AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend?

A woman, 6’1”, has been dating her 5’4” boyfriend, Jake, for eight months and doesn’t care about their height difference. However, her friend Dave, who is 6’4”, repeatedly makes inappropriate jokes about Jake’s height.

After Dave asks an offensive question about their intimacy at a bar, she snaps and tells him his comments are disrespectful and cruel. Dave claims she overreacted, saying he was just trying to lighten the mood. Now, she’s questioning if her reaction was justified. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend? ‘

Alright, here’s the situation. I (28F) am 6’1” and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, Jake (30M), for about 8 months. Jake is 5’4”, which makes him quite a bit shorter than me, but honestly, I don’t care. He’s sweet, funny, and we have an amazing connection.

I’ve never been hung up on height, but my friend Dave (29M), who is 6’4”, seems to have a problem with it. At first, Dave made the usual jokes like, “Do you have to bend down to kiss him?” or “Does he need a booster seat when you go out to eat?” I rolled my eyes, but I brushed it off because I thought it was just playful teasing.

But as time went on, Dave’s comments got more frequent and increasingly inappropriate. One night, we were all hanging out at a party, and out of nowhere, Dave asked me, “So, do you ever feel like a giant? Is Jake your personal little action figure?” Everyone stopped talking, and I could feel Jake tense up next to me.

He laughed it off, but I could tell it bothered him. I was furious but didn’t say anything at the time. A week later, we were out for drinks with a larger group, and Jake and I were having a great time—until Dave decided to open his mouth again.

He leaned over and, with a smirk, said, “Hey, how do you two handle things in the bedroom? Does he have to stand on a stool to get to the good stuff?”
I felt my blood boil. This was not the first time he’d made inappropriate comments, but this one crossed the line.

I turned to him and snapped, “What the hell is wrong with you? That’s completely disrespectful, and it’s not funny!” Dave looked taken aback, and I continued, “You act like this is some kind of joke, but it’s just cruel. Jake is a great guy, and your comments make you sound like an insecure j**k.”

The table went silent, and Jake looked a bit shocked, but I could tell he appreciated me standing up for him. Afterward, Dave texted me saying I overreacted and that I embarrassed him in front of our friends. He claimed I was making a big deal out of nothing and that he was just trying to lighten the mood.

Some of our mutual friends think I could have handled it better, but others agree that Dave had it coming. So, AITA for snapping at my friend after he asked an inappropriate question about my short boyfriend?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

forever_single_now −  NTA. Just out of curiosity, you sure he is not into you? His “jokes” might just be an expression of his frustration that a “shorter” guy was able to get what he couldn’t. It’s not that usual for guys to focus that much in hight. That’s why I ask.

Careful-Working4787 −  You’re definitely **NTA** for snapping at Dave. He was being disrespectful, and his “jokes” were crossing the line into hurtful territory, especially since he’d been repeatedly making comments about Jake’s height.

You tried to let it slide initially, but there’s only so much teasing someone can take before it becomes a pattern of disrespect. Jake didn’t deserve to be ridiculed, and neither did you. Standing up for him (and yourself) was the right thing to do.

Dave should’ve realized his comments were inappropriate, especially after you made it clear they weren’t funny. It sounds like he was the one who embarrassed himself by behaving like a j**k, and it’s not on you to protect his feelings when he was being hurtful.

If anything, Dave should apologize to both you and Jake for being so insensitive. You didn’t overreact—you stood up for your relationship and set a clear boundary. Keep your head up!

Blazervitch −  I think Dave is jealous as he wants to be with you, so is trying to make you self conscious about being with Jake and hopefully leave him.

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. Dave is a j**k. Jerks hate being called out.

Roxxana_Aimie −  NTA (Not the A-hole). Dave’s “jokes” were way out of line, disrespectful to both you and your boyfriend, and frankly, just plain rude. You were right to defend your boyfriend and call out Dave’s inappropriate behavior.

prettyyypeacock −  No, you’re not the a**hole. Dave’s comments were disrespectful and crossing boundaries. It’s important to stand up for your partner when they’re being disrespected, especially in public.

Cute_Beat7013 −  NTA – I would have said fewer – but much harsher – words in your place, namely among the lines of asking Dave whether it’s his tragically disproportionate anatomy that makes him harp on Jake’s height.

EmptyPomegranete −  NTA. He is insecure and insulting you about it because he does not believe himself to be valuable outside of his own height- hence he cannot understand why a shorter man would have value for a woman. So he is insulting your bf in order to repair his damaged ego.

0hShaSha −  NTA , Dave wouldn’t even feel like he ever did something wrong, if you didn’t mention it to him.. That’s not over reacting that is, the appropriate reaction for his behaviour. He has already crossed the lines many times. And if he was so worried about being embarrassed in front of his friends he shouldn’t have done something that would have made him embarrassed.

Alarming-Specific-89 −  F**K YOU DAVE!!

Was her reaction too harsh, or did Dave cross a line? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!