AITA for paying for my sons e**itled gf to come on a cruise with us instead of their cousin?

A family planned their annual cruise, but instead of inviting their niece, they paid for their son’s girlfriend, Morgan, to join. They promised to invite the niece on another trip in the summer.

However, Morgan turned out to be critical of the accommodations and clashed with the children over small issues, leading the siblings to regret her presence and argue she shouldn’t have come. The parent feels caught between supporting the son’s relationship and disappointing the other children. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for paying for my sons e**itled gf to come on a cruise with us instead of their cousin?’

We went on a family cruise that has become a yearly tradition. The only difference is my son, who is 18 years old, wanted to bring his girlfriend (Morgan) this time and we said it sounded like a great idea. We paid for her trip and everything she’ll need, and it was pretty costly.

Because of this we couldn’t pay for our niece, 16. Her parents don’t have much expendable money, they are pretty poor, and she was unable to come to this trip. We promised we’d go on another cruise during Summer and pay for her to come. I felt bad we couldn’t bring her, but we wanted our sons gf to feel welcomed.

Well, she has been a little difficult. I had met her before and thought she was a lovely girl, but I got a completely different interpretation of her this trip. When she first saw her room, she said she was expecting more and it seemed small. That really rubbed me wrong, but I ignored it. My son told me she came from a wealthy family.

My kids were sad their cousin wasn’t here, but I told them to spend time with Morgan. Unfortunately, they’ve been getting into fights. Morgan yelled at my kids because they used an handicap elevator, specifically designed for disabled people. She said it was rude and e**itled.

My kids pointed out that they got lost and had no idea where they were. They found the elevator and decided to take it up. They said no disabled people were using the elevator but if they were they would have given it up immediately. But Morgan said it was really e**itled and s**tty of them.

I’m not sure I understand her logic here. It seems like she’s starting fights over nothing and I’m confused by she’s parenting my kids. She’s been getting into multiple fights with my daughters, who are exhausted of her. I overheard them talking about how awful she is at a dinner and approached them to tell them to shut up.

People can hear them, and we don’t want Morgan to feel unwelcomed. They said they were tired of her. She was super e**itled and still complaining that we didn’t spend money on a better cruise or better things to do. (Unbelievable because this was cruise was around 2k each person.)

They said I was an a**hole for leaving their cousin at home and inviting this e**itled person instead. They said their cousin should be here, not this lady. I told them we need to show support to their brothers relationship, someone that could be apart of the family one day. I’m sad to leave my niece home too. AITA here?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

trfkah −  YTA if you feel that this girl will be part of your family when they are both 18. The GF is also an AH for acting like she is. I dealt with people like this. Someone who feels their it don’t stink and that there way is the only way. Avoid at all cost and if you can’t let them fail and fail hard. May be they will get humble.

lmmontes −  YTA, if she’s from a wealthy family she should have paid for herself. And they could have gotten a room far away from you. Hope you learned your lesson.

agarrabrant −  YTA. I can’t believe you went over to police their conversation. So what a bunch of strangers could hear that they don’t like her? They’re absolutely allowed to have opinions and discuss that with each other. Where have you been the whole time she’s been ruining your children’s vacation and calling them names?

Why does some random girl get put before everyone else? Why on this earth would you pay $2k+ for your son’s teenage girlfriend to go on a cruise with you?! Especially when odds are they break up, hopefully sooner than later, from the sounds of it.

The only part of this “fun family vacation” that your kids are going to remember is how awful this girl is, how she ruined it, and how you did nothing but tell them to shut up and take it.

CoverCharacter8179 −  I don’t exactly understand your question. Are you really asking whether you are an AH for inviting a j**k along on vacation? Because that’s what your title says. Of course you aren’t, you didn’t know she was a j**k when you invited her.

However, I don’t want to give you a verdict of N T A because I think you are way off base with how you handled the situation with your daughters. Your idea of “just don’t say anything, keep the peace” is exactly the wrong way to handle a friend or family member who is being a j**k.

So they just get to keep on being a j**k for the rest of the vacation, and even the rest of your lives, and everyone else just shuts up and takes it forever? In fact, “just ignore it and don’t say anything” is reasonable regarding the bad behavior of a total stranger whom you are never going to see again;

the bigger a part of your life someone is, the worse that strategy becomes. So I say Y T A for the question you didn’t ask. Edit: I said Y T A but I should have said ESH because obviously Morgan sucks too.

JustAGal_Love −  YTA. Eighteen year old teenager girlfriend did not need to be included in family outing. You supported your son’s bed partner instead of a known and missed cousin. At 18, GF could have paid for herself if she wanted to come so bad.

Otherwise, the cousin was the obvious choice. At 16, cousin had lots less opportunities to take a cruise/visit/enjoy the benefits of travel.

[Reddit User] −  YTA just for seemingly disrupting a family tradition to bring along a gf that you dont know that well, and cant have been dating your son that long. The problems with her are kind of irrelevant, but i guess its good to find out what shes like early.

However, this just seems strange and short sighted to not invite your niece that all your children know and missed.

YouthNAsia63 −  Ok, well now you have spent more time with her, you now have an entirely different view of your son’s GF. If you invite her on future trips, well, you know what you will get. I know I wouldn’t be interested in inviting her on any upcoming trips.

She obviously isn’t having a good time, and the accommodations aren’t up to her high standards. Why would you subject her to this torture again? If your son protests, tell him flat out that she was ungrateful and unpleasant and nobody wants to spend time with her so she will not be invited back.

But future trips are months in the future. You just have to endure this one. I am sure you can do a lot to avoid her, if you really try, cruise ships are pretty big, you don’t even have to all eat together. Do invite your niece on the next trip, she sounds nice. NTA, it sounded like a good idea, now you know it wasn’t, but you will be off the ship soon.

Cautious_Pool_3445 −  Yta she’s e**itled and the only one of your kids having a good time is the one getting laid at your expense. Good job ruining the family vacation for your sons penis

Odd-End-1405 −  YTA. It was nice that you wanted to let your son have his GF along, but if it was a money issue and she supposedly comes from money, she should have paid for herself. You obviously had not truly spent any time with her prior to this trip. This reads disaster on any trip.

Telling you kids to s**k it up on THEIR vacation because she may be family some day? Shortsighted and really inconsiderate to your own kids. Sounds like your son is the Golden Child if they have to cowtow to his e**itled GF. He is only 18, do you REALLY think she is his forever?

Basically, you ruined everyone’s vacation due to being short sighted and allowing your son to dictate the invite list. Next time, get to know someone before you bring them on vacation with you and your family to ensure they will actually mesh with your family.

Stop being even a bigger AH by trying to get your daughters to spend time with her. They obviously do not care for her, and she does not like them….forcing them to spend time will not fix this and will only widen the chasm.

Weaseltime_420 −  I think people are a bit harsh for calling you TA on this. You said that you met her before and she seemed nice. Looks like her true colours have come through. You’ve made the mistake of doing a nice thing for a stranger and I’m sure you won’t make that mistake again..

Bring the cousin next time. Also, let your daughters call the GF out on her s**t. With any luck your son will start taking this on board and make a good decision re: the future of their relationship. NTA for making a choice based on the information you had available at the time.

Was it fair to prioritize the girlfriend over the niece? Should the family have handled things differently? Share your thoughts below!