AITA because I stopped cooking dinner for my husband and son?

A Reddit user shared her frustrations over cooking for her husband and son, who have become increasingly picky eaters. Despite preparing a variety of delicious meals, they often refuse to eat, leaving her feeling unappreciated.

After years of dealing with their growing food aversions, she finally stopped cooking altogether, and now they fend for themselves. Feeling less stressed but unsure if she’s in the wrong, she wonders if she’s being unreasonable. Read the full story below to see how she handled the situation!

‘ AITA because I stopped cooking dinner for my husband and son?’

I (37 f) am fed up with making dinner only for my husband (39M) and son (13M) to usually not eat it. They have both become the most unbearable pickiest eaters on the planet and I’m so sick of their s**t.

At first I was able to make at least 10 different dishes out of their picky eating habits, so i’d rotate those out. Over these last few years they have both gotten worse with their picky eating to the point where there’s only like 3 different dishes they will eat that I cook.

I cook really good, I am spanish and my mother taught me how to make so many different cultural dishes as well as “Americanized” dishes. My husband is American italian, he won’t eat anything that isnt American/italian but hes even pickier than that.

To give you an example he will only eat white meat chicken that isn’t touching any bone, he will never touch seafood…he told me that he used to be the person that would only order chicken fingers at a restaurant so im married to the adult version of that kid.

My son has recently started following in his image. My son used to have a wide palette and would try anything but not anymore, all of a sudden he cant handle anything just like my husband (they arent even blood related, my husband is stepfather) They used to loved my dishes and I used to get a lot of praise for how good my cooking was Im not sure why over time they have become the pickiest eaters!

Now all i get is “im not hungry right now i’ll eat later” and then they dont touch the food and it goes to waste. Or straight up “i’m not eating that” when it is perfectly delicious and edible.

Im so sick of the two of them that I have refused to cook for a couple months now and my husband brought it up like it was a problem that im not making any of the 3 damn boring ass dishes he can handle. I’m sick of cooking these 3 dishes, and sometimes they wont even eat that!!

They’ve been fending for themselves for dinner and I feel way less stressed out now. And just so you know I work full time just like my husband does so why he can’t do the cooking if he wants to be so picky I don’t understand, apparently because I have the vagina I’m the one expected to cook, over it! I come home from work ready to eat dinner but will he cook it, no?

So Ive been having to just have a “girl dinner” by myself which usually consists of cheese and crackers. I think im just ranting at this point, I wish someone else would mind dinner and I didnt have to be responsible anymore, anyway do you think im an a**hole?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Fancy-Priority9863 −  Nta but start cooking nice food for you , you deserve that . Let them eat the mundane.

madpiratebippy −  I am pretty sure that a penis is not going to fall off if he cooks and refusing to cook for him is totally valid. I think your kid is imitating him and I’ve seen kids get pickier and pickier because it gets parental attention. Like when Mom isn’t looking the kid will scarf down whatever but when Mom’s looking, they won’t touch anything and whine.

If you’re working full time maybe have a thing with your son where you go to a restaurant, one week he picks one week you pick, just as individual bonding time. This helped a LOT when my stepson was going through this (his bio mom could not cook at all) so the rule was he had to try things, he didn’t have to finish them, and if he didn’t eat when we were out I’d make him mac and cheese at home.

Kid ended up adoring lentils and Ethiopian food and eventually tried everything just because. The combination of no negative pressure, some extra hang out time where I learned a ton about Pokemon, and a backup option really helped him not become a super picky eater.

Luthien_Tinuviel411 −  I quit cooking for my partner because he was ridiculously picky, doesn’t care if he lives off frozen dinners and processed crap and has no value or praise for home cooking. I eat wonderful meals while he microwaves a frozen pot pie and feels fine about it. I find it sad and disappointing but you can’t make people value good home cooking if they don’t.

jeffprop −  NTA. Reminds me of a reply someone made to someone with picky eaters a while ago. They told their family they can eat what she made, or make their own dinner and put bread, peanut butter, and jelly out on the kitchen counter. After a few days, they were miraculously cured of their picky eating.

Initial-Company3926 −  NTA. But why are you eating only cheese and crackers?You can finally use all your cooking skills and make wonderful food, you can enjoy, without stressing about wether they will eat it or not. Imagine all the recipes you can finally make 🙂

I am a bit bit concerned though, about your boy. He is imitating his dad. Does he get the vitamins and minerals he need? He is still growing and needs it
On the plusside since dad is the one who wants it, he can cook it, and also cook for your son 🙂 Also: your son is 13. Old enough to make his own food.

Disastrous-Panda5530 −  Cook for yourself and only yourself. NTA. I stopped cooking for my husband also long ago. I got tired of being the one who had to cook AND clean up after dinner. I was already almost always making something separate for my son.

He has autism and has some sensory issues and he has a crap ton of food allergies. And sometimes my husband would complain he didn’t want to eat what I was making or didn’t like it and there were nights I made 3 separate meals. Yes. Three. And had to clean up everything.

I work full time just like him as well. I got off earlier so I started cooking for only me and my two kids. He got home at 6 so we ate at about 5-5:30pm. I made sure there were no leftovers. A few times I ate an extra serving so he couldn’t have it. Petty I know but I was past the point of petty.

I got pretty good at making exactly enough. The only time I made extra for leftovers I could have for lunch the next day was when it was something he didn’t like and I knew he wouldn’t eat it. Just like your husband he went out and bought a bunch of frozen meals. He got so tired of it.

Not to mention they are expensive and it adds up. He said he would clean up. So I said ok. Made dinner and afterwards he was too tired to clean and said he’d do it tomorrow. I always load up the dishwasher and clean the kitchen before bed. At the time we were renting a house and the kitchen was small. Idk about you but I hate waking up to a messy kitchen and having to cook in it.

So I stopped again. Even when he promised he would clean. I let him fend for himself. He said it was embarrassing because the guys at work asked him why he wasn’t brining leftovers for lunch. Why I didn’t pack him something to eat for lunch (I stopped doing that also).

He did learn how to cook. He cooks every night now. He did eventually start cleaning up. Not just the kitchen but after himself when I told him not to come home day. I was going 100% housework and taking care of the kids on top of also working full time. That is what it took for him to start pulling his weight. It’s been about a decade and he still does his fair share and still cooks. Even cooks for the kids.

TopAd7154 −  NTA. They’re old enough to sort themselves out.
My husband doesn’t eat vegetables. It’s pathetic. I’m worried our sons will do the same. 

CaptMcPlatypus −  He doesn’t like what you cook anyway, so what’s his problem with you not cooking for him? Cook amazing and adventurous dinners for yourself and he and your son can just watch from the buttered n**dle sidelines.

One of my kids is inclined towards picky eating, but I have always told her that nobody here is a short order cook, so she can eat what’s for dinner or go make herself something nutritious that she finds palatable. She cannot, however, badmouth the dinner that someone else so generously made.

So far she’s lazier than she is picky, so she usually can find some part of the dinner to eat, and she’ll at least try the other bits. She’ll either grow out of it, or be responsible for feeding herself. Either way, it’s not going to be my problem even if she wants it to be. (She’s twelve and competent enough to make some basic dishes. I’m not totally heartless.)

False_Dragonfly_2047 −  You made your own monsters by tolerating this from them. In my mothers house if you complained , the plate was taken away, and you were sent to bed. I do not think your an a**hole but stop making only food they like, tell them “this or nothing” Do not tolerate it . Make balanced meals you would like, and if they want to starve, or do take out that’s on them.

SockMaster9273 −  NTA. Cook what you want for yourself and if they won’t eat it, I’m sure there are things in the fridge that can be used to make a sandwich. You put effort into your food so they can either apprestate it or make their own food. Don’t put up with it anymore.