AITA for showering after pooping?

A woman (34F) developed a habit during the pandemic of showering after every bowel movement, feeling it keeps her cleaner than wiping alone. Now living with her boyfriend, Harry, she showers at least three times daily, which has caused tension.

Harry is concerned about water usage and insists the behavior is excessive, even though she offered to cover the water bill. He also suggests she seek help, implying the habit might be unhealthy. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for showering after pooping?’

I (34f) have developed a habit during the pandemic of showering after I poop. I feel it helps me stay cleaner than just wiping does because wiping just doesn’t seem enough. This means I shower every day (which is good for me anyway) and sometimes multiple times a day.

Recently, I moved in with my boyfriend (Harry, 32m). We got our own house for cheap because my parents were selling it and gave a major discount so we could afford it. He didn’t know about this “quirk” of mine before then but now he does. At first he didn’t mind but now it’s become a problem.

This might be TMI but for the past couple of months I’ve been pooping at least 3 times a day. Obviously that means at least 3 showers a day. Harry doesn’t like this and says I should stop because it wastes water which raises the water bill (which we both pay), and that it’s concerning how much I shower.

I offered to pay the water bills so he doesn’t have to but he said no and said that I should see someone because this seems like unhealthy behavior. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong, I was just making sure I stayed clean after pooping because wiping isn’t enough IMO. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

Catsbirdshorses −  Why do you have to take a full body shower every time? That really is wasteful. That’s why bidets were invented: so people could wash their parts without wasting a lot of water.. YTA for not getting a bidet.

ahknewb −  Go buy a bidet. Problem solved. Showering after each poop is SERIOUS OVERKILL unless you’ve got the “Oh no, Taco Bell betrayed me” poopsweats.. YTA, it is a waste of water.

arterialrainbow −  YTA If you really feel the need to hop in the shower and use shower gel or whatever it shouldn’t be taking more than like 30 seconds to wash your bits. Washing the rest of you or washing your hair every time is completely unnecessary.

The fact that this started during Covid and based on some of your comments on here about other solutions like a bidet/wipes I don’t think he’s unreasonable for suggesting you see someone. He’s right it doesn’t sound healthy, and it sounds like this could possibly be linked to anxiety. It might be something worth exploring with a therapist.

Sorry-Thing7797 −  YTA. You should see a therapist about your need to shower after every poop.

lihzee −  YTA. Get a bidet ffs. This is asinine.

Rhaelin −  YTA. This sounds like compulsive behaviour, which you should really speak to someone about. This is a huge waste of water and your bf literally has to pay the price if you are splitting the water bill. In the meantime, why not just buy a bidet?

MishMoshtheBoss −  I always use water and soap after going (south Asian habit), but a whole full body wash is a lot, especially three times a day. Just get a bidet. Or get a bucket/spray bottle, and wash yourself on the toilet. Also, make sure you are using mild soap down there (SLS free)!

MissAnth −  YTA for not considering what he said about seeing someone (a therapist) this could very well be some sort of obsessive behavior.. Also, get a bidet.

Significant_Star_439 −  YTA As someone with contamination OCD, showering to alive your fear of the germs sounds very much like a compulsion. Also, showering in steamy poop air is a bit more unhygienic than using a bidet, no?

The pandemic gave me agoraphobia I’m still trying to overcome. You’re not alone, and it doesn’t hurt to see a therapist. ETA: also pooping 3 times a day when you used to go once per day also sounds like an issue, in my non medical opinion I’d get that checked too!

FarDareisMai0 −  Have you tried reusable wet wipes? Or even just flushable toilet wipes? Showering that mich is really bad for your skin and it’s natural oils and moisture.

Is her showering habit reasonable self-care, or does Harry have a point? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below!