AITAH for kicking out my daughter’s husband despite her begging me not to?
One Reddit user found themselves in a difficult position after deciding to step in and protect their daughter from her husband’s escalating behavior. After a year of noticing his verbal and emotional abuse towards her, the situation turned physical when he threw an object in her direction during a heated argument.
Despite the daughter’s pleas to keep him around, the parent made the decision to kick him out for her safety. Now, the daughter is upset, feeling her parent made her husband “homeless.” Was this parent justified in their decision, or should they have handled it differently? Read the full story below.
‘ AITAH for kicking out my daughter’s husband despite her begging me not to?’
My daughter (22F)’s husband (23M) had been living with us for almost a year now (from the beginning of their marriage). They were new college graduates so it was supposed to be temporary, giving them a few years to establish their careers.
Ever since he started living with us, I started to realize how awful he is towards her. She always tells me to not intervene because it’s not my business. But tonight, I had no choice but to intervene. It’s normally just name calling and ultimatums but it had escalated to him throwing things.
They were arguing upstairs like they often do and the next thing I knew, he grabbed an empty vase and threw it at her direction but missed. I then told him to get out. My daughter tried to intervene begging me to not do that but I had no choice. Now she is angry at me because I made her husband homeless.
See what others had to share with OP:
4me2knowit − He made himself homeless
NOLACenturion − He’s a d**k. She is an adult ( by definition anyway) and can decide to follow him or not. But you don’t have to subsidize his bad behavior with your daughter.. Adios to him.
CompetitiveAffect732 − NTA You should call the cops and report the broken property. Not for property sake but so there’s a record of the violent action
Realistic-Battle-429 − NTA. You did what any parent should protect your daughter from a toxic relationship, even if she doesn’t get it right now!
AylenEnergy − You absolutely made the right choice by kicking out your daughter’s husband, especially given the escalation of his a**sive behavior. Witnessing someone you love being threatened, even if it’s not physical harm in that moment, is incredibly distressing, and you acted to protect her.
It’s understandable that your daughter is angry; she’s likely feeling conflicted between her loyalty to her husband and her love for you. However, her husband’s actions are a serious red flag, and you intervened because you care about her well-being.
Encourage your daughter to reflect on the situation and recognize that she deserves to be in a relationship free from abuse and intimidation. It might be helpful for her to talk to someone who can provide support, like a therapist or counselor, to work through her feelings about this relationship.
Remind her that your priority is her safety and happiness. While the immediate aftermath might be difficult, you did what any parent would do when faced with a potentially harmful situation. Your support will be vital for her moving forward.
AngelofSol80 − NTA – Your house, your rules, and you found his behavior to be unacceptable, so he had to go. Good thing you did and hopefully she won’t follow after him, as him throwing things is a**sive, it’s just a matter of time before he actually hits her with something or moves on to just hitting her.
Doesn’t matter if it’s your stuff or there’s as that doesn’t change the fact it’s a**sive, but if it is your stuff he’s throwing at her it’s even more disrespectful. I hope she can get some distance, maybe some counseling while he’s out.
Might see about getting her the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. It might help her see that his behavior is a**sive, and maybe recognize that other things he may do are too.
Gold_Particular_1587 − My husband and I did the same thing to my ex-son in law. He grabbed our daughter by the arm while yelling 2 inches from her face. We then got a police report and he was arrested. Call the police. This is domestic violence.
Life-Net5457 − NTAH. You had every right to protect your daughter, especially when things escalated to him throwing things. Her safety comes first, and if he’s being a**sive, kicking him out was the right call, even if she’s upset now.
FluffeeFl − Find the nearest domestic abuse shelter. Ask your daughter to go to one group session and Listen! From one survivor to one just now going through that, I understand how she is feeling. I hope she learns that he is the issue, not her.
artic_fox-wolf1984 − NTA – You should have called the cops, though. Then there’d be a paper trail of his abuse and destruction of personal property. Let her be angry, hopefully she’ll see what’s wrong with her marriage. Ask her if she’ll keep making excuses for him when it’s her being thrown into walls instead of glass.
Do you think the parent was right to step in and protect their daughter, or should they have respected her wishes to handle the situation on her own? How would you approach a similar situation with a loved one? Share your thoughts below!
