AITA for demanding my friend pays for the chair she broke?

A Reddit user recounts a situation where their friend, who is plus-sized, broke a designer lounge chair during a dinner gathering after choosing to use it instead of the provided dining chairs. The friend moved the chair, sat in it, then shifted and put weight on one of its legs, causing it to break.

Although the user expressed concern and helped initially, they later asked their friend to pay for the chair, leading to backlash from their friend and mixed opinions within their friend group. Was the Redditor wrong to ask for compensation? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for demanding my friend pays for the chair she broke?’

I have this friend who is pretty big. Like, 350lbs or maybe a bit more, while everyone else in our circle is more on the slim side. I love her very much and want her to feel at home at my place, so I made sure that my new chairs at the dining table are safe for her to use.

But then she didn’t really find them comfortable. No armrests that would be tight to fit in or curved seats to press into her legs or anything, it was just that they weren’t upholstered enough for her liking or something.

So then she saw that nice comfy lounge chair in my living room and dragged it over to the table because she wanted to use it instead. I told her it might not be as sturdy as the chairs but she still wanted to use it.

It’s a designer Chair, one of those cup-formed ones with thin brass legs, beautiful but not very stable. Got it at a designer outlet for 250$ a few weeks ago. She sat down in it, all good. Then she raised one of her legs to put it on the rim of the Chair and against the table. Ok.

Then she decided to fold her other leg below her onto the chair and shifted her weight back and to the left to do this, tilting the chair slightly back while holding on to the table to do this acrobatics. The Chair creaked, and then the leg bent and broke and she crashed to the floor with it.

My friend hurt her elbow and everyone was all over her and making her feel good that night, including me. We got her an ice pack and everything and no blame, she was clearly shocked and shaken so it wasn’t the time to talk about the chair…

she blamed the chair for not being sturdy right away though and said many times how it sucks to be treated like this by the world. I didn’t say much in that Moment. But the next day I called her to ask about paying for the chair. See, it cost much and I didn’t offer it to her, and she broke it?

She’s is extremly angry now and our group of friends is split: some say that I’m wrong because her weight isn’t her fault and she should be able to do what she likes regardless, otherwise it’s discrimination and also I should have told her absolutely not to sit on that chair if I wasn’t sure it would support her.

Some are on my side and say, she shouldn’t have dragged a chair over that wasn’t intended to be used at the table and if she did, she should have just kept her feet on the floor as that clearly worked better, and that she knows her weight and associated issues best.

I agree with the latter, and also want full price from her. I won’t be able to replace the chair with the same model (the regular price is just too high and none are left at the outlet), but it was just a few weeks old so I think I deserve the full Price to get something else instead.

Also, I’m just 120lbs and like, I love her, but why would I have to buy only chairs that can support thrice my own weight? That’s not how it works in my head. Am I the a**hole for asking for 250€ for the damaged chair? It can’t be repaired either.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

guardlamamama −  NTA – Who drags a decorative chair to the dining table when there are already enough chairs? Who leans back in an expensive, decorative chair?

My kids get in trouble for leaning back in ordinary chairs at the table. This person has terrible manners, regardless of their weight, and broke your furniture while being rude and careless.

TheSciFiGuy80 −  NTA
I’m not a fan of people saying “her weight isn’t her fault”. Listen, thyroid issue or not she knows she’s heavy and it’s HER responsibility to be careful with other people’s furniture.

Her weight may not be her fault (according to her and those who enable her) but her weight is part of her life and she needs to be more careful. She should absolutely pay for the chair she broke. If she’s a real friend that (offering to pay) would have been the first thing she did after she felt ok.

Hour-Equivalent-6189 −  NTA she didn’t even break the chair from being too large for it, she broke the chair by sitting on it like a m**on. She needs to keep her feet off other peoples expensive furniture

No-Entertainment3435 −  Even if she weighed 90lbs, NTA. She grabbed a chair she wasn’t invited to. You suggested she not use it. She proceeded to use it, and in fact use it incorrectly. She consequently destroyed your property. Of course she should pay.

ashyjay −  NTA, even as someone who’s fat, offering to pay would be the first thing I’d think of, after dying from embarrassment.
removing her weight from the equation, she broke something of yours and should pay or replace it.

naraic- −  Hey OP. Your friend is 350lbs. I’m a big guy. I’m 220lbs. I weigh a lot less than her but I know not to raise my legs and lean back on random chairs. If I choose to do so I am purposefully risking breaking the chair or purposefully trying to break the chair.

Its a deliberate act of damage imo. Not only should you be getting a refund of what you spent but she should be getting the chair at whatever cost it costs to buy it for you.. NTA

RumblinWreck2004 −  NTA – “I told her it might not be sturdy enough.” Given the price of the chair I would have told her absolutely not to use it but I’ve been told I can be somewhat abrasive.

DescriptionFew6118 −  Nta. Your friends shouldn’t say that her weight isn’t her fault, because it is definitely her fault. You shouldn’t have to be financially responsible for the health choices that she makes. She broke your chair and should pay for it. 

CarolZero −  Look, I’m all about body neutrality, I think fatphobia is VERY real and it sucks that so many people have to deal with a world that does not quite work for their size. I’m sure your friend felt like s**t, I can’t imagine the embarrassment, and I’m really sorry she had to go through that.
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That said, I don’t understand how offering to pay the chair wasn’t her first instinct. She’s the one who dragged a chair that was not meant to be used in that context AND used it wrong. You literally warned her. I would have offered to pay right away. NTA.

Although, we don’t know how you communicated it to her, so maybe the delivery could have been a problem if she got so mad? But based only on the facts, yeah, NTA.

Novafancypants −  NTA. You were kind enough to make sure the chairs at the table could support her. Yet she goes and grabs a decorative fancy chair to sit in? She is giving main character vibes and I bet if you thought about it this wouldn’t be the first time she’s done something similar.

Was the user right to ask their friend to cover the chair’s cost, or was it unfair given the situation? How would you handle this delicate balance between hospitality and accountability? Share your thoughts below!