WIBTA if I told my sister I don’t want to hang out with her?

A college freshman feels torn about her sister wanting to visit for Halloween. While she loves her sister and wants to support her during tough times, she worries that her sister’s personality doesn’t mesh with her new friend group or the party scene.

She is unsure whether to tell her sister not to come, fearing it might negatively impact her mental health, but also feels it’s important to prioritize her own social life in college. read the original story below…

‘ WIBTA if I told my sister I don’t want to hang out with her?’

I am a college freshman. My sister goes to college about an hour away from me. We do text each other a lot and lately she has been feeling depressed/anxious so last weekend I went to go visit her just to go check on her and to hopefully help with her mental health.

Since starting college I have made a friend group and I pretty much go out to parties with them every weekend. My sister texted me yesterday and asked if she could come hang out with me and my friends on Halloween because she wants to see me and she hasn’t been doing well mentally.

I said that she could come but the truth is I really don’t want her to come. I love my sister and I do enjoy seeing her. My sisters personality just doesn’t fit the personality of my friend group or the parties we go too. I also didn’t really come to college to hang out with my sister at parties. I came to college to hang out with new people.

I want to tell my sister I don’t want her to come but I feel like I would be the AH if I told her not to come especially considering her mental health right now but I feel like it isn’t my job to help with her mental health.

On Halloween I really just wanted to hang out with my friends and go out and party. WIBTA if I told my sister I don’t want her to come on Halloween. Especially considering I just visited her last weekend.

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Caspian4136 −  YTA. Your sister is struggling and reaching out to you for help and you….only want to go to parties every weekend?? I get you’re in college, having fun and made a new friend group, that’s normal. But she’s not asking for every weekend, come on now.

Also, if your new friends can’t handle one night at a party with your sister on Halloween, they’re s**t friends. Good friends would extend a hand to her on your behalf.

HolSmGamer −  YWBTA since you already said she could come. What’s wrong with her personality that it would clash in a party setting?

Junelady04 −  YTA. It would be pretty s**tty to tell her you don’t want her to come when you already told her she could. Just let her go to the party with you. You said that you go to parties every weekend so I don’t think her going to one party with you will hurt.

She’s mentally suffering and probably feels alone. Maybe going to the party will help cheer her up and maybe she could even make some friends.

laughinglovinglivid −  YWBTA only because you’ve already told her she could come. In future though, just be honest with her if you already have plans, as long as you’re not blowing her off constantly this should be okay with her, and you’re still being a good sister.

chez2202 −  YWBTA. It’s ONE party. It won’t affect your friend group in any way.If anything it will convince your sister that she won’t want to do it again because she has nothing in common with your friends.

She might also meet people she DOES click with and if she decides that she wants to visit again she would hang out with them rather than with you. You could really help her out here so it’s time to take one for the team.

Wolfelle −  I think YTA it seems like u two are close and shes directly asked you for help because shes in a bad place. Youve already said yes. If someone you love is struggling i think its good to put them first. I think its a situation where you arent technically wrong if you say no but are still TA.

Eastern-Warthog-6946 −  YTA.. How much does it ‘cost’ you to not just show empathy but to extend your hand in such a bad time for her. Showing up is the best thing you can do.. but you feel that any damper on your social life is inconvenient.. says a great deal about your character

Valuable_Argument_44 −  Genuine question. If anything happened to her, accident or otherwise, how would you feel bailing on her for parties? Get your priorities straight now or you’re going to face that heartache one day with someone.

6666noneya6666 −  YTA. Perfect partying isn’t an important priority.

TheDogsBolloczz −  It sounds like your sister is struggling…

Is it wrong for her to prioritize her own college experience over her sister’s needs? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!