AITA For letting my friend wait inside with my girlfriend while I took a shower?

A Reddit user shared a situation where he let a long-time friend wait inside his home with his girlfriend while he took a quick shower. Although his girlfriend doesn’t like the friend and has a strict rule against him being inside their place, he thought it was fine since she invited the friend in without complaint.

Afterward, she expressed frustration, feeling he put her in an uncomfortable position. Now, he’s wondering if he was wrong for letting his friend wait inside. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For letting my friend wait inside with my girlfriend while I took a shower?’

I have been friends with this guy for 16 years. (6 longer than I have known my girlfriend) He stayed on my couch for a few months because I wasn’t going to let him live in his car. I was the best man at his wedding. My girlfriend despises him and a condition of our friendship is that he is not to be around our place.

Definitely not inside barring emergency (like he got shot and is dying, then fine, he can come in.) He is on his way over while I was finishing up a workout and arrived just as I was done. I messaged my gf if he could wait inside while I took a quick shower.

It’s been insanely hot to the point where people are literally dying of heat exhaust/stroke. She did not respond to the text and we both walk to the door. He waited outside and I asked if she was on a work call, giving her an easy out to not allow him in but she instead invites him in. I’m thinking we’re cool.

I take the quickest shower I can and we leave when I am done, less than 10 minutes total. She later tells me that she is upset and that I know the rules that we shouldn’t be hanging out here etc. I asked why she invited him in and chatted him up. I even turned on the TV and sat the remote in front of him.

She didn’t have to even stay in the room. She said she was being polite. I said no, you were being not rude. You were not being polite. She is technically right, being polite is doing what society expects of you and has nothing to do with kindness or being genuine.

Which she made clear was definitely not the motivation of her politeness. I put her in a position because I solely made the decision to have him come in. So, am I the a**hole for letting my friend wait inside while I took a shower?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

jrm1102 −  NTA – you should never have agreed to this in the first place, but she is being incredibly irrational
*Info – why doesnt she like him? Why does he make her uncomfortable?*. Edit – adding judgment

Fluffy_Juggernaut_ −  INFO: Why SPECIFICALLY can’t she stand him? Don’t just tell us “an argument”. What was the argument about? You are avoiding answering and it makes it look like this is **extremely** relevant to why she doesn’t want him around.. EDIT: OP has explained and is NTA

No-Names-Left-Here −  She said she was being polite. I said no, you were being not rude. Ahh, you’re one who loves to argue. You will flip the words to make yourself right. YTA.

MenchitWolfram −  YTA – “She said she was being polite. I said no, you were being not rude.” I was all for saying NTA your gf is weird, but since you are one of those assholes that just love to argue semantics, my judgment is that you are a total a**hole and I don’t trust you to be honest in the story and not leave out key information.

Darth_Chili_Dog −  It makes me suspicious that you didn’t include the reason for why your girlfriend hates your friend. It’s extremely weird to leave out key information that you knew everybody would need in order to pass judgment. edit: YTA, because your refusal to say why she hates him means you know that her reason for not wanting him in her space is extremely damning.

AunTestablishmentism −  INFO. You need info.. ESH until this is sorted out. You need to get to the bottom of why she is vehemently against your friend being in her space. A falling out with his GF is one thing, but that would mean the GF isn’t allowed over. Some stuff went down between your friend and your partner and you are gonna look like a chump if it was serious.

chudney31 −  YTA. You put her on the spot. She was being a decent human being.

applebum8807 −  INFO: what is deal with your gf and your friend’s wife. Hint. Don’t just copy and paste the same comment that they got in an argument, we actually need to know what the argument was.

LawNerds −  If you made an explicit agreement with your girlfriend as to how your house would be, then you’re the a**hole, for breaking that agreement. The question is: if you KNOW there’s a rule that he’s not allowed in the house (why the f**k would you agree to this rule in the first place) why did you bring him over AT ALL?

Like… why was he “on his way over” to a place he’s not supposed to be? Why would you have put yourself or him in this situation to begin with?

[Reddit User] −  YTA. Putting aside why this “he’s not allowed in our place” agreement exists (which many others here have asked about and you keep refusing to answer, which is very suspicious), you did agree to it and you’re the one that broke the agreement.

If you didn’t want to keep the guy waiting outside, *you* should have managed your time better instead of dumping him on your girlfriend, who you *know* hates him, and leaving her alone with him. And cut the b**lshit about how *she* is the one who supposedly let him in. You *pressured* her into it.

Do you think the boyfriend’s decision to let his friend inside was reasonable given the heat, or should he have respected his girlfriend’s boundary more firmly? How would you handle balancing loyalty to a friend with honoring relationship boundaries? Share your thoughts below!