AITA – I asked my wife to skip a day of gym coz my aunts were visiting ?
A husband asked his wife to skip her gym class so she could join him and their kids for a family outing with his visiting aunts, who raised him during his teenage years. His wife initially resisted, expressing that she hadn’t been to the gym in a week and wanted to maintain her routine.
The husband insisted, saying the family time was more important and questioned her priorities. This led to tension between them. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA – I asked my wife to skip a day of gym coz my aunts were visiting ?’
My aunts, who are almost like my parents, who raised me during my teenage years, are visiting my city. They rarely go out of where they live and go on vacations. After so much convincing for a year between my sister and I, they finally decided to. It’s like a mini vacation to them.
My kids are on a spring break for that week too and had no plan for the day. So my sister and I decided to take them some place on that day with the kid (of course, along with my wife). Her first reaction when I said it – “Oh. I have the gym class that day. I haven’t been there for a week.” to which my response is “Can you not skip it?”
After a few days, she kept saying “Can I not go” and such. I responded yesterday and just say “Could you just go for me? To make me happy?” Today, she brought up again to which I have no response. Then when we are choosing the time, she suggested afternoon coz morning is her gym hour.
I told her it’ll be too hot in the afternoon and morning is better. Then she said she really wants to go to the gym. Then I just told her “is your gym really that important?” And now she’s mad. Context: she’s not an exercise freak or anything. She just started going to this gym class like 4 months ago.
Before that, she never does any gym or exercise anyway. Last week, our kid was sick. We brought him home. She missed her class, and I even okayed she leaves the kid with me while she goes to a make up class. Btw, I work from home and she doesn’t work at all. She’s a SAHM.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Schnauzerbear − What is up with the people defending wife here?! 😐 NTA. Her behaviour is a bit strange, it’s gym, she can go whenever? Your aunts never travel and are finally visiting and she says “I don’t wanna”, childish truly. She should support you here, any loving partner would as long as the are able (and gym isn’ta good enough excuse).
oldyorker123 − I am surprised at some of these comments. His wife is a SAHM for two school-aged children. M-F she is home on her own from 8am to at least 12 pm if her kids are very young, maybe even 8-3 pm if they are older and have a full school day.
She gets all of Saturday to herself when OP takes the kids to spend time with other family. I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask or expect your partner to be there for a rare family visit with relatives who are obviously very important to her partner.
Everyone who says – that’s not her relatives or that she should be left to live her life – to me that doesn’t sound like the sense of family that many people reasonably believe.
It sounds like you and your wife have deeper issues and need to have a real talk that is less about scheduling and more about what everyone is really feeling, about values, and about expectations around family and partnership.. NTA
MembershipImpossible − Is her boyfriend at the gym.
silverbirch26 − More information needed here – how often does she get time without the kids. Is it just this one class? How often do you cancel plans to attend events with her family? What is her relationship with this gym class – has it impacted her life a lot (mental health, weight, social life)?
Euphoric_Travel2541 − NTA. This is a very special occasion for your family, and IMO, your wife should go with you all to get to know your aunts, help to host them and make them comfortable, and be present at a rare family gathering. Your wife seems oddly uncomfortable, really rather agitated.
Is there something else going on about this event? Of course, the morning would be better, especially as these ladies are older and won’t want to wait around all morning. If there are make-up classes at the gym, then she can plan to do that the same week.
I think she should make an exception to her schedule given the special nature of this outing. The only concern I have about you is when you said, “I EVEN okayed she leave the kid with me while she went to class”.
That hints at you controlling her schedule most of the time, and needing to approve when she goes to the gym. Can’t you look after your sick child for an hour or so? Why do you see that as so generous of yourself?
Cursd818 − NTA. You know what? A gym class is very missable. Doing a one-off activity with people who are *very* important to your husband is not something your wife should *want* to miss. Is there some trouble in your marriage? Is she not close to your aunts?
I don’t see why she’s digging her heels in about a gym class, of all things.
Gattina1 − NTA. Your wife is. She obviously doesn’t want to spend time with your aunts, so go without her and have a wonderful time. I’d keep it in my back pocket, tho, for the next time she wants you to do something for her. 🙂 ETA: I was being facetious about the last sentence.
username-_redacted − *Btw, I work from home and* ***she doesn’t work at all****. She’s a SAHM.* As a longtime husband who was lucky enough to have his wife take several years off from her outside-the-home work to raise our kids, I’d encourage you to come up with a more accurate way of describing your wife’s contribution to your family.
cheekmo_52 − NTA. Seems like a reasonable thing to ask. However, have you asked your wife why she is avoiding your aunts? Seems like there is more to this than her not wanting to skip a workout.
Big_Alternative_3233 − Is your wife always this disrespectful to your family members? Seems there is a bigger issue here.. NTA
Do you think the husband’s request was reasonable, or should he have respected his wife’s routine? Share your thoughts below!
