AITA for threatening to sue both the school and the family of my daughter’s b**ly?

A Reddit user shares their frustration as their adopted 11-year-old daughter experiences severe bullying at school. Despite numerous complaints to the school, which only resulted in empty promises, the bullying escalated to a point where the daughter came home with her hair cut off by classmates while being taunted.

After exhausting all options and feeling that the school was not taking the issue seriously, the user considered legal action against both the school and the bully’s family. This prompted immediate responses from the school and the bully’s parents, but the user remains skeptical about their sincerity.

The family debates whether to proceed with legal action or give the school and parents a chance to rectify the situation. Read the original story below to see how the user navigates this challenging situation.

‘ AITA for threatening to sue both the school and the family of my daughter’s b**ly?’

I 30m and my Husband 33m have a 11-year-old daughter who’s been going through severe b**lying at school. It’s just keep getting worse. It started of with just name calling but has gotten worse over the past few weeks.

Context: She’s adopted, which is something we’ve always been open about and celebrated as part of her story. Recently, some kids found out about her adoption and started saying horrible things – telling her stuff like her birth mother didn’t want her.

They tell her that she’s unwanted tell her she a reject. ( which is not the case her mother loved her very much to the point she literally gave her life so she could be here). If this wasn’t bad enough.

A few days ago, she came home in tears with her hair butchered they’d cut off 2 inch of her ponytail well in class all while taunting her names and laughing at her reaction. They will follow her through the halls to make fun of her on a regular basis now.

Both my husband and I have been in touch with the school about the b**lying more times than I can count. I emailed, called, even showed up in person to speak with teachers and the principal, but all I got were empty promises that they’d “look into it.”

Nothing changed, and my daughter’s mental health has taken a hit she’s anxious, struggling to sleep, and now begs us not to send her to school. Finally, out of frustration and feeling like no one was taking this seriously, we reached out to a lawyer to explore legal action against both the school and the b**ly’s family.

Only when the school and her parents learned we were considering a legal action did they start to act. Suddenly, the school calls me to say they’re moving the b**ly out of my daughter’s class and claim they “had a talk” with her. The girl’s parents reached out too, saying they’d “talk to their daughter” and promised it would stop.

But honestly, I don’t believe them. It feels like they’re all saying this just to get me to back off and avoid the legal consequences. I worry that once the dust settles, things will go right back to how they were, and my daughter will still be dealing with this.

My family thinks I should give the school and parents a chance now that they’re finally taking action, but I feel like it’s all for show. So, AITA for moving forward with legal action even though the school and the b**ly’s parents now claim they’re handling it?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Delicious-Mix-9180 −  NTA one of my a**hole classmates to me and everyone else I was adopted when I was in 6th grade. My parents were waiting to tell us when we were both old enough to understand. My brother wasn’t quite old enough yet.

For me it was a light bulb moment: that’s why there’s no picture of mom pregnant. For a group of kids at school it was a reason to b**ly me. I heard the same things your daughter did and it didn’t bother me. It was how relentless it was.

I developed anxiety and stomach issues due to the b**lying. One day a good portion of everyone in the cafeteria was laughing at me because of what one of the man bullies said. I didn’t want to go to school.

I got sick after lunch nearly every day and had to go home. I had all kinds of doctors appointments to try to find out what was wrong with me medically that was causing the stomach issues.

The school even tried to say my problem was I was upset about being adopted and was making myself sick. No amount of anything my parents did helped. It only got better after the school year ended and we were all in different classes.

Aggressive_Sea_339 −  Yeah sorry. “B**lying” with name calling is one thing. Physical abuse to a child by cutting her hair DURING CLASS is completely different. Why didn’t the teacher do anything? Why did the teacher allow scissors in class?

Why was the b**ly not sent to the principal immediately? Why weren’t you notified immediately? Why did your baby have to come home with fucked up hair (basically a signature of abuse) for you to find out about it?

I’d be suing the school AND that teacher directly for n**lect as well as the kids family for abuse. NTA, dad, protect your kid. Maybe also consider formally pulling her from school, and going to your district with a letter officially stating that the school’s absolutely asinine job of handling an ABUSE (not b**lying anymore.

They could have stopped it at b**lying but let it grow to physical abuse) case is the sole reason why. What happened to all that “zero tolerance for b**lying” s**t that we had when I was in school?? Edit: misnamed OP. Corrected. Thanks!

TeacherWithOpinions −  Teacher here.. DO. NOT. BACK. DOWN. I can promise you that this family is a bunch of bullies (at their jobs, with people in general) and they’ve been getting away with it forever. This is a lesson their child MUST learn now.

I can also promise you that if your child defended herself in any way that caused the b**ly shame or harm your child would have been punished severally by the school and the bullies parents would not back down. NTA – is changing schools an option?. Edit: THANKS FOR THE AWARDS!!

Ratchet_gurl24 −  They ASSAULTED your daughter. The school and the b**ly’s parents had ample opportunity to deal with this issue, BEFORE YOUR DAUGHTER WAS ASSAULTED. Their pitiful attempts to rectify their sheer lack of discipline is, quite frankly, too little, too late.
Your poor daughter has suffered, not only at the hands of her b**ly, but her teachers, who should not be allowing b**lying of any form in their school. They did nothing until legal action was taken against them, along with the b**ly.

When your child is at school, supposedly under the care and protection of the teachers, you expect them to do their job, and not ignore escalating b**lying, because it’s too much trouble.. Hold them all accountable.. Give your daughter a great big hug

LouisV25 −  NTA. As a lawyer, I say sue, sue, sue. Get a settlement agreement that contains a plan of action to address b**lying in the future. Sue them all. I would also file a police report. Cutting her hair was a**ault. Big fat F to all of them. Protect your child.

National_Pension_110 −  NTA. Keep advocating for your child. And follow through with the lawyer. School administrators can be awful about this. If it’s a public school, go to the school board meetings and speak during public comment so it’s on record.

Name the teachers and administrators involved. If there’s any social media presence, state it there, too. If you have a community newspaper, email a reporter. I’ve found that when they ignore one case of b**lying, it’s usually not an isolated incident. Be in their face. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

OddRefrigerator6532 −  They cut her hair? I can’t even write what I’m thinking!!!. This has to be a legal issue. Also make it a civil issue. Sue the people who cut it, the kids who watched & didn’t stop it, the teacher, the school!!

Bethsmom05 −  NTA. Cutting your daughter’s hair was a**ault. You should contact the police and press charges. Then contact a lawyer about using the school and the parents.

RojoPrincessa −  DO NOT BACK DOWN. Your daughter deserves to feel fought for. She needs to be protected. Further trauma can be detrimental to her health. Do not let this family or the school intimidate, gas light, or manipulate you into backing down.

Write to the superintendent, take photos of every mark or action they make on her physical body. If they a**ault her physically again, (because cutting her hair is physical a**ault) file a police report with the SRO if there is one.

They have had enough chances, this is your baby girl, it has to stop.. If they stop picking on her it will be someone else. These girls need to learn. Pain creates Change.

farmguy372 −  NTA. I’m pretty sure cutting hair against your will is a**ault/battery. File a police report as well as the lawsuit. Also, look up your district’s anti b**lying policies- if it’s public school, they very likely have them. And it’s very, very likely that they didn’t follow their own rules.

Do you think the user’s decision to consider legal action against the school and the bully’s family is justified, or should they give the school more time to address the bullying? How would you handle a similar situation involving your child? Share your thoughts below!