy her anything but v-bucks now?

A Redditor shares their frustrations about gift-giving for their 10-year-old niece, whose mother, “Agatha,” has a habit of taking credit for the presents. This user has previously tried to give meaningful, thoughtful gifts, only to find out that Agatha manipulates the situation, leading the niece to believe that her mother provided the gifts instead.

To avoid further disappointment, the user now only plans to give their niece V-Bucks, which can be applied to her account immediately. Their own mother disapproves, saying this approach is unkind, but the Redditor feels it’s a reasonable compromise until the niece is old enough to understand. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA because I won’t buy her anything but v-bucks now?’

My nieces mother, I’ll call her Agatha here, is a very s**fish, greedy person. She’s always mean to others and is raising her daughter to be the same. If her daughter doesn’t get exactly what she wants for a gift she will tell the gifter she doesn’t want it.

Because of this I try VERY hard to get her meaningful and unique gifts that she can appreciate even as she ages. I recently found out that all the gifts I’ve gotten for my niece, her Mom, Agatha, gaslights her into believing they’re from Agatha. My niece literally believes that I’ve only ever gifted her v-bucks.

I found this out because I asked her if she still had one of the gifts and how she likes it and she looked at me all confused and said that I never got her that and that her Mom bought it for her. I asked about a couple other things and got the same answer.

I just said okay and went and did other stuff because I’m not going to tell a 10 year old that her mother is lying to her. Now though, I’m stuck thinking, “why should I get her anything other than v-bucks if her Mom is just going to gaslight her into believing they’re from Agatha and not me”.

The v-bucks she puts on her account before she goes home, so that seems to be the only thing I can get her that she can’t get gaslit into believing is from her Mom. AITA for deciding I should only get her v-bucks from here on out? My Mom says I’m being an a-hole.

I figure, when my niece is older and I know she will remember it, I can take her shopping and let her pick out what she wants and buy her lunch and make a day of it, that way Agatha can’t gaslight her. Until then, I’m thinking v-bucks but again, my Mom says I’m being cruel.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

KaliTheBlaze −  10 years old is old enough for her to remember you taking her out shopping to choose her gifts. Not sure why you think she’s too young for that now. NTA for wanting your niece to know your gifts are from you, but you’ve already described a better option than just giving the v-bucks

elzabeth02 −  Could you make sure to only give your niece a gift when you’re in the room? So there’s no confusion who it’s from?

Cali4niasober −  What are v bucks?

110110011001100010 −  My brother is a little older but has been through some s**t. I plan on taking him shopping to make up for the last couple of years. He’ll be able to actively make choices. I agree with the response relating to ‘10 years old being old enough to take shopping/make choices’.

I know it sucks but I wouldn’t mention the part about Agatha g**lighting to the kid. You could try talking to Agatha but, just by what you’ve explained, I doubt that’d go over well.

PhoenixBorealis −  NTA, but start taking videos of your niece opening her gifts from you saying things like, “Okay, time to open my present, honey.”. Also, WTF are V-bucks?

zepticvoid −  NTA. If it hasn’t already, bring this to Dad’s attention. If possible, document what has already been done to niece. G**lighting is abuse. This child sb protected from Mom. As in Dad has sole custody, with no unsupervised visits with Mom or any maternal family

esmerelofchaos −  NTA, but you’re also not being cruel – your mom is wrong there.This kid is being abused by her lying parent. Definitely work out other ways to show this kid you care.

Sethicles2 −  NTA, but ffs, PLEASE stop using “gaslight” here. It’s just lying. They are NOT synonyms.

blahhhhhhhhhhhblah −  She’s 10; I bet she’d absolutely love and enjoy a day of shopping and lunch.

Individual_Metal_983 −  NTA her mother is a piece of work.

Do you think the user is justified in sticking to V-Bucks, or should they continue with meaningful gifts despite the mother’s behavior? How would you handle a similar situation with a family member? Share your thoughts below!