AITA for telling my SIL to shut it about Bridgerton because I hate it ?

A bride-to-be (25F) became frustrated during wedding dress shopping, as her future mother-in-law insisted on a modest dress due to religious preferences. Her sister-in-law, Peggy, repeatedly compared the dresses to Bridgerton styles, a show the bride dislikes.

Overwhelmed, she snapped, asking Peggy to stop talking about the show. Peggy and the MIL left upset, and the bride’s mom criticized her reaction. She feels that her wedding choices are being overrun by others’ opinions. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my SIL to shut it about Bridgerton because I hate it. ?’

I (25f) went wedding dress shopping a few days ago. It was a shitshow. My fiancé is from a religious family and it was important for him to get married at his family’s church. It’s not something I always wanted for myself, but his family is helping to pay for the ceremony and this means a lot to him.

The problem is that his mom insists that I get a modest wedding dress. I tried on a bunch of dresses that were “modest” and I hated them. I don’t like puffy sleeves. I hate looking covered up. I look like Princess Leia if she were from Alabama, not Alderaan. This is not what I wanted.

It was my mom, my SIL and MIL and my MOH at the bridal shop. They were trying to cheer me up, but I wasn’t having it. My sister in law Peggy was the worst. She loves shows like Bridgerton. Anyone who knows me knows I can’t stand that show.

She kept hyping up how my dress make me look like someone from the show. After four or five dresses, I was fed and up wanted to call it quits. But she wanted me to try on one more. I snapped at her. I told her to shut up about Bridgerton and I don’t want to hear about that show again for the rest of the day.

We ended up leaving after this. Peggy was upset and she and her mom just left. My mom is pissed at me and said what I did was not acceptable. I’m just frustrated because it feels like everyone is hijacking the whole wedding process and I don’t even have a say about what I want. It’s like this wedding is more about what Peggy and my MIL want.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

OscarnBennyesmom −  Sounds like you are marrying into a controlling family is that what you really want?

ThreeDogs2022 −  NTA but you need to slow this entire roll. Are you actually ok with getting married in this church? Is it something you’re doing to make your spouse happy that you’re neutral about (which is fine) or is it something that you’re doing that you actively have a problem with (which is not?).

Assuming you’re actually ok with the venue, call the administrative staff and ask if there are any formal requirements about dress for the venue (some traditional places might for example not allow bared shoulders etc). Keeping any venue requirements in mind, pick out your own dress.

If you can’t afford the wedding you’re having without nutty b**lying by the in laws, scale back to something you can personally afford to pay for. This is NOT worth it.

plm56 −  NTA But this is a preview of your life going forward, with your in-laws running the show. House? Gotta be close enough that they can visit. Kids? MIL knows how they need to be raised.. Is that what you want?

DungeonCrawler-Donut −  NTA but it’s not about bridgerton, it’s about you feeling you’re not in control of the wedding and quite possibly the marriage. You need to discuss this with your OH and spend some time really considering what you want.

Sea-Professor-5859 −  I think you could have delivered the message more kindly, but it’s not the issue here. As others have said, this is just the tip of the iceberg for your life after marriage.

25 is pretty young to be making this kind of commitment, given that your brain is only just starting to approach being fully formed and functional.  I would sit your fiancé down and work on a compromise that actually WORKS for you both.

You’re okay with a church wedding, but you won’t wear a modest dress that you hate. It’s his job to communicate that and stand up for you re his family. If they won’t agree, then this isn’t the marriage for you. It’s a huge red flag for your in laws to believe they own your body.

Imagine if you have a child together and they force you to give birth at home with no pain management for instance! Abuse is abuse.  You also need to ask him some really hard and important questions about his own religious beliefs. Does he support you in using birth control or having an a**rtion?

Do you actually agree on how religion will play a role in any future children’s upbringing? Does he want to stand up for you and your values when they don’t align with his mother’s? 

Mayalestrange −  YTA, Your sister in law isn’t the one hijacking things and it’s not her fault you and your fiance don’t have the backbone to stand up for yourselves. She was just trying to be positive and hype you up. You directed your anger at her for things that are not her fault.

You should apologize to her directly for that. You could have told her calmly that you’re not a fan of Bridgerton styles so it’s not the vibe you want to see after the first one or two times so she would stop.

pamelaonthego −  ESH. Your in laws for pressuring you to try on dresses that you don’t like and you for being rude to your SIL who was genuinely trying to make things better. Elope and be done with the nonsense, or at least downsize the wedding to only very close friends and family so you can afford it on your own.

BeeJackson −  YTA – You took your anger out on the wrong person because you have no control over your wedding (and maybe relationship). If you don’t want a church wedding or to wear an u**y dress then woman up and say so.

If you are in a relationship where you constantly have to compromise or ignore your wants and needs then have that conversation with your fiancé and decide if this marriage will work long term. That family is only going to get worse.. Good luck!

JFCMFRR −  Imagine this level of control, nuisance and general b**lshit from your in-laws for the rest of your life.Test it out, tell your fiance that you’re buying the dress you want and going to pick it out with your mom and maid of honor (or whoever, just exclude the unsupportive in-laws) and tell him why.

Tell him they’re not letting you free to choose your own wedding dress and you want to enjoy the process, not feel like you’re negotiating against your own wishes. See how he reacts. Then imagine what it’ll be like with your MIL if you have kids.

PurpleStar1965 −  Don’t take their money. Pay for what you and fiancé can afford. Then, maybe, they will understand they don’t have a say in things.
Honestly, they sound exhausting. And they will be up in your bizness for the duration of your marriage.

When they express their opinions – remember the southern phrase – “Bless your heart”.. NTA

Is she justified in wanting control over her wedding dress? Share your thoughts below!