WIBTA If I got a piercing that my partner finds Gross?

A person is excited to get a double tongue piercing but feels conflicted because their partner finds it gross and doesn’t want to be around for the process. Although the partner assures them that love won’t change, he requests that the piercing be hidden during healing to avoid discomfort.

The person feels hurt but also determined to stay true to themselves, as they promised never to let anyone dictate their body choices again. read the original story below…

‘ WIBTA If I got a piercing that my partner finds Gross?’

I’m planning to get a double tongue piercing, I wanted this piercing for years and now it’s the perfect opportunity to get it. I was talking about it with my partner like a month ago and he said that he finds it gross I got offended and the conversation wasn’t really productive.

I’m supposed to get it next week and I asked . Then I asked if he would still love me. He said yes and that’s really all that matters to me. I’m supposed to get it done next week and I’m really excited about it so I asked if he’d come with me, he won’t see the process just be there for me before and after. He said that no.

I asked why and he said that he doesn’t want to be around the process, that he finds it disgusting and that he doesn’t know how to cope with me getting it. That I should hide it from him when it’s healing because he would faint if he sees it.

I feel really sad and like he crossed my boundaries because it’s my body but I do respect how he feels and perceives it. I just made a promise to myself a few years ago, that I won’t ever let anyone yell me what I can do with my body, after my ex partner told me to not get more piercings.

At the same time I really love him and our relationship it just makes me sad but I really don’t want to not get the piercing because I would just feel like I’m betraying myself.I don’t know what to do about this, would I be the a**hole if I got the piercing?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

extinct_diplodocus −  NAH. It’s your body and thus your decision. Similarly, he’s allowed to dislike it, and even to decide to break up over it if he considers it’s too distasteful to be around. He certainly has no obligation to pretend enthusiasm.

Diligent-Mind-9370 −  NAH. You’re free to get whatever piercings you want. It is your body. Similarly though, it is your boyfriend’s body and he has the right to decide what to do with his. Not wanting to go with you to get a piercing is not “crossing your boundary,” it’s him setting his own. He’s under no obligation to find the piercing attractive and to be enthusiastic.

riontach −  Honestly, YTA here. It’s totally fine for you to getting the piercing–no assholes in that situation. But you’re the a**hole for saying that he “crossed your boundaries” by not liking it and not going with you.

Your partner didn’t tell you not to get the piercing. Your partner didn’t *ask* you not to get the piercing. Your partner did not cross ANY boundaries, and as far as I can tell is being completely supportive of you doing what you want with your body, even if he personally doesn’t like it.

You are either projecting your past partner onto your current one or are looking for something to be upset about. Go get your piercing, just don’t expect your partner to come with you. That’s HIS boundary.

sjsyed −  NAH You’re free to get whatever piercings you want, your boyfriend is free to find you less attractive because of them.

[Reddit User] −  I feel really sad and like he crossed my boundaries because it’s my body. What boundary did he cross exactly?? We need to stop throwing that word around at every disagreement.

portaljumper810 −  YTA. G**damn you’re immature. Fortunately this relationship is going no where so I don’t have to worry about this poor guy.

adventuresofViolet −  NAH, from what you’ve written, he’s not forbid you to get it so I don’t understand how he’s crossed any of your boundaries. Besides, boundaries are something that you set for yourself, not other people and that’s what he’s doing.

He doesn’t find the piercings attractive so he doesn’t want to be involved in it. If you like the piercings get them, but understand he’s under no obligation to like it just because you do. 

Right_Bee_9809 −  Full disclosure: The idea of someone putting holes in their tongue makes me woozy and a bit suckened. I would probably not be able to stay in the relationship. But you have to choose your own path in live and set your own priorities.. NAH

Fun_Negotiation7663 −  you can do whatever you want, but actions have consequences. Your BF is allowed to have his own opinion on the issue. relationships are about compromise and it looks like you have no desire to compromise on this.

Is it fair to get the piercing, or should they consider their partner’s feelings more? What’s your take? Share your thoughts below!