AITA For Being Upset Because My Wealthy Best Friend Wouldn’t Let Me Borrow Five Dollars?

A Reddit user shares their experience with a wealthy best friend who, despite their past support, recently refused to loan them even $5. The user feels hurt, especially given that they once helped the friend in times of need, including lending their car without expecting repayment. Read on to see how things escalated and to consider if their reaction was justified.

‘ AITA For Being Upset Because My Wealthy Best Friend Wouldn’t Let Me Borrow Five Dollars?’

My best friend and I have been friends for nearly 7 years. When we first met, she was struggling financially and lived paycheck to paycheck. At one point, her car broke down and she had no transportation to work, so I would let her borrow my car and never asked her for gas money or anything in return.

At the time, I was financially secure and was happy to help her out. As the years went by, my financial situation changed & just like her, I began living paycheck to paycheck. By this time, she had started dating a guy she met online who revealed to her a few months into dating that he was a millionaire.

They married shortly after and suffice to say she has not had to struggle since. There have been a few times I have asked to borrow money, which I have always paid back. It’s usually not much, less than $25 or so each time, and she would always oblige with no problems until recently. The last couple times I asked to borrow money, she said she didn’t have it which I found odd.

But then I asked to borrow $5 and she said the same thing and I thought it was odd that she told me she didn’t have $5 to spare. I know that ever since she got married, her brothers and a couple other friends have tried taking advantage of her new-found wealth by asking to borrow money they never paid back and having her bail them out of situations they put themselves in that have cost her a lot of money.

I started to think that maybe I had forgotten to pay her back money I owed her at some point, so I reached out to her to ask if that was the case. When she told me that wasn’t the case (as in, I had always paid her back), I told her I felt hurt because it felt like if I needed her help with something (I used the example if I ended up in jail) that I couldn’t reach out to her for help because she couldn’t even let me borrow $5.

She replied and said that just like her brothers, I needed to learn how to budget my money better and that she can’t be the one to bail everyone out. She said when she was struggling, she had to work multiple jobs and did what she had to do.

I replied and said that it was not fair for her to lump me in with her brothers as I have never done anything to take advantage of her & I never would have said something like that to her when I let her borrow my car & anytime she would ask me to borrow money when she was struggling.

I told her I loved her but that I was ending the conversation and she replied that this is why money and friends should never mixed. Since then, she has reached out and said, “I didn’t deserve that conversation last night, I hope you know that” to which I have not replied to and have no plans to.

I am deeply hurt that she feels I was in the wrong, but I do not think I was the a**hole here. I understand that I am not e**itled to anyone’s money, borrowed or not, but when she was in my shoes, I did everything I could to help her out. I could understand if I had asked to borrow a large amount of money, but I literally asked for $5.

See what others had to share with OP:

Scitizenkane −  NTA. Did I read the same post as everyone else, or did your friend make a bunch of accounts ragging you over $5. So, she had to struggle and work 3 job, but was STILL borrowing money from you, but the 5 bucks was the last straw and spawned a finance course.

I’d, leave her be. She’s posh now, and is not of your world anymore. People need you when they don’t have it, but when YOU don’t have it ….all the sudden YOU’RE unreasonable and is questioned etc…..perfect example look at the other comments.

No_Inspection_2977 −  NTA. im honestly f**king shocked at the comments. It’s not like you’re asking her for a huge amount of money. And it’s not like you didn’t pay her back before. And if she’s that f**king loaded this is nothing to her. I would 100% understand her boundary if you would take advantage of her in some way before.

But you didn’t. I honestly hope I never get rich enough to be this stingy with the people I love. At least if this is truly causing a problem in her relationship she could tell you why. But I don’t see how a millionaire husband would care about 5 or 20 bucks

Lady_Trig −  My friend and i are in similar situations money wise atm. We are both skint. I’ve just found out that the money I was expecting this weekend is no longer coming (I have just lost my job and was really relying on it), and she is skint until her next payday.

We were venting to each other about our situations and then went about our day. Next thing I know, I have a notification that £50 has been put into my account, and I get a message from her saying that she had called in an owed favour and had sent me some money and she hopes it helps.

I immediately messged her back and said thank you, but what about yourself? Don’t s**ew yourself over for me (she’s the type to do it). Her response was, “Don’t worry about me. The favour was enough to tide me and be able to send you some money. Plus, money doesn’t matter. Friendship does”

Ambitious-Cover-1130 −  NTA. I think people are not seeing the issue. Friendships are founded on equality. You supported her when she was down and you feel that she is not supporting you when you are down – ESPECIALLY when it is a question about small sums. In addition to that – she starts lecturing you for being lazy and stupid.

That said there are a few points worth noting. Borrowing between friends are always bad. I have the rule if my friends needs a few dollars – I simply give them the money or offer to pay for them. Lack of repayment of loans kills friendships (I know it is not the case in your situation).

The strange thing is that people usually do not like gifts but they often feel it is ok to borrow money and not repay. (I know – not your case – general observation) This said – I think you need to accept that this friendship is over.

Right now – I suggest a “polite” way to end it. Send your friend a friendly greeting – and say that you accept fully her point of view. After that – you stop accepting meeting her or visits on the basis that you are busy working or that you are cutting down costs. Just say this politely and let this friendship die slowly.

MedicalMom23 −  I’m deeply curious as to the friend’s side of the story…I feel like there’s missing info here.

Ok_Equipment_8032 −  You’ve obviously asked often enough for your friend to become uncomfortable with the frequency of your requests, since you stated “the last couple of times” she said she didn’t have it. Your friend is setting a boundary and is not wrong in saying that money and friends should never mix.

You helped her when she needed help, and it sounds as though she’s helped you out up until very recently when you’ve needed it. At what point is her “debt” to you paid?

Adventurous-travel1 −  It’s not the $5 it’s the fact that you always ask for $ regardless of you pay her back or not. She set a boundary and is sticking with it so you should respect that.

patters1079 −  YTA. You said you’ve asked her many times to borrow money. And while that’s great you paid her back, friends aren’t a bank to lend you money. Maybe it happens once or twice, but after that come on. It’s not her job to lend money to friends. That is abusing her friendship.

And she’s married so her money is now their money. It is understandable that her husband not agree with lending money, especially given the fact her family abused her kindness. She is right, you never mix money with friendship.

Especially when you are asking several times. My daughter had a friend who kept asking to borrow money. She felt used. I’m sure your friend feels the same way.

LittlestSlipper55 −  INFO: why do you need $5 so badly? I’ve been in your shoes, when you are living paycheck to paycheck even $1 can make the difference between a bill getting paid or not.

But also, $5 is such a small amount of money I’m questioning why you just need that tiny amount. If you are so strapped for cash that you are borrowing the price of a regular coffee, and doing so on the regular (yes, even though you pay it back), I am questioning where your cash flow output is.

issy_haatin −  Gonna go YTA. She happily obliged to provide free loans for a period of time. At some point she got tired of always providing. ( And probably confronted by her husband on how she should be more mindful of spending their money)

Instead of accepting a no, you decided you *deserve* to lay claim to her money. Sure it’s only $5, last time you asked, but considering you mention ‘last couple times’ it means that it’s a frequent occurrence.

Meaning you are truly not budgetting, but relying on her to keep fixing your lack of foresight. And turning petulant, petty and confrontational when she doesn’t provide the easy fix yet again. Proving her right that friends and money don’t mix.

Do you think the friend was right to set boundaries after her financial situation changed, or should she have been more understanding, considering their history? How would you handle money issues with a friend in a similar position? Share your thoughts below!