AITA? My neighbor (40sF) is mad at me(25F) for not texting her back?
A 25-year-old woman feels uncomfortable with her neighbor, a 40-something woman, who has been overly friendly and intrusive since she moved in. After ignoring a late-night text from the neighbor due to exhaustion, the neighbor has become hostile, believing the lack of response is a slight.
The younger woman is worried about potential backlash in their apartment community but feels she’s not obligated to engage in a friendship she didn’t seek. read the original story below…
‘ AITA? My neighbor (40sF) is mad at me(25F) for not texting her back? ‘
My neighbor is in her mid 40s and from the east coast, she’s lived here for awhile now (we live in the Midwest). She was quite friendly, VERY outgoing and is kind of a busybody (knows everything about everyone, knows everyone in the building, etc.)
she had no qualms about immediately telling me her life story and decided that I would be her little sister. She’s constantly asking to feed me, to give me things to buy me things etc. I always say no, mainly because i barely know her, it’s impolite etc.
I am a little standoffish with new people and am an introvert which she noticed and pointed out as weird. I think she thought I was being stuck up. I just told her I’m shy, which is the truth.
She offered me an old couch because I didn’t have any furniture and after saying no multiple times, I gave in and took it so she would stop pestering me and it’d be nice to have furniture. I offered to pay her for it which she declined because she’s a “good person.”This is where I fucked up.
Maybe she sees me as her little project because I’m new or something but the way we’ve interacted in only a month of living here is starting to make me uncomfortable. Anyways, a few nights after getting the couch she texted me at 1am and I didn’t respond bc I was tired and went back to sleep.
I had work in the morning so I forgot to respond back to her. Well, she took this as a slight and is now rolling her eyes at me in the hallways and is yelling profanities at because she saw me? I am confused because I never gave her the impression that I wanted to be best friends with her.
But I think she thinks that because she gave me the couch, I now have to say yes to the hanging out that I have always said no to. The food I have always said no to.
I wanted to text her and ask her what I did wrong so I can apologize and explain that I didn’t mean to come off any type of way, but I think she already had/has this idea of me, and it wouldn’t fit her narrative anyway.
That’s all good and well but we are neighbors and she knows everyone in the building. I’ve only ever really talked to the maintenance man who I think knows that she’s kind of lonely and keeps his distance. I don’t want her to cause any problems with management or whatever in my safe space.
I like it here so far, and don’t want any issues. What do I do? Am I the a**hole?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
BigBlueD7664 − NTA – It’s ok not to be her friend, and if she can’t seem to take no for an answer, then she is the AH, not you. Just because you accepted her sofa, it doesn’t make you obligated to her in any way. I have a feeling she is overbearing with everyone and takes every imagined sleight as a direct insult. It’s not you, it’s definitely her.
New-Owl-2293 − NTA. Be careful who you get close to. Some lonely people get obsessive. You don’t want a baby Reindeer situation. Don’t apologise – be civil, curt and say no to whatever she offers you. She’s trying to buy your attention. You don’t have to be polite to strangers
kimkayme − NTA. Your neighbour seems a bit m**ipulative if you ask me.
Organic-Mix-9422 − So im Australian. I don’t understand why in these posts, everyone seems happy to give their phone numbers, email and or fb to everyone they barely know. Keep your privacy.. Nta for not texting
_s1m0n_s3z − I bet this is a pattern with her. One that she’s pulled on new people over and over. She’s lonely and has no friends, so she latches aggressively on everyone who moves in, using finely calibrated toxicity to prevent them from maintaining their own boundaries.
OP, you’re going to have to go scorched earth and offend her in the end – there will no politer way to fend her off. So why not cut the circuit short? NTA.
coastalkid92 − NTA She’s your neighbour, not your friend and that’s okay.
Excellent-Count4009 − NTA. Block her number?
Organic_Start_420 − NTA return the couch and stay away from the n**case
Artistic-Deal5885 − NTA. Your neighbor is cuckoo and aggressive. Silence your phone at night, btw. Everything can wait til morning, even bad news can wait til after I’ve had a good night’s sleep.
StellalunaStarr − NTA throw out the sofa
Is she in the wrong for setting boundaries, or is her neighbor being unreasonable? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
