AITA for surprising my wife with food she mentioned wanting, but not getting exactly what she expected?

A Redditor wanted to surprise his wife after she expressed a desire to try a Krabby Patty burger and a pineapple Frosty from Wendy’s. On his way home from work, he picked up the items, placing the burger in the fridge and the Frosty in the freezer to keep them fresh.

However, when his wife returned home and discovered the cold burger, she was upset that it wasn’t fresh and that he hadn’t included fries. Their discussion turned sour as she felt he hadn’t truly listened to her request. Now, the user is questioning whether his efforts were unappreciated. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for surprising my wife with food she mentioned wanting, but not getting exactly what she expected?’

My wife has mentioned in the past that she wanted to try the Krabby Patty burger and a pineapple Frosty from Wendy’s. On my way home from work, I decided to surprise her. I picked up a Krabby Patty burger, a chicken sandwich for myself, and two pineapple Frostys.

I knew she was about an hour away, so I told her I had a surprise waiting for her when she got home. To keep the food fresh, I put her burger in the fridge and the Frosty in the freezer. I even ordered the burger without lettuce, thinking I could avoid it getting soggy, and we have lettuce at home that we could add fresh.

When she got home, she was excited about the Frosty and asked, “Is there a Krabby Patty burger too?” I told her to check the fridge, and that’s when things went downhill. She got upset because the burger was cold and I didn’t get fries.

She said that real “justice” would have been me waiting for her to come home so we could both get fresh food together, or at least putting my food in the fridge too, so we’d both be eating cold food.

She accused me of always expecting grand thanks for doing gestures that aren’t as big as I think they are and said I didn’t listen to her, since she wanted the full meal, not just the burger and Frosty. She also said she’s not going to pretend to be grateful for something that wasn’t what she asked for. I was just trying to do something nice, and now I feel like my gesture was totally unappreciated. AITA?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Cultural_Section_862 −  What gesture? you picked up fast food. Don’t act like you slaved away in that drive thru. not to mention leftover fast food is n**ty. You didn’t even wait to share the meal with her ffs. yea YTA

Peony-Pony −  I don’t think you’re an a**hole but in all fairness, who wants to eat a cold, hour old fast food hamburger. It sounds kind of gross.

pandaritosupreme −  YTA. It’s all a bit thoughtless and insensitive. You could have waited until she got home and took a little trip together to Wendy’s and on the way had a little conversation about how your days went and then tried the food together when it was hot and fresh. These tiny shared experiences together are what accumulate into a relationship that feels satisfying and connected.

Instead you treated yourself to hot fresh food. She got NO shared experience with you; all she got was a cold s**tty novelty fast food burger and a frosty that was messed up because it was frozen. I don’t believe for one second you would buy yourself fast food and then immediately stick it in the fridge for you to eat later – why would you think that would be acceptable to her?

I get the impression that you wanted to be “thoughtful” with the least amount of inconvenience or effort possible to yourself; because it would have been so easy just to wait and go together. And if that wasn’t the intent, then you gotta start working on building the empathy that allows you to see that nobody likes cold stale ass burgers.

FishScrumptious −  I dunno, I would think something was super pissed at me if they got me a fridge-burger. Yuck! If you’re not an a**hole, you’re certainly clueless.

Bright_Temporary_818 −  Sounds like there are deeper issues going on here you may be ignoring. ….”and said I didn’t listen to her…”
“She accused me of always expecting grand thanks…” I mean dude, a cold burger from a fast-food chain? eek. Double strike-out considering she explicitly stated her desire. Your wife sounds honest and blunt, perhaps work on improving your listening skills.

LetsGetsThisPartyOn −  YTA. Who makes a big deal about getting fast food WHEN THEY ARE HUNGRY, eating their food and putting a cold burger in the fridge. Leftover fast food is garbage. I mean fast food is literally garbage and chemicals. Cold fast food is worse.

Who makes a big surprise out of a hour old burger and frozen drink that is undrinkable until it defrosts. You seem like the man who babysits their kids and expects a thank you for vacuuming once a month. Edit – baby sits. Not something dog. Oops

[Reddit User] −  Surprise! A ruined version of something you were excited to try. It’s the thought that counts, so put some thought into it.

Puzzleheaded_Mix4160 −  “Hey babe, I got a surprise for you!” “Wait, what do you mean you don’t want a cold, limp burger and a separated, rock-hard frozen frosty? I got you what you wanted! Well no, I didn’t wait for you.

Why would I want my food to get cold and my frosty to lose its intended texture? Shouldn’t you be more appreciative of my gesture, getting you a gross version of what you wanted while I ate hot food???” Bro, come on. YTA. If someone wants something, it’s only a nice gesture if you get them what they actually want.

Giving someone a s**t version of what they desire isn’t a sweet surprise— if I say I’ve been wanting to buy myself a book, I’m not gonna be falling over myself in gratitude when someone magnanimously gifts me a wavy-ass copy that they dropped in a puddle.

You’re forcing the receiver to accept a substandard version of what they wanted and then deeming them rude for being upset about the reduced quality. Let’s say you’ve been dreaming about a nice watch and your wife says she bought you what you’ve been wanting, then hands over an obvious and poorly made knock-off.

You’d be understandably annoyed because the gift you received isn’t what you asked for, and now you have the frustrating burden of either pretending to be grateful for a half-assed gesture or being honest and then being labeled a d**k for your “lack of gratitude”. It’s only a nice surprise on the surface, it actually shows inconsideration.

Also I don’t know a single person who wants an hour old, refrozen burger. Hell, my 88 year old grandmother will freeze a *single slice of bread* (just the heel, to boot!) because her Great Depression style rearing refuses to let her waste anything, and even she doesn’t freeze drive thru burgers. Edit: Wow, I’ve never gotten an award before! Thanks, generous Redditor! 🙂

insomniacmomof3 −  YTA. You should have waited until she was near home to grab it for both of you. You ate hot food and left cold food for her, which makes it seem that you were really thinking of yourself.

BaileyAuguste −  Soft YTA cuz expectations lead to disappointment. You said there was a surprise, and she got excited. Then she got gross, cold food, alone, instead of an exciting surprise. I would have trouble hiding my disappointment from my partner if they did this to me.

Was the user wrong for not providing the full meal as his wife expected, or was he right to surprise her with what he thought was a thoughtful gesture? How would you approach a situation like this in your own relationship? Share your thoughts below!