AITA for telling my sister she has no say in what i do for my subject choices?

A 15-year-old boy shares frustration after his sister criticized his subject choices, particularly his decision to take drama. Despite wanting to pursue acting and voice acting, his sister insisted drama was useless and suggested biology instead, which he dislikes.

Feeling overwhelmed by her negativity, he told her she had no say in his life choices, causing tension on the ride home. Now, he regrets snapping at her and wonders if he was wrong for standing up for his passions. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my sister she has no say in what i do for my subject choices?’

I (15m) was picking up my sister (17f) from her boyfriend’s house. Let’s call her A. I asked her how it was and she said that it was fine (i only know now that it was in an annoyed tone because im autistic and have trouble telling tones). I started talking to my mom (driver) about my subject choices for next year.

I am going into grade 10 and need to pick subjects to do (this excludes english, afrikaans and LO as they are compulsory). A heard this and asked what i would be taking. I said pure maths, physics, drama and art. She then went on a whole talk about how drama was a terrible choice and i was making a mistake choosing it.

She said that i wasn’t going to use it because i could never get into acting. She doesn’t know that i really want to get into acting and voice acting. She justifies herself saying that i can’t get into acting because i can’t lie and hide it. A said that her school doesn’t even offer it anymore because it was useless.

I then snapped and said that she has no say in what i do in my life and that her school doesn’t offer drama anymore because no one cares for it there. I do admit that that wasn’t a nice thing to say and i regret saying it. I started getting teary eyed and didn’t say anything after that.

A said that i should be taking bio instead because it was actually useful. My mom said that i could choose anything i want and that i hate bio (i actually am terrible at it). They started arguing back and forth about my life and i can’t really remember much after that (i was dissociating and very o**rwhelmed).

It ended in silence the rest of the way home. As soon as we got home i went to my bedroom and crocheted until like 9pm (creativity is my main coping mechanism). I am typing this the day after this happened and feel bad for what happened.. AITA?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Conscious_Way_6366 −  NTA. Your life, your decision. Your sister is e**itled to her opinion, but is not e**itled to pressure you into something you don’t want. Taking a subject that you don’t like and are bad at makes cero sense. You are just going to have a hard time all year and get bad grades.

Being autistic is already exhausting enough, don’t make your life pointlessly harder.  Your sister probably wants the best for you, but there are things she cannot understand.  And, by the way, you are already doing math and phisics, which are very “useful” subjects if in the end you want to take another route in life than acting. You will be fine.

_s1m0n_s3z −  I can see how drama might be *extremely* useful for someone with autism who struggles with ‘telling tones’. Drama seems like it would be concentrated practice in exactly that. NTA.

Rare_Sugar_7927 −  Regardless of if you make it as an actor or not, drama actually is very useful. It helps build relationships and emotional intelligence. I think for someone with Autism it could be useful to see emotions expressed, and to have to express them yourself might help you learn how to differentiate them. Do what you want, and don’t stress too much about your sister, there’s a good chance she’s already forgotten the conversation. NTA

Beautiful_Sweet_8686 −  First off I want to tell you don’t you ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. I’m a woman, very old, grew up in the 70s in a very back woods part of the U.S. where you would swear it was still the 1950s.

I was constantly told what I “needed” to do with my life because thats just what women do and what I couldn’t do “there’s no way you can do that.” I’m telling you kid I pushed myself harder than I ever had before and I did all those things I was told that I couldn’t and I used all those naysayers comment to fuel my rage when I wanted to quit and give up.

I lived a life that most people never would or could and I have stories and memories for days because of it. You can do pretty much anything you set your mind to and if you fail you pick yourself up and you try again. Life is all about struggling to get what you want, failing and the choice to either give up or try again and push harder.

Do not get frustrated and just quit either. Your Autism may delay things and seem to hold you back, but that just means that you have to try harder, push further and maybe fall a lot more than others before you reach your goals, but just don’t quit. If in the end you do completely fail thats ok too, just make sure you enjoy the ride and make a lot of memories to take you into your old age.

I read a scientific study a few years ago and I really wish I could remember how to find it again that said that some scientists believe that Autism is a new level/step in human develop that just hasn’t worked itself out complexly yet. So I say weaponize your Autism and make it work for you.

I also want to suggest you speak with your sister about what happened. She may have just been trying to give you some “big sister” advice and look out for you, but screwed up the delivery royally.

If thats not the case then chalk sis up to one of those naysayers and prove her freaking wrong and then when your 30 years old and the most popular celebrity in the world start throwing it in her face every chance you get lol. Good luck to you kid, just don’t ever give up.

rachelbeane −  NTA, you are right she has no say in what you choose now or in life. My daughter (18) is autistic and started crocheting at about your age and she now has a business helping her with college doing what she enjoys and helps her ground. You do you and enjoy.

wtf_idk_maybecheese −  NTA, it’s your education and your choice. Parents having a say is one thing, but siblings can b**t out. I did drama for a levels and I now conduct wedding ceremonies. It’s a lovely job that I wouldn’t have the confidence for without that drama background.

I’m also diagnosed adhd and suspect autism, and I think doing drama is the main reason I learned to mask enough to get by in this crazy world.

UnsolicitedThorn −  Choose what you want, ignore your sister. You have your mums support, all is well.

Kaynico −  NTA. You can choose whatever electives you want, for whatever reasons you want.  It’s better to do something you’re good at and enjoy than to try to add a class that you have no interest in and will likely drag down your grades.

wickedAurore −  u’re NTA. It’s ok to be upset when ur sister dismisses ur passions. Maybe she’s worried about u, but her delivery wasn’t great. Try talking to her calmly later and explain why drama is important to u.

lncognithrowaway −  NTA. If you feel like this is something you want to do in the future. If that’s true, then it IS useful.. you WILL use it.. you WILL need it.. also “you can’t lie and hide it”? that’s where the LEARNING aspect comes in. But irregardless it’s a given choice for a reason, do what you want.

Was he justified in defending his choices, or should he have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!