AITA my boyfriend didn’t see me?

The poster explains a frustrating experience with her boyfriend after a movie outing. She’d forgotten her phone and informed him, but after the movie, he unexpectedly wasn’t at his usual waiting spot by the entrance or near their car.

After about ten minutes of searching, she found him on his phone inside, unaware of her anxiety over not being able to contact him. She attempted to communicate that they needed to be more mindful of each other’s whereabouts, especially with an upcoming trip, but he dismissed her concerns, saying it was unnecessary to keep tabs on one another.

‘ AITA my boyfriend didn’t see me?’

Yesterday we went to go see a movie. I had forgotten my phone, and communicated that to my boyfriend on the drive there. He asked me if I would be okay without it, and I said yes.nAfter the movie I told him I had to use the restroom.

When I got out, I walked outside (he usually waits out by the entrance. But he wasn’t there. I waited a few minutes, but I couldn’t call him, and he had the car key. I tried walking to the car, but he wasn’t there. I went back in and checked near the men’s restroom, but nothing.

After about ten minutes I got pretty upset. I tried to keep myself in view of the theater while I walked around it, but he wasn’t anywhere. Some strangers even offered to get me an Uber. Finally I went in and checked one more time, and he was sitting on a couch looking at his phone.

I told him I’d been looking for him, but I wasn’t blaming about it, but he got super defensive and told me it was my fault for not seeing him and I had no reason to be upset. He kept saying “I don’t understand why you’re so upset” on the car ride back.

When I tried to tell him that I wanted us to “be more in sync with each other” (especially since we’re going on a trip out of the country soon) he scoffed and said, “do I need to tell you where I’m going to be whenever we are separate?”

Which felt unfair- I didn’t have my phone. Plus, what if something happens to me? How long would it take him to notice? Am I overreacting? I feel kind of angry now and still hurt.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Dschingis_Khaaaaan −  Sorry but kinda YTA. All you had to do was make a plan on where to meet each other.  Being upset/frustrated with your BF isn’t really fair in this case and the whole “need to be in sync” with each other thing is just vague and meaningless.

Like is he supposed to read your mind to guess where you will look for him? Just tell him!  If you’re going to split up just say “let’s meet back here at X time”.

If you’re going somewhere busy where you might get separated then you say “if we get separated then just meet over by that tree” etc.  Plan ahead and communicate, don’t depend on being “in sync”.  

calm-your-liver −  YTA – simple solution: “hey, wait for me by the front door while I use the bathroom.”
You were in a movie theater, not a war-torn, third world country, where you didn’t speak the language. Rein in the dramatics

PavlovsAardvark −  YTA and a bit of a d**ma queen.

AdventurousImage2440 −  welcome to the world of pre 2000 where noone had cell phones and you made a plan to meet if something happened.

wcijlwkf −  Yes you are overreacting. I don’t think YTA, just nervous & scared.

Jojolapat −  YTA you were running around trying to find him, he probably was doing the same, one of you finally figured out that if you both kept moving it the chase could last all night He stopped moving and sat down, you found him and you’re mad. Okay. What would “be more in sync with each other” concretely mean from that situation?

ServelanDarrow −  YTA. He was sitting in plain view. Grow up.

paul_rudds_drag_race −  Meh, it seems like a low-level conflict with some bickering. I know it’s easy in the moment to forget to have a game plan because it’s not some high-stakes situation.

Maybe have a plan in place now that going forward you’ll always meet right inside the main entrance of wherever you are since it’s typically safer than the outside of the entrance or by the car. If that’s the default approach, then you don’t have to coordinate as much in the future.

Mojitobozito −  YTA. And pretty confused what you mean by being more in sync with each other. Like he should have some kind of super skill that he can sense where you are? Or he should read your mind and know where you would be.

I think you need to learn to communicate better. Just tell him where to meet you, etc. It was 10 mins and I know that can feel scary when you can’t find someone, but your overreaction and unreasonable expectations make you a bit of an AH in my mind.

Mystery_Meatchunk −  OP’s being suspiciously quiet in this comment section.