AITAH for telling my husband he has no right to tell me what to do with my body?

A Redditor shared a heated disagreement with her husband after deciding to model for an acquaintance’s underwear line. Despite being married for seven years, she firmly believes that decisions regarding her body are hers to make, but her husband’s strong opposition has created conflict. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for telling my husband he has no right to tell me what to do with my body?’

My husband (m38) and I (f42) have been together for 7 years. Married for 5. We have a son together who is 4. We love each other. I respect my husband’s opinion but ultimately I’m the one to decide over my body. An acquaintance of min and his husband have a small gym wear company and now they have expanded with swimwear and underwear.

It is not very well known company but apparently they do well. Now they asked me to stand model to their underwear line. They’re having models of different ages etc. When I told my husband I didn’t expect him to fly off the handle. He was very angry and told me I was not allowed to do it.

I’m sorry but NO? Yeah, *I don’t want your body out there for everyone to see*. I mean what does he even mean? I always wear bikinis on the beach so whats the difference? Every woman wears bikinis and underwear. AITAH to tell him that he doesn’t decide over my body?

Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:

Accomplished_Yam_422 −  I’d be proud if some company asked my wife to do this ….

NessOnett8 −  I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is probably not a word for word summary of exactly what was said. And the specific words used are pretty important here. But overall, he can be uncomfortable with it and ask you not to.

You have no obligation to listen to him. But when couples completely ignore each other’s wishes out of spite, it tends to hurt the relationship. Like with everything else. You’re free to do it. But you’re not free from the consequences of doing it.

WeaverofW0rlds −  It’s your body and you can do what you want with it. However, sometimes doing what you want with it may have consequences you don’t want to pay. It sounds like Pride and Insecurities are on a collision course here. The question is, can you two find a common ground and work this out?

Fun_Concentrate_7844 −  You can do whatever you want in life. For the most part, it’s a free country. At least it sounds like it is where you are. But for every action, there is a reaction, whether positive or negative. So you want to model. Your husband doesn’t want you to.

Sure, you can do it, but what are the possible repercussions? Your husband is irrated, but gets over it? Or maybe he doesn’t get over it, and it’s a relationship ender? You have to ask yourself what this is worth to you? Is it worth the possibility of ending your relationship over? If it is, go for it. Example in my life. I used to have a Harley.

I loved that bike. I used to ride a couple of times a week. My wife has had 2 close family members killed on bikes. She asked me not to ride because she would have panic attacks until I got home. One day, I got home and found her crying. I knew if I kept riding, our relationship could be in jeopardy.

She was way more important than a motorcycle, so I got rid of it and haven’t ridden in over 35 years. Do I miss it? Yep. Do I regret it? No. Your husband handled the situation like an ass. Telling someone what they can or can’t do usually results in the opposite results.

But sit down with him and see if there is a solution that would appease both of you. I will say I wouldn’t be happy with my wife doing underwear modeling. Once it’s on the internet, it’s there forever. Unless it’s more like sports bras and matching bottoms, underwear is a little more intimate than bikinis.

Anyone telling you to just do it and f the outcome has obviously never been in a long term healthy relationship. It takes communication and, at times, compromise. Edit to add. Thank you for all the awards! Also, to those who can’t understand this isn’t an apples to apples comparison but about communication and compromise, I don’t know how to help you any more than that.

heavenisatruck1 −  He has every right to not be ok with it. You have the right to do it anyway. I genuinely think a conversation is needed here.

Prudii_Skirata −  Tricky situation. He has no right to tell you what to do, but… if his opinions are strong enough on the topic, he does have the right to remove himself from a situation where he has no say.

OctoberBearBoatwrigh −  NTA, you’re absolutely right, it’s your body and you have every right to decide what to do with it, just keep in mind that logic can be used to justify a lot of things that people will consider dealbreakers in a relationship. NTA, but that doesn’t mean your husband WBTA if he’s not okay with it. His “I forbid you” attitude is complete bs though.

RedSAuthor −  I would be flattered by such offer. However, I wouldn’t accept without discussing it with my husband. If he is not 100% and supportive of my body shown for others to see, I would pass on this. One temp gig wouldn’t be worth rocking my marriage.

Did you tell him you got the offer, or did you tell him you are doing it regardless of what he said – because it’s your body? There is a difference. Also, would you be OK if roles are reversed? I would assume that a monogamous man wouldn’t be happy with the idea of other people seeing his wife with clothing that leaves nothing to imagination.

FireWater107 −  To repeat what some others said already, you have every right to do what you want with your body, he has every right NOT to be okay with it. I’m going to jump to an exaggerated example of such a t thing. Mentioning first so you don’t think I’m saying they’re “totally the same thing.” Say you got an offer to do porn? Legal, paid porn.

You’re allowed. He does NOT have to be okay with that. So not ‘porn’, but got an offer to do a much more sexually charged modeling job. Maybe not even ‘adult model’ level of nudity, but clearly partial nudity. Or even pg-13 nudity, but an obvious sexual overtone. Now a step away from that, is your modeling in underwear/swimwear.

So to reclarify, they are NOT the same thing… but clearly there’s a line being drawn somewhere on what’s considered ‘acceptable’. And that line is different for different people. There are people out there who would be absolutely 100% comfortable with their SO doing porn.

There are people who would not be comfortable modeling AT ALL… even if their SO didn’t have an issue whatsoever. He doesn’t get to dictate ‘what you do with your body’, but he is your husband and if he’s uncomfortable with it… it frankly doesn’t matter who on the internet sides with you or him.

People have different ‘lines’ they’d draw. You need to talk to him and come to an understanding. That ‘understanding’ might be an agreement, a compromise, or an ultimatum. But neither one of you is automatically100% in the right (or the wrong) here. A conversation is necessary, and an understanding should be reached.

Antiphon4 −  Of course he has the right to tell you he’s not ok with it. You have the right to do it. He has the right to walk away from the relationship.
If you don’t want a partnership with him, make that known. If you do, then he gets a say in what you do and you get a say in what he does.

Is the OP right to assert that her body, her choice should override her husband’s concerns? Or is her husband justified in wanting a say, given their marriage? How would you handle this kind of disagreement in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!