AITAH for telling my cheating wife a day before our daughter’s graduation that I would be divorcing her?

A Reddit user faced a difficult decision regarding his marriage, which had been marred by infidelity six years prior. After reconciling and enjoying a stable relationship for several years, lingering feelings of betrayal resurfaced, prompting the user to reconsider his commitment.Just a day before their daughter’s graduation, he informed his wife that he would be filing for divorce.

While the graduation day went well, the user’s daughter sensed tension and was upset when she later learned about the divorce. The user now grapples with whether he was in the wrong for timing his announcement so close to this significant event. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for telling my cheating wife a day before our daughter’s graduation that I would be divorcing her?’

My wife and I have been married for 20 years and we have a daughter who’s 18. She graduated high school a few months ago. Around 6 years ago, I found out that my wife was cheating on me and having an affair which lasted for a couple of months.

I really wanted to divorce, but my wife was really remorseful, she quit her job, she started going to therapy, she promised all reconciliation steps I asked for. Ultimately I did decide to stay with my wife for her sake and for our family’s sake too.

For around 5 years, everything was actually going great, and we had date nights, romantic vacations, and we really loved each other. However, on the 6th year, the whole thing resurfaced back on my mind, and I just couldn’t get my mind off it. I finally made my decision after a particular line from my sister struck a cord with me.

She said would you really want use the gift of life and spend it with someone who had betrayed you so badly? She told me this a couple of days before my daughter’s graduation and that’s when I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore.

A day before my daughter’s graduation, I informed my wife of my decision and told her that I would be filing for divorce soon. My wife was shocked, and she cried a lot and told me she would do anything but I told her that my decision was final.

My daughter’s graduation in itself was great, and I was really proud of my daughter. And my wife seemed happy too, but my daughter could sense something was wrong and asked me why her mom seemed down and trying to f**e a smile. I told her not to worry about it and to just enjoy the day.

The next day however, I told my daughter I would be filing for divorce, and my daughter seemed shocked. She said how I could do this to her mom before graduation and that’s why her mom couldn’t enjoy the graduation. I told her it’s none of her business, but we’ll both always love her regardless. My wife and I are now going through divorce proceedings.. AITAH?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

RadiantCherry0 −  get it’s tough, but the timing was terrible. Your daughter deserves joyful memories, not family chaos on her graduation day. She’ll remember this forever.

graveytrane −  You are absolutely within your right to end your relationship for whatever reason you have. That doesn’t make you an a**hole.
What does make you an absolute a**hole is how you chose to do it, your complete lack of empathy and thought about timing your announcement. Even if just for the sake of your daughter.

Your wife ruined your relationship 6 years ago, you ruined yours daughter’s high school graduation day. She’s not going to ever graduate from high school again, you forever tainted this moment for her. Like others have said, you waited 6 years already, what would another few days have been? This was completely s**fish, no consideration for anyone else.

CervezaMePlease −  I would assume that you were going for being the a**hole with that timing. You didn’t have to do that to your daughter. Edit* had to update as the responses are getting heavily against OP. I mean, the little d**k/go sleep with your sister/I hope your ex takes everything from you and alimony is overly rough.

I don’t believe OP is an a**hole for divorcing his wife. He tried to live with her infidelity but couldn’t come to terms with it. He should divorce her Your timing at the expense of your daughter = a**hole. Divorcing after failing to come to terms with your partners past infidelity – NTA

SJAmazon −  I smell a rage-baiter. Profile created today.

HairyBBWEnjoyer −  So you waited six years already but you just HAD to tell her on that day? YTA. It’s totally reasonable to want to divorce your wife for being unfaithful but you picked the worst day possible to do it. Do you hate your daughter or something?

Funny-Wafer1450 −  YTA. You waited six years. You could have waited a few more days. Your daughter will not forget this.

YouAccording3896 −  Definitely YTA. If you really thought it was none of your daughter’s business, you should have waited until after graduation. You ruined your daughter’s graduation and any joy your wife might have had at the event. You have every right to want a divorce, but you could have waited to talk about it until after graduation.

Sorry-Analysis8628 −  YTA. What the f**k is wrong with you? Forget, for a moment, that you’re bringing this up years later, after allegedly reconciling. Forget, also, the impact it’ll have on your wife. What about your daughter? You ruined HER graduation. Jesus. You waited six years.

You couldn’t wait a few more days to drop this massive bomb on your wife so your daughter could actually enjoy her own graduation without worrying about why her mom was so upset?

Also, it’s “none of her business” that her parents are getting divorced? That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve read today, and I’m commenting on a Reddit post right now.

sunsetscampi −  YTA. You could have waited a couple of days. This isn’t as though you found out the day before and had an emotional reaction, you’d had six years to reflect on it and come to this conclusion, you should have realised it would have a negative impact on your daughter’s graduation.

On top of that, YTA for telling your daughter it’s none of her business when *her parents* are getting divorced and you told her mum *the day before her graduation*. You made the decision to overshadow your daughter’s important day by sharing this information just before, it’s entirely your daughter’s business.

Relationships are fragile things and if the trust was damaged beyond repair for you then you’re well within your rights to end things, but you can’t be surprised your daughter is upset you dropped this major, life-changing decision on the family the day before an event that was supposed to be about her achievements.

DogTheBotHunter −  Of course YTA. You waited until one of the most important days in your daughter’s life so far to tell your wife you’re leaving her. That’s not what good men or good fathers do.

Do you think the user was wrong for telling his wife about the divorce just before their daughter’s graduation, or was it necessary to express his feelings at that moment? How would you handle a similar situation regarding family and personal decisions? Share your thoughts below!