AITA for exposing my friends f**e charity at our class reunion?

A Redditor shares how he called out his friend Jake at their high school reunion after finding out Jake’s charity for veterans was not a registered nonprofit, despite his claims. When confronted about the lack of legitimacy, Jake brushed it off, leading the Redditor to bring up the issue publicly at the reunion, which embarrassed Jake and led him to leave early.

Some classmates felt the Redditor had been harsh, while others were skeptical of Jake’s charity claims. Read the story below to see if the Redditor was justified in confronting Jake or if it was over the line.

‘ AITA for exposing my friends f**e charity at our class reunion?’

I (30M) recently attended my high schools reunion. One of my old friends, “Jake” (31M), has become somewhat of a local celebrity. he started a charity that supposedly helps veterans. Hes been featured in very small local news papers, many praised him his efforts. At the reunion he kept speaking about his charity.

I’ve known Jake for a long time and have had my suspicions. A few months ago, I did some digging and found out that his “charity” isn’t registered as a nonprofit. He has a website but its a regular company. I confronted him privately before the reunion, but he brushed me off, saying I didn’t understand how difficult it was to run a charity and that the paperwork was just delayed.

At the reunion I listened to him talk about all the good his charity was doing, I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up and asked him to explain why it isn’t registered after so long, and why there is no proof that he actually donated money.

Jake tried to defend himself, and it was obviously very uncomfortable for him and embarrassing. Some accused me of ruining the night and publicly humiliating Jake, others said they thought it was fishy too. Jake left the reunion early. AITA for exposing my friend’s f**e charity at our class reunion and ruining his reputation?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

DazzlingBig −  YTA. I’m sorry dude, but this is crazy. As an attorney who specializes in non profit corporations, I can confidently say that just because his business isn’t registered as a non-profit doesn’t mean he’s keeping the money.

Registering as a non-profit protects him from most litigation and also would provide him with a great tax break. He’s doing himself a disservice by not registering as a non-profit. But, that doesn’t preclude him from doing non-profit work.

He’s also correct, to properly create a non-profit there’s quite a bit of paperwork and it can take awhile if you want it to be done correctly. He will have to create and recruit board members, create bylaws, file articles of incorporation, etc. He may just want to do his charitable work without all the hoops.

Here’s an example, you could message a bunch of your neighbors once a month to collect food for a school and name this effort “School Lunches for Kids,” because this is a thing you frequently do and you want your neighbors to quickly realize what you’re talking about when you’re speaking about this endeavor.

You would be doing charitable work without registering as a non-profit. Just because you didn’t formalize the work doesn’t mean you aren’t doing the work.
This whole thing just sounds like you’re jealous. If he was truly your friend, and you truly cared about his cause, you could have just offered to join him in his work and volunteer your time.

You likely also would have noticed if he wasn’t doing the work he said he was doing by volunteering with him. ETA – my whole point is. OP doesn’t know enough about what Jake is doing to make the determination he seems to have made.

He needs a lot more information than just, it isn’t registered as a non profit. There are several reasons it could not be registered as a non profit and not a s**m and there are several reasons why it actually could be a s**m. We and OP just don’t know enough to justify this type of confrontation.

HotPinkDemonicNTitty −  INFO: what is a long period of time? You never said. Weeks, months, years?

PrettiestFrog −  NTA. So many f**e charities are scamming people, and many of them use vets as a cover to get the exact reaction you’re getting here. “don’t you care about vets? What do you do for vets?” Well, for starters, you’re preventing a s**m and ensuring charitable donations intended for vets have a better chance of actually getting to the vets.

If he was making regular donations, he’d be able to prove it in about ten seconds and you’d be left with egg on your face and some apologies to make. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. And that tells you everything you need to know.

Srvntgrrl_789 −  Grant writer/researcher here. Getting the paperwork for a 501C3 can take up to two years. Your friend needs to also publicize his charity, so he can raise its profile. He should be definitely disclosing to interested parties that his company is in the process of becoming a non-profit, but are still providing non-profit/pro bono services, if that’s the case.

Confronting him at a class reunion was not a great look, for either of you. If you were THAT concerned about it, you should’ve taken him aside and discussed it privately. You came off sounding bitter and jealous.

Jbw76543 −  There are way too many f**e charities and scams and the question was reasonable. He brushed him off. I am sure he will later find out that it is a s**m. Trust your instincts

mercy_fulfate −  The Human Fund?

WhenBeautyFades −  this really depends on whether or not the charity is f**e. i want to give you the benefit of the doubt in saying that if you know someone and something seems fishy, it might be bad news but also having worked in nonprofits, it can be a hassle to get paperwork sorted. you guys definitely aren’t friends though

Comprehensive-Bad219 −  Info: There’s a lot of people here claiming to be lawyers and spouting legal knowledge that may or may not be true. I have no idea because I’m not a lawyer, and you don’t seem to be one either, so I would post this to a legal sub, and ask them if this seems sketchy what your friend is doing.

Go to a sub where there’s a flair for who’s an actual lawyer or not. The basis of if you are the a**hole is whether or not you are right. If you are right, than you correctly called your friend out. If you are wrong, than you just embarrassed him for no reason. So I would find out if you were right from a better source than AITA comments. 

RubyTx −  NTA. Grifters deserve exposure. They are often charming and convincing, and they rely on that to bring others into their net. If you really suspect this is all a s**m, consider reporting to the FBI or the equivalent in your country. If his charity was legit, he would have filed the paperwork before asking other people to hand over their money.

TheCount4 −  NTA. Back in 2016 there was a guy who held a fundraiser for veterans. Collected $millions but veterans charities didn’t receive a nickel. A newspaper reporter truth seeker like you did the research and then confronted his lies.

Then the guy had to donate the money to the veterans and should have been embarrassed, but apparently didn’t have the shame gene. Later on an unrelated issue, he and his family members were banned from running a charity in their home state.

Do you think the Redditor was right to expose his friend’s questionable charity, or should he have handled it differently? How would you react if a friend’s charity appeared suspicious? Share your thoughts below!