AITA for expecting my husband to do half the housework?

A Reddit user shares her frustration with her husband’s expectations around housework. Despite both contributing equally to household bills, her husband believes she should take on a greater share of the housework because she’s home more often and her work is “less” physically demanding.

She argues that if they split expenses equally, chores should also be shared 50-50. However, her husband insists his job’s physical demands justify his position. Read on to see if you think her proposal is fair or if her husband’s point has merit.

‘ AITA for expecting my husband to do half the housework?’

My husband and I both work. Thus, we split the household bills 50-50. However, my husband expects me to perform more housework because I am home more often. He states that because I am at home more often, and that my work is “less” tiresome, it is logical that I do more of the housework.

I work 2-3 days a week, 10-12 hour shifts, and my work primarily consists of driving. My husband works 5 days/week with varying 5.5-8 hour shifts. He states he works standing up on his feet compared to where I get to sit down (driving), so he is more tired than I after work. Therefore, it is more fair that I complete more of the housework.

I concede that he will usually work more hours, although sometimes we work the same amount of hours. I rebutted that it doesn’t matter how often I am home: as long as we split the bills 50-50, then the chores should also be split 50-50. I stated that if he expects me to do more housework because he claims he works more than I, then he should pay a higher portion of the bills. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

tacotown7000 −  i would give $100 to never read another reddit post about household chores

forgeris −  When you have to fight who does 5% extra chores it might be a great time to look at your life, re-evaluate your relationship and reflect on your happiness. In general if you spend more time at home then you should take on more chores except if your health is not good enough, but this 50:50, how can you calculate that? By invested time? Then again, who spends more time at home has more time thus should take more chores.

Maleficent-Bottle674 −  NTA. Your husband is trying to set up the marriage most women have. Data shows most women in marriages/relationships pay half the bills and still do all/most childcare and chores. Even when a woman is the sole income earner she does more chores than her unemployed husband/bf.

Do not fall for any of his excuses or justifications. The true reason is misogyny. He feels e**itled to you doing domestic labor. If he was being logical….because you work less you should pay less money too? Yet he didn’t do that. He expects you to contribute 50/50 to the bills regardless of how much you work.

If he wants you to do more chores then insist he pays more bills. Lots of people are going to be coming at you with how it’s about caring for each other and helping each other out. But this is emotional manipulation because look at the data…only/mostly women are doing extra labor and compromising and sacrificing. Men rarely even do their share they’re not doing extra.

Commercial_World_834 −  So you have up to 4 days of no work a week?

Sweet-Description-29 −  If you do more housework you should split the bills accordingly. You do 10-12 hour shifts so there’s no way you can do housework then.

Excellent-Count4009 −  NTA. ” I am at home more often, and that my work is “less” tiresome, it is logical that I do more of the housework.” …. b**lshit. Tell him you are just better at your job so you can cover your 50% of the bills faster – he can compensate by doing his 50% of the chores faster.

“I stated that if he expects me to do more housework because he claims he works more than I, then he should pay a higher portion of the bills.” .. that’s reasonable – sinve your relationship is very transactrional, that should be true with the chores, too.

[Reddit User] −  This is how marriages end. Eventually you’ll just have enough of his refusal to be a real partner.

Unfair_Finger5531 −  ESH. You two should be able to work this out. It’s marriage 101. If you can’t, pool your money and get a cleaning service to do the hardest tasks. I think this is a childish argument, and if my husband was hounding me like this, one of us would be living elsewhere. Stop putting up with this nonsense.

JoneseyP98 −  50/50 on bills = 50/50 on chores. I’m betting he doesn’t do his half anyway? NTA

MaudeBaggins −  If you both work, and have the means, hire someone to do the chores you both hate.

Do you think it’s fair for housework to be split equally regardless of job hours or type, or should one partner take on more if they’re home more often? How would you balance the chores in this situation? Share your thoughts below!