AITA because I pay for a maid to clean the house before I come home??

A Reddit user who works out of town recently decided to hire a maid to handle the cleaning before he comes home, since his wife and teenage kids don’t keep up with the housework while he’s away.

Despite having previously set up an arrangement where he maintains the house during his time off, his wife now feels he’s “cheating” by outsourcing the cleaning instead of handling it himself.

This new arrangement also means his teens pay for their own bills, which his wife has since covered out of her own money. Now he’s questioning if his approach was fair. Read the story below.

‘ AITA because I pay for a maid to clean the house before I come home? ?’

I work out of town and my wife stays home with our two teen kids. When I’m home I take care of the housework to give my wife a break.
The kids are supposed to help around the house in return for me paying for their phones and stuff. My wife chooses not to enforce that while I’m gone.

Our income is split thusly. We pay all our bills. Including the kids phones. We set aside money for retire, vacations, emergencies, etc. What is left over is split evenly between her and I. So we each have money for fun stuff separately.

For the last eight months or so she has made very little effort to keep the house clean while I’m gone. But she gets very upset if I just let it stay messy when I’m home. She says that the kids are too busy with extracurricular activities and their jobs to help and that she gets o**rwhelmed.

She does not work. But kids are in high school. I bought them a car and I pay for everything except fuel. They are responsible for getting themselves to extracurriculars and whatever else they want to do. I told her that it wasn’t fair for me to have to clean up four weeks of mess on my two weeks off.

That she should be forcing the kids to do their part.. She says it’s too hard. Two shifts ago I told the kids I was done paying for their phones and car bills. The car was paid for cash so there isn’t a loan or anything. Just insurance, registration, maintenance, that stuff.

I took the money and I pay for a maid to come and clean up the day before I get home. That way I can just maintain it until I leave. My wife is mad that the kids have to pay their own bills, and that I’m “cheating” by paying someone else to do my chores. I’m not. I’m paying someone to do their’s.

I found out she’s been giving the kids money out of her share to pay their bills. She is now mad that I have money for my hobbies but she does not. I don’t really care. She needs to do her part and clean up and parent.. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

tinyd71 −  If you don’t want to return to a messy home, that seems reasonable. If no one else is going to ensure that the home you return to isn’t messy, it sounds like you’ve found a workable solution.

Assuming you gave your kids a heads up that their free ride was coming to an end, giving them an opportunity to step up their game (and they then didn’t!), your solution (to me) is creative and effective.. NTA

NoRazzmatazz564 −  NTA. In fact it’s a great solution. If the kids want the money they can clean instead, if your wife wants the money she can get them to and clean as well. Your solution gets you a clean house and keeps them able to control their part of finance and cleaning.. F%\^$ Brilliant!

No_Lavishness_3206 −  NTA. She chooses not to do the work. She chooses not to make your kids do chores. She chooses to pay them to do nothing. It’s all on her. 

sickofdriving007 −  NTA, your wife doesn’t work so what does she do all day? You have a wife problem.

Kukka63 −  NTA, paying for a maid to clean is an excellent idea since your wife is unbelievably lazy. What on earth does she do all day????? She also sets such a bad example to your children by doing nothing and expecting you to sort everything out.

pickled-chickens −  What does your wife do all day?

peachypapayas −  I’m surprised your respect for her hasn’t gone through the floor. She’s been barely cleaning or parenting for almost a year. NTA.

You should point blank ask her to get a job so you can spend the next eight months moaning about how cleaning is hard and the kids hate chores. Perhaps that will make her understand how useless, unfair and inconsiderate she’s being.

Illustrious-Ebb5206 −  Dude. You don’t have a wife. You have 3 housemates who don’t do their share.

Celtic_Dragonfly17 −  Maybe it is time she get a job. There is no reason she needs to not work as she is not doing anything but enabling your kids.

Agitated-Stress870 −  INFO: you said that you do the housecleaning when you’re home to “give your wife a break.” What are you giving her a break from if she doesn’t work, doesn’t parent, and doesn’t clean?

Was hiring a maid the right call to balance the workload, or should he be tackling this differently? Would it be fair to continue the arrangement and make the teens responsible for their own bills, or does he owe his family more involvement in household tasks? Share your thoughts below!