AITA for telling my mom it’s time to lawyer up?

A Redditor finds himself caught in a family feud after his mother, who recently moved in with him to avoid medical bankruptcy, and his brother took it upon themselves to repaint his living room without permission.

The paint job was poorly done and damaged the original work, leading his wife to pursue legal action against them. Now, with tensions running high and an eviction notice served, he grapples with the fallout of standing by his wife while his mother insists on her rights in the situation.

‘ AITA for telling my mom it’s time to lawyer up?’

My mom moved in with after she sold her home to avoid medical bankruptcy. Things have been rocky because my mom was always my house my rules type of person. I have an older brother Scott who helped my mom with home repairs but Scott and my wife do not get along so he doesn’t come over much.

Me and my wife went away for a weekend getaway and Scott and my mom repainted our living room white. It was navy with built in bookcases and pantry. The job was done so s**tty and the original paint job with the bookcase cost us thousands to remodel.

My wife started crying and my mom and brother said they wanted to brighten the place up for my mom. I didn’t know this at the time but my wife called my SIL (my wife’s brother wife, who is a lawyer) and the contractor who originally did the work on our living room remodel.

My wife is getting ready to press suit against my mother and Scott and has already handed my mom legal eviction notice. It’s deserved and I back it 100% because this paint job was done so s**tty and without the home owners permission.

My mom is saying with an eviction for property damage she will not be able to find a place and my wife needs to stop. My wife has installed cameras in the home and is getting the court orders in place for my mom and brother. My wife’s family is paying for this and at this point I’m afraid to say s**t because I feel like if I protest too much the big divorce will come and with my wife’s SIL as a lawyer I don’t want to mess with the situation because it’s a s**t show.

My and brother told me my mom has rights and I said I guess it’s time for my mom to lawyer up on her dime because I’m not touching this and it’s my wife’s lawyers pushing things through (I did sign off on the lawsuit and possible criminal charges coming) My mom said she would contest the eviction and I need to man up and make my wife do the right thing and drop the eviction and lawsuit.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

ExternalSignal2770 −  NTA for telling your mom to lawyer up, YTA for not immediately demanding your mom and brother fix the problem, politely asking your mom to move out, and otherwise defending your wife against your s**tty family.

Apprehensive_War9612 −  ESH except your wife.
– your mother is completely outrageous. What she did is we beyond what tenant, guest, or in law should do.

– your brother is a complete m**on. He knew you were out of town and never stopped to think that maybe you wouldn’t want the home you remodeled painted? Your mom is concerned about her.

– you have been entirely too neutral. There is no staying out of this. Your wife is going so ballistic and so extreme because **you** are not taking a stand. You should’ve immediately when you walked into your home and your wife began to cry. tell your mother to pack her s**t and get the hell out.

If your mother does not want an eviction with property damage on her record, I suggest she pack her s**t and get the hell out of your house. That is the only way to resolve this. If she insist on trying to fight it then I guess she’ll have to deal with the record .

ironchef8000 −  My brother told me my mom has rights. She does. But you know who else has rights? The homeowner, who has the right to decorate their house and not have to worry about visitors intentionally damaging the decor. NTA.
P.S. criminal charges for what, exactly? I’m legit curious because I struggle to imagine what would stuck in this situation.

hubertburnette −  YTA for being spineless. Clearly, you did nothing when you discovered that your mother and brother had done what amounted to thousands of dollars worth of damage. Your wife doesn’t “get along” with your brother because he’s an AH (and so is your mother). I have zero sympathy for you, your mother, or your brother.

DoIwantToKnow6417 −  YTA for telling your mom to lawyer up, AGAINST your WIFE!
YTA for not telling your mom to pay the original painter to paint it BACK.

YTA for not telling your brother off for saying your mom has rights while staying as a guest in YOUR house.. YTA for not KICKING your mom out.
YTA for keeping quiet and letting your wife be the bad guy in this situation.. YTA for being a BAD HUSBAND.
Your mom can move in with your brother.. YTA.

rockology_adam −  INFO: did you actually tell your mom to lawyer up? Have you done anything here except stay out of it? Because according to your story, it’s your wife and her family pushing everything, and you are doing your best not to say anything to anyone.

I’m still going to say YTA, though, because you really do need to pick a side here. Either your mother is wrong or your wife is wrong (frankly, it’s your mother) and you need to support one side or the other for whatever reason works for you.

Sweetcilantro −  nta. Sure your mom has rights, but as a “tenant” those don’t include painting without the landlords permission. Your mom commited property damage, your wife reacted accordingly. Your brother probably should have thought.

“hmmm why is mom purposefully wanting to do this when no one is home to stop her maybe I should call my sibling to check on this painting before I do it”. Instead He was like.

“welp I know they paid and had this professionally done but i’m gonna slather on some paint and hope for the best cause mom told me so and is having me do it when the home owners can’t say no so she MUST have gotten permission!”

SnooBunnies7461 −  YTA because you choose not to get involved in all this instead of backing your wife. Breaking it down; your mother and brother painted the living room without permission and waited until you and your wife were gone to do it. Instead of telling them they needed to hire someone to fix it you left it to your wife to be the bad guy in all this.

Your wife is 100% correct to evict your mother and is doing so legally. Your mother has no more rights to live there then a stranger who is renting a room. Good luck to her finding somewhere else to live after an eviction is on her records.

applebum8807 −  YTA. I don’t understand why you’re being so neutral tbh. You should be actively supporting your wife and take action yourself.

Realistic_Head4279 −  As awful as this situation sounds because this is not how families should operate, YTA for not supporting your wife 100% and standing up for her desires/rights in her home. Apparently, your mother and brother have felt e**itled to come into your home and sneakily remodel when you were away and without your permission. In what universe is this okay?

Your mother sounds like she thinks she runs the show at your home. I assume she has no respect for your wife or you. How can you allow this? I really feel for your wife.

Resorting to legal actions is, of course, unfortunate. Sounds to me though that maybe your wife sees this as her only avenue to reclaim her home and her life. It’s past time that you support your wife in this as what your mother is doing is totally wrong and unacceptable.

If your mother doesn’t want an eviction on her record, then she needs to move out so that you and your wife can then drop the suit. Your mother is NOT the victim here, your wife is. You need to find your backbone and support the woman you pledged to love and honor. Yes, you are overdue to man up. Your wife should never have been put in this position. YTA for allowing it to happen and continue.