AITAH for refusing to take my niece trick or treating even though my family is furious ?
A Reddit user shared their dilemma about being expected to take their 6-year-old niece trick-or-treating after her older sister made last-minute plans for an adult Halloween party. Although the user loves her niece, she’s frustrated with always being the go-to babysitter whenever her sister wants a break.
When she refused, reminding her family that she already had plans with friends, they called her selfish and accused her of not being supportive. Now, she’s torn between her own needs and her family’s expectations. Read the full story below…
‘ AITAH for refusing to take my niece trick or treating even though my family is furious ?’
So I (19F) feel like I might be the a**hole, but I need some outside perspective because my family is seriously blowing up over this.
For context, I live at home while going to college part-time and working. My older sister, “Emily” (26F), has a 6-year-old daughter, “Lily.”
I love Lily, she’s great, but Emily has a habit of dumping her on me last-minute whenever she wants a break. This has been happening for years now, and no one in the family really questions it because, you know, “family helps family.”
So, a few days ago, Emily told me she couldn’t take Lily trick-or-treating this year because she and her boyfriend were going to some adult Halloween party. She just assumed I’d do it.
I had already made plans with my friends to go out to a haunted house and watch horror movies, something we’ve been planning for weeks. I told her no, that she should either take her daughter or figure something else out because I wasn’t available.
Well, Emily freaked out, saying I was being s**fish and that Lily would be heartbroken if she didn’t go. My mom backed her up, saying I should “step up as an aunt” because Lily looks up to me.
I tried explaining that I’m not a built-in babysitter and that I already had plans, but now my whole family is treating me like I’m some kind of monster for prioritizing my own life over my niece’s Halloween.
I feel guilty because I know Lily is excited about it, but I don’t think it’s fair that I’m expected to drop everything every time my sister needs a break. So, AITA for refusing to take her trick-or-treating, or am I really being s**fish like my family says?.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
wildsso1213 − Definitely not idk who in their right mind would think it’s okay to d**p her on you
MJCuddle − NTA. Tell your parents to take her. Time to set some clear boundaries.. Some suggestions on responses: “You are choosing to go to a party vs taking her out.
If she’s disappointed because of that choice thats YOUR problem not mine.” “Not my kid. Not my responsibility. I am 19 and child free. I am going to enjoy it.” “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.”
bythebrook88 − but now my whole family is treating me like I’m some kind of monster for prioritizing my own life over my niece’s Halloween. Why can’t any of *your family* take Lily? Are they prioritising *their* lives over your niece’s Halloween? See how easy it is to turn the question back on them?
XxN-o-u-rxX − You’re not the A-hole! You’ve got your own plans and it’s unfair for your sister to just assume you’ll drop everything for her. Being a good aunt doesn’t mean being a free babysitter all the time.
TheDarkSide46 − ” Emily told me she couldn’t take Lily trick-or-treating this year because she and her boyfriend were going to some adult Halloween party. “
Tell Emily & your family that SHE decided to have a child & its on her to look after that child until 18 that means SHE misses out on parties ect NOT ME ive done more than enough babysitting & in not changing my plans that have been set for weeks so SHE can go party , NTA
Mishy162 − NTA. But make sure you leave for your plans early or spend the day with a friend before going to your plans because it sounds like none of your family respect the fact you already have plans and if you are home you will find yourself alone with your niece.
Lindensorry − NTA. I’d leave your house early on Halloween 🎃 because both your mom and sister will d**p your niece on you. I mean, leave early in the morning or, better yet, leave on the 30th.
angelicak92 − “You’re her mother, act like it and look after your own kid”. Sometimes you need to be really blunt. Nta
Queasy-Disaster8002 − NTA. I (55M) raised 5 kids. Loved, loved, loved taking them ToT’ing. They were so excited, we all dressed up. The joy of seeing a kid happy and excited is a 11 out of 10 memory.
So quickly they got old enough to go on their own and didn’t want a parent to tag along. Your sister seems all about her if she would pass that up for a ‘regular date’ she could have any other night.
More importantly as the Aunt, you are a special relationship like a guest should be treated, not as hired help. You get to pick the times and events you participate in with your neice as she should want to foster your relationship with her daughter, not force obligations on you.
RIhawk − NTA- my brother has 6 kids and has never asked me to take care of them. They’re using you and you get nothing in return. Don’t get me wrong you get to spend time with your niece, but that should be on your terms.
Do you think the user is justified in setting boundaries, or should she step up as an aunt for Halloween? How would you handle family expectations versus personal plans? Share your thoughts below!
