AITA for telling my mother that very few people attended her recent party because she has become an insufferable political fanatic?

A Reddit user recently confronted his mother, who has become intensely vocal about her political beliefs, affecting her relationships with friends and family. Known for her lively gatherings, she was disappointed by the low attendance at her recent birthday party, where she overspent on food and decorations.

After hearing her complaints, the user told her that many people feel uncomfortable around her due to her intense political behavior. His mother was upset, feeling betrayed that he hadn’t warned her in advance about potential absences, and claims he should have encouraged people to overlook political differences. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for telling my mother that very few people attended her recent party because she has become an insufferable political fanatic?’

I’m not going to state the candidate’s name because people may claim the post is political rage bait when it isn’t. To put it mildly, my mother has become a d**che since endorsing this candidate. She’s been on Facebook, arguing and attacking friends (some now former) and family members who disagree with her, and proudly displaying endorsement signs in her yard.

Her intensity has only grown as election season closes in. Family gatherings have become tense, as many people no longer feel comfortable around her, nervous she’ll launch into a political rant unprovoked. My mother has a decent sized home and yard that can comfortably host its fair share. Her parties are usually good turnouts.

But at her recent birthday party, fewer people showed up than she anticipated. She over-purchased food, supplies, and alcohol, and has been complaining about the expenses ever since & complaining about feeling unloved. I finally had enough of the self-pity and told her I wasn’t surprised by the turnout.

People didn’t show up because she prioritizes her love for this candidate over actual people in her personal life, and it’s become exhausting to experience for everyone. She thought I was being dramatic. I told her that three people literally texted me to ask if she’d be talking about the candidate at the party, and said they wouldn’t come if so.

The saddest part was that I honestly couldn’t confirm that she would keep the peace. There’s no holding her back. She won’t maintain harmony by simply avoiding the topic, even though she’s been asked to on multiple occasions.

She got annoyed and insisted that people can agree to disagree on politics, and that it’s perfectly fine to have differing views with loved ones. In the end, you should still be able to come together. I told her that’s not really the case.

People can remain cool if they disagree on trivial things like pizza toppings, but not on something this significant— especially when you go attacking them online (she claims her online arguments are just healthy debates). I added that her behavior has been both embarrassing and anxiety-inducing when she turns enjoyable gatherings into political battlegrounds.

Now she thinks I’m the a**hole for thinking people are justified in “turning their backs on her over politics”, and that I conspired against her. She believes that by telling her three people texted me about potentially not coming, I knew in advance that so many people wouldn’t show up and should have warned her.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

PeanutFunny093 −  She’s experiencing the natural consequences of her actions, and you’re just pointing that out. NTA.

tiffowambui −  NTA – Politics may be her new personality, but it’s not everyone’s party vibe. When the guest list gets shorter than her Facebook arguments, maybe it’s time to rethink the approach.

chez2202 −  NTA.. One line struck me in your post. She claims her online arguments are just healthy debates. If they were then people would have turned up to her party. That’s all you need to point out to her.

Cute-Profession9983 −  NTA It’s one thing to have differing opinions and healthy debate, but I think all reasonable folks are fed up with all the loud, aggressive AHs who do nothing but make things worse and more divisive

aroundincircles −  My parents and I disagree strongly on politics, they try to inject it into every conversation. I’ve literally just hung up on my mom when she’s starts in. I’ve told her she’s never going to convince me, and that all she’s doing is reducing her chance of spending time with her grand children.

That has helped. NTA. Politics have become too divisive, and people need to calm the f**k down. Tell your mom she needs to take a break from social media for a while. it will do her some good.

Fredredphooey −  NTA. Remind your mom that when people agree to disagree, that they are also agreeing **not to talk about it** anymore. She doesn’t respect people’s requests not to talk about politics and that’s what is driving people away. 

AdAccomplished6870 −  One candidate, won’t mention who, is difficult to defend objectively, so their supporters go over the top with vitriolic attacks and reasonless adulation. I can no long be around those people, as I will 100% rise to the bait every time.

I have lost a few friends over the past three elections, and I am OK with the ones I have lost. You mother needs help. She is in a radicalizing echo chamber, and she has stopped listening to reason. She has become ‘that guy’, the one that everyone slowly leaves the room they enter.

ProfessionSanity −  NTA. I’d ask her what she would do if a friend of hers went off about their religion every time they spoke, ruining every event and get together. An old adage is still true: NEVER talk about politics or religion in mixed company. It’s a good way to lose friends and family.

sylbug −  If you disagree on things like bodily autonomy or bigotry then that’s not a political dispute, it’s incompatible values. You can’t be okay with your family members being ostracized and abused and denied medical care and killed and still claim to love them.She’s foolish if she thinks that can be overlooked.

LankyGuitar6528 −  NTA. I have a neighbor who is big into some weird-ass protein shakes. Multi level stuff. She goes to events in other cities for rah rah meetings on how awesome these shakes are. She won’t leave anybody alone about this crap. A hard NO won’t stop her – nothing will. Now nobody talks to her. With politics it’s a million times worse and far more divisive.

Do you think the user was justified in explaining why people didn’t show up, or should he have handled it differently? How would you approach a loved one whose political enthusiasm is affecting relationships? Share your thoughts below!