AITA for Overreacting over a Meal because I’m a Vegetarian ?

A Reddit user shared a story of how a meal outing with her siblings turned sour when they ordered a dish she couldn’t eat due to her vegetarian choice. She didn’t want to impose her diet on them but hoped they’d order something inclusive since it was a shared meal. When they disregarded her preference, tensions escalated, leading to an argument. Now, she’s wondering if she overreacted. Read her full story below.

‘ AITA for Overreacting over a Meal because I’m a Vegetarian ?’

Hi, I really want to know if I’m in the wrong here… also I am new to Reddit so I apologize if I say things weirdly. So me(F19) and my three siblings: Jade (F25), John (M28) and Jay (M18) went out to a restaurant.

For context I chose to be a vegetarian because I’ve loved animals since I was kid, however I don’t like to force people to not eat meat around me because it’s a personal choice. All my siblings think it’s dumb (Jay is more understanding though) but usually it doesn’t cause problems since restaurants always a vegetarian option- usually they try to respect it.

I was at the hospital visiting a friend before we went to the restaurant and told my siblings to order without me. The place was a local Asian restaurant, my siblings only had money for one course (usually you share so it doesn’t matter).

I assumed they would be understanding and order something we all could eat at least- but nope. When I got back from the hospital I realized they brought chicken dumplings… which I couldn’t eat.

Now here is where I might’ve overreacted, I asked them why they didn’t get me something I could actually eat but they said the vegetarian thing is dumb and s**fish and they wanted chicken dumplings so that’s what they got.

Feeling disrespected, I got angry- and when I do i unfortunately cry- which they felt like I was being a baby about a small plate of food. John and Jade felt like I was ungrateful since they paid for it as the oldest siblings. To make matters worse John also started making jokes like I was the type to hold out vegan signs and cry whenever someone took a bite of meat.

I told him to stop repeatedly because I was upset and after ten attempts I audibly yelled at him to ‘shut up’ and left. Jay felt like I was being overlooked and doesn’t think I’m TA. I just feel like I’m not being taken seriously but they only see it as being s**fish.

See what others had to share with OP:

hikergirl26 −  NTA – It seems like they made a conscious decision to get something that you cannot eat and then they mocked you because you have made a life choice and then mocked you because you got upset. That is not cool.. However I have some questions I don’t really understand about not being able to order more than one thing though.

Dumplings are usually an appetizer and it seems like you would have to order several batches to have enough for 4 people. It would have been very easy to order 1 thing that was vegetarian. If you truly do have to order only one thing then maybe you should not be going out to dinner with them. I can also understand them wanting to order what they want to eat.

hunterswillbhunted −  NTA. I’m a vegetarian and have been for 10 years. I don’t care if people eat meat in front of me. That is their choice, just like my choice of not eating it. My friend eats meat all the time, and I have never once told him that he was stupid for his choice or chastised his diet choice.

He respects me enough as a friend not to do that, and vice versa. It sounds like your siblings are arseholes for chastising you about your choice. You keep doing you and s**ew the haters. Much love to you and the animals!

NapalmAxolotl −  NTA. They basically said they got food you wouldn’t eat, just because they wanted it, and that makes you the s**fish one??

adventuresofViolet −  If I’m understanding this correctly, a group went out to dinner, to share one order. You didn’t go and you didn’t contribute financially, but you were expecting that your individual wants would supersede the wants of the rest of the group. Yeah, YTA and you overreacted. 

unSocialog −  Is it possible that they took your “order without me” as a you weren’t hungry or eating? That’s how I would have interpreted it if my younger sister said to order without her, especially considering they only ordered one meal to share between them

NumbersOverFeelings −  YTA. You asked them to order. They’re only ordering 1 item. You’re not paying. You would be forcing your dietary choices on them in this case. If they ordered 4 dishes, one for everyone, and didn’t include a vegetarian dish then n.ta. That’s not the case.

lakeviewdude74 −  Distrust. This seems like an odd story. One order of chicken dumplings for four people sounds like an appetizer. Was there any other food ordered as a main dish. Or four people really just going to share chicken dumplings. I wouldn’t think that would be close to being enough for everyone. Was there even food left by the time you got there?

Just seems like something is missing. And if they ordered an appetizer to share before the main meal and that appetizer was not vegetarian, I think that was OK for them to do. The ones ordering and paying for it so I don’t think they need to include a vegetarian appetizer. As far as a main meal, that’s a different story.

FacetiousTomato −  Info: Chicken dumplings are not a meal, right? Did they get sides and rice and other things that you *could* eat? It feels weird you’ve listed one dish you had a problem with, that isn’t usually the only thing people order.

bookworm1398 −  ESH. If you can only afford to order one thing for the four of you, you shouldn’t be going out

New-Possibility-7024 −  YTA. I mean, the people teasing you were jerks, but 3 people wanted meat including the people actually paying for the meal, and the freeloader gets mad because they didn’t order what you wanted?

They shouldn’t have t3ased you (I’ll agree that sucked), but you shouldn’t have thrown a tantrum expecting everyone else to bow to your desires when you were expecting a free meal.

Look at it this way, if you had been the one paying, and only buying one dish, would you have bought a meat dish because 3 other people wanted it? Or would you have told them since it was your money, you were picking a veg dish?

Do you think her siblings were inconsiderate by ignoring her dietary choice, or was she expecting too much in a shared meal setting? How would you handle being in her shoes? Share your thoughts!