AITA for expecting to get drunk at a bachelor party?
Bachelor parties have long been synonymous with letting loose, but what happens when expectations clash? In this story, a group of longtime friends planned a 4-day bachelor party in a lively lakeside town—complete with bars, casinos, and the promise of some well-deserved debauchery.
However, when the groom announced that he wanted a sober weekend—citing his fiancé’s wishes—the mood shifted dramatically. Now, some of the partygoers are left wondering if it’s acceptable to expect a wild, booze-fueled celebration, or if respect for the groom’s new lifestyle should prevail.
‘AITA for expecting to get drunk at a bachelor party?’
When expectations for a celebratory event clash, clear communication becomes essential. Relationship and group dynamics experts note that bachelor parties traditionally serve as a final escape for uninhibited fun, but modern circumstances can reshape those traditions.
Dr. Laura Markham advises, “It’s important to discuss and align expectations early so that everyone can enjoy the event without feeling forced into activities that conflict with personal choices.” In this case, the groom’s preference for a sober weekend—likely influenced by his evolving lifestyle—highlights the need for mutual respect.
While some friends may be disappointed by the absence of their usual partying, experts emphasize that compromise and understanding can transform potential conflict into a memorable, if non-traditional, celebration.
See what others had to share with OP:
Many redditors express disappointment, arguing that a bachelor party without the expected wild behavior feels like a watered-down version of the tradition. Others, however, commend the groom for his honesty and his willingness to set boundaries. Overall, while opinions differ, most agree that if expectations shift, it might be time to reconsider what really matters in celebrating a friendship and marking a life milestone.
In conclusion, this update raises an important question: Should a bachelor party always be a free-for-all of drunken antics, or can evolving lifestyles and new responsibilities redefine what makes the celebration special? The groom’s desire for a sober weekend has sparked a debate between tradition and personal growth.
What do you think? Is it reasonable to expect the usual party vibes, or should respect for personal choices take precedence? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice below to help us navigate this modern twist on an age-old tradition.
Practice adulting and be a good friend. If you need to wind down and have a beer/glass of wine in your room after the group time is over each day, go ahead. If you can’t accommodate this small request, your friendship is clearly over.
NTA! Idiot is pussy whipped already and he isn’t even married yet.
NTA. here’s what people are getting wrong about the nature of a bachelor party. It is not a celebration for the groom. It is not “his party”. It is a party for the group of guys that have been friends for more than a decade and symbolic of an end of an era for the group as a whole. If the groom wants to have a sober weekend at the bachelor party he is welcome to not partake in drinking. He does not, nor does his fiancé, get to tell the rest of the friend group what they can and can’t do at one of their increasingly rare (less then annual) weekends away as a group of friends that existed before the fiance and will exist after her.
NTA in my opinion. Im sure if they had known his feelings in advance they would have planned something completely different that would have worked. This is a group of friends that don’t see each other often and are taking time off of work for a Bachelor weekend (remember when these things used to be 1 night not a weekend or a week???) They should be able to let loose. I doubt they planned on staying drunk the entire time and would be up for doing hikes and visiting places too but letting loose at night should be allowed. I went to a Bachelorette week in NOLA, im not a drinker and was able to enjoy the hell out of myself with my friends while they were drinking and I wasn’t.
Sounds like the groom may have an alcohol problem and possibly did something stupid while drunk so now the fiancée is saying no alcohol because I can’t trust you or she’s controlling him.
NTA – It was unfair of him too change plans at the last minute after people had paid deposits and booked time off work ( which I hear is a big deal in USA) He should have made the plans clear from the beginning so that people could choose fairly if they want to attend, especially as it is a 4 day event with hotel costs etc. People are keen to call you an alcoholic, but if the plans had changed suddenly from hill walking to something else e.g a health spa it would also be unfair.