AITA for not including my friends that didn’t pitch in for a bday gift?
A Redditor explains a tricky situation where they took the lead on buying an expensive $700 birthday gift for a friend, with the expectation that five other friends would pitch in $100 each. After agreeing to the arrangement, however, not everyone came through with their share. With the birthday just around the corner, the user is deciding whether to include those who didn’t contribute. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for not including my friends that didn’t pitch in for a bday gift?’
I swiped my credit card on a $700 birthday gift and asked 5 friends to each pitch in $100 and I’ll cover the rest. I gave them 30 days (due 2 weeks before the bday) to get the money together, they all agreed.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Wabbit-127 − NTA. You will never get the $ back. Smart move. Next time just give a gift by yourself and spend what you want.
Usrname52 − Did they all agree to this before you “swiped your card”? Who are you buying a birthday gift for that’s $700? Did you all have a sit down and agree to this BEFORE you paid for it? Or you just presented it to everyone that this is what you are doing?
MidtownMoi − Why are you spending $700 on a birthday present? That’s what I’d want to know before I passed judgement here.
SomeoneYouDontKnow70 − NTA. If they want credit for the gift, they need to pitch in. If they can’t afford to go in on a $700 gift, then they should buy a gift that they can afford and gift that instead. That having been said, $700 for a birthday gift is insane.
TeachBS − Nope. They are TAH. Happened to me a couple of times before I started collecting UP FRONT.
Montanapat89 − NTA, OP. In the future, get the money before purchasing. It would have saved you some $. Also, make it clear if you don’t have the $ by whatever date, their name is not going on the card. Good on you for not adding their names. They need to step up and either pay or say they can’t afford it at the time the gift is suggested.
alicat777777 − I have never had a $700 gift from friends. It’s not even typical for $100. Don’t get elaborate gifts unless they pay BEFORE! Have them Venmo or cash app you the money ahead. This is exactly what I would expect to happen. They are covered so now they will pay you whenever or not ever. NTA for not putting their name but be smarter next time. Let them buy their own gift, even. Clearly they weren’t going to spend that much.
1962Michael − NTA. Especially since they clearly had disposable income, they chose not to pay you back and hoped to get credit for the gift and then continue to avoid paying you back. They deserve to be publicly named and shamed. Not including their name on the card is the bare minimum you should have done.
TeddingtonMerson − NTA— no pay, no name. Everyone knows this rule and you reminded them.
TheGoodJeans − NTA. If they got money to play, they got money to pay. They are simply living with the consequences of their actions. At this point, it’s not even about trust or money. It’s about respect. If they are spending money on pokemon cards and such, then they didn’t respect the fact that they owed you money.
Would you still include those friends in the birthday celebration, or would you feel it’s unfair if they didn’t contribute? How do you think group gifts should be handled in situations like this? Share your thoughts below!
