AITA: my roommate wants me to move out so his girlfriend can move in?

A Redditor shared a tricky situation about living with his best friend for years in a two-bedroom basement suite. The friend now wants his girlfriend to move in, but instead of living together, he’s asked the Redditor to move out so they can have the place to themselves.

Given the high rent costs in their city, the Redditor is unsure if this is a reasonable request or an inconsiderate one. Read the full story below to dive into the details and share your thoughts!

‘ AITA: my roommate wants me to move out so his girlfriend can move in?’

Me (29 M) and my roommate (27 M) have been best friends for almost 15 years. We grew up together in the prairies of Canada and had planned on moving to the west coast for quite some time. He moved to the west coast about 7 years ago, then I moved here 4 years ago when I finished college. I moved in to the two bedroom basement suite he has been renting for about 5 years.

Lots of our other friends have lived here and moved out but currently it is just us two, and has been since I moved here. It may be worth noting there is no formal lease, we just pay cash to the family that lives upstairs. It is worth noting that our place is well below the average price of the city. Known as one of the most expensive places to live, we are getting a great deal.

He has been dating his current girlfriend for just over a year now and just mentioned that they are starting to talk about moving in together. She lives in a studio apartment alone currently.

He mentioned that they have been thinking about doing the move in about a year from now in August 2025, before she goes back to school. And that they have been looking at places here and there but are thinking that if she just moves in to our place, he wants me to move out so they can be alone.

This seems like a bit of an inconsiderate suggestion, when moving out would easily quadruple my rent payments. I understand he gave a lot of notice, and he has been at this place longer. But if they shared a one bedroom apartment, his rent would double (still somewhat affordable) and hers would be cut in half. I am completely open to her moving in with us, but that wasn’t even mentioned.

I just have no reference it this is a normal suggestion, to me the normal options are to ask if it’s cool if she moves in with us, or they move into their own place. So, am I the a**hole for thinking this is a strange suggestion?
TLDR: My roommate suggested that he might want his girlfriend to move in to our place, but he would want me to move out.

Edit: The place we live in is cheap enough where either of us can afford it on our own, but a one bedroom alone is almost out of reach at either of our income. To really break it down, moving away from this place would 4x or 5x rent payments. But a 2x increase if he moved out or if I moved out and left him alone would be welcome given the extra space.

This situation has been talked about in the past as he considered moving abroad a couple of years ago. Our conversations in the past have always been that we would keep renting this cheap place while saving money to eventually buy a condo or something. A feat which is basically impossible to do at the average rent costs in our city. (A very highly talked about topic locally)

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Competitive_Slip1803 −  YOU already live there. If she wants to move in, then that’s fine. Three’s Company. If they want their privacy, then they can look for their own place to live. SHE’S the one that needs to establish herself somewhere new, not you. NTA.

anxiety_watermelon −  **NAH.** You’re not an a**hole for feeling like the suggestion is a bit off, especially considering that moving out would massively increase your living expenses in a city with high rent.

It makes sense that you’re surprised, especially since the idea of her moving in without you being part of the equation wasn’t even discussed. You’ve been roommates for years, and you likely envisioned that any changes like this would involve a conversation where all options are on the table.

At the same time, your roommate isn’t an a**hole either. From his perspective, he’s thinking about the next step in his relationship and wants to have a place where he and his girlfriend can be alone. He gave you a year’s notice, which is a considerable amount of time to plan and adjust. He’s been in the apartment longer and probably feels that it’s fair for him to make a decision that prioritizes his future with his partner.

Ultimately, both of you are coming at this from your own perspectives. He’s trying to make room for his relationship, and you’re understandably concerned about the financial hit and being suddenly displaced from a place you’ve called home.

It’s just a tough situation where no one’s being malicious. Open communication might help you both find a middle ground or, at the very least, ensure there are no hard feelings as you navigate this transition.

ExpectedBehaviour −  NTA. If your roommate wants to move in with his girlfriend then the onus is on him to move in to a new place with her, not force you out of your existing arrangement if you don’t want to go.

Aggressive_Cup8452 −  You say that other friends also lived there and moved out in the past.. was the expectation that you would also eventually move out.. but you overstayed your welcome for the last 5 years?

BeterP −  I moved in to the two bedroom basement suite he has been renting for about 5 years. That sounds temporarily by definition. I’m sorry, he is not being unreasonable. I don’t see a conflict (yet), don’t make one. Find a new place. NAH.

Rapacious_Reader −  Soft YTA. You said that you moved in after college, so you should have a professional job. And you admitted that your rent currently is well below market value. So that means you should have a nice chunk saved to put towards another place.

He even gave you a years notice so you can save more and look for a great deal. Sounds like this is a solid friend and he hooked you up with a great deal. Don’t make it awkward or ruin your friendship over this. He’s trying to take his relationship to the next level, yall aren’t kids anymore.

Only-Actuator-5329 −  YTA it was his apartment initially, he invited you to be his room mate amongst others. It sounds like room mates come and go but its ultimately the property he sourced and was the original tenant, your the +1.

He has given you plenty of notice. Without him to begin with, you wouldn’t have been living so cheaply, unfortunately when people get partners things change. You can’t kick him out of the apartment he found.

draynaccarato −  It’s perfectly normal. To quote Joey, we’re not Bert and Earnie!

xHandy_Andy −  YTA. He found the great deal and made a relationship with the family above YEARS before you moved there. He did all the legwork to setup terms. He gave you a 1 year notice which is plenty of time. You’re both almost 30, it’s about time to start thinking of life without roommates. 

Paddy_GoLightly −  Has this story come from Friends”?…. is your room mates name “Monica” by any chance, and you are called “Rachel”. Seem exactly like the Friends storyline where Monica was in the flat first, Rachel then moved in, now Monica wants Rachel out so her BF Chandler can move in…. story down to a T, including the fact.that the apartment is dirt cheap.