AITA for asking my roommate to flush her toilet paper and “disrespecting her culture”??

A Redditor recently faced an unexpected issue with their college roommate after noticing a foul odor in their shared bathroom. After some investigation, they discovered that their roommate was discarding used toilet paper in the bathroom trashcan instead of flushing it, citing it as a cultural practice.

While the Redditor respectfully asked if she could start flushing the toilet paper to avoid the odor, the roommate accused them of being insensitive to her heritage. Now, the Redditor is wondering if they overstepped by asking. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for asking my roommate to flush her toilet paper and “disrespecting her culture”??’

To give some backstory, I (19F, white) have been living with my college roommate (19F, Hispanic) for the past two years. Last year, our dorm building only had community bathrooms, so I was completely unaware of her bathroom habits as we did not share this space.

Fast forward to the current school year, we now have our own apartment where the two of us share a bathroom. After about a week and a half of living together, I started to notice a foul odor coming from our bathroom. I spent hours scrubbing the shower, sink, toilet, floor, and counters, but the smell did not go away.

I convinced myself that it must have been the sink releasing some trapped gas from the pipes or something. I submitted a work order to have the drain looked at and called it a day. Another week goes by and the smell is almost unbearable.

Maintenance still hasn’t come, so I open the cupboard underneath the sink to try and have a look for myself. When I open the door, my nose is violated by an odor one can only describe as a porta-potty that has been sitting in full sun on the hottest day in July.

I now realize where the stench is coming from as my eyes fall onto the trash can underneath the sink that is completely overflown with brown and yellow stained toilet paper. I walk directly over to my roommate’s bedroom and confront her about this.

I ask why she has been throwing her used toilet paper into our trash can rather than flushing it down the toilet. She tells me that it is “Mexican culture” and I wouldn’t understand. I have never heard of this in my life so I continue to question her about it.

She tells me that everyone in Mexico throws their used toilet paper in the trash because the septic systems there aren’t designed to withstand toilet paper being flushed down them.

I believe myself to be a very understanding person but this is just completely bizarre to me because my roommate has lived in the USA her entire life and has never even been to Mexico. I asked her if she wouldn’t mind flushing her toilet paper in our apartment due to the horrific stench that had built up over the first few weeks.

She tells me that this is a part of her culture and she doesn’t appreciate the fact that I am not respecting it. She has been acting extremely standoffish and rude towards me since our conversation and I don’t know what do do. AITA for asking her to flush her toilet paper?

See what others had to share with OP:

Fearless_Panic_6999 −  lol she is no longer in Mexico she can flush the toilet paper PLEASE!!!

RandomModder05 −  NTA. In places were they have to throw away toilet paper, THEY ACTUALLY THROW IT AWAY. Hiding used toilet paper is some seriously messed up s**t she’s doing. This is either a power play or something more disturbing. I’d be breaking that lease ASAP.

Domonero −  NTA first off you guys have the proper septic systems in the US, so I bet if all those people lived in the US, wouldn’t they gladly flush? She’s acting like it’s day of the dead & you destroyed all the candles on her Ofrenda get out of here with that nonsense.

She’s just upset you’re rightfully grossed out by a gross habit that her family household got her used to due to their foreign household getting them used to it due to the septic system

If she’s still weirded out by it then I would leave the trash in her car and if she gets mad, say your culture brings trash to the d**p since nobody leaves s**t stained napkins in trash cans just radiating in the air

Novel-Vacation-4788 −  NTA I lived in Mexico for a while, as a North American, and was surprised to learn about their toilet paper habits. However, people empty their garbage regularly down there, and it never got to the point of smelling in any bathroom that I was in during my many years in the country.

it’s understandable that she wouldn’t want to change her toilet paper habits, but she hast to understand that stinking up your bathroom with many days worth of used toilet paper is not acceptable. She needs to agree to take the garbage out at least once a day if she’s going to throw her toilet paper in there.

Sea-Talk-203 −  Is this post real? Edit: thanks for the replies, everyone! This has been very educational. It shows how deeply ingrained cultural habits can be, in the face of clear evidence that they’re outdated.

TheGoodJeans −  NTA. This isn’t just about culture. This could get you or someone else sick. She has no business forcing that on anybody. Report her for this. Seriously.

Key-Canary-2513 −  LMAO omg your roommate is out of control. That is not a MEXICAN thing. That is a “the plumbing sucks and cant handle the bare minimum” thing. Wow. WTF. Hahahaha

Major-Cauliflower-76 −  I am Mexican and live in Mexico and while this was true many years ago, it is NOT true anymore, except maybe in some isolated rural areas with very bad plumbing. Part of it not being an issue any more is better plumbing, but mostly because most toilet papers pretty much desolve in water anyway. Either way, if you do that you need to take the trash out every day. That is just gross.

Electrical-Bat-7311 −  Why not just set guidelines on cleaning? She has to empty that garbage can every day. You are never required to empty it. If that part of her culture is important to her, she can do that, but having a clean and pleasant smelling bathroom without used toilet paper is part of your culture. Nta – it’s due to poor plumbing, not any deeper significance .

statslady23 −  Hoarding body fluids is a psychiatric issue, not a cultural issue. She needs a psychiatrist. 

Do you think the Redditor’s request was reasonable, or should they have handled it differently to avoid cultural conflict? How would you navigate a similar situation with a roommate? Share your thoughts!