AITA for refusing to teach a kid how to swim?

A 23-year-old woman enjoys swimming at a pool with designated areas for serious swimming and learning. While swimming laps, she accidentally bumped into a young boy struggling to swim in the deeper lane. Concerned, she helped him out and informed his mother about the safety issue.

The mother dismissed the concern and suggested the woman should teach her son since she’s a frequent swimmer. The woman declined, explaining she’s not an instructor, not responsible for the child’s safety, and swims to relax. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to teach a kid how to swim?’

I (23f) go to a swimming pool once or twice a week. It’s a way for me to do physical exercise and to take my mind off school or just life in general. The pool that I go to has two pools: one for fun and one for “real” swimming if you see what I mean. The “real” pool has two different sides, one where people swim seriously and one where people learn how to swim.

I normally go to the “serious” part. You aren’t supposed to stop in the serious one, or to go if you can’t swim well because it’s pretty deep (3-4 meters I think). Yesterday, I was swimming as I usually do, and at some point I start doing backstroke. At one point, I feel my hand hitting something, so I turn back to see what it was and I see a kid that was about 6 or 7.

I apologize for hitting him because I didn’t see him, and tell him that he’s not supposed to stop in this lane because other people might hit him too. As I talk to him I notice that he isn’t swimming really well and is struggling a lot. I decide to get out of the pool with him and look for his parents. After looking around the pool for a while I find his mother.

At this pool, if you’re accompanying a child you can get in for free if you don’t swim, and that’s what the mom did so she wasn’t swimming and was waiting while looking on her phone. I told her that she should look after her son because it was pretty dangerous for him to be in such a deep pool when he couldn’t swim very well and that he could get hit by swimmers.

She looked at me a bit annoyed. She said “it’s okay he’s just a kid”. I told her that I wasn’t upset at him, and that I was just concerned for his safety. She told me that if I was so concerned, when I saw a child struggling to swim I could’ve helped him and taught him.

I simply said that it wasn’t my role, but she sort of insisted, said that she saw me swimming pretty often and asked that I teach her son. I told her that I wouldn’t because 1. I’m not a swimming instructor, I have zero training for this 2.

I don’t want to be responsible for the boy’s life, if anything happens it’s on me and that’s more pressure than I want 3. I’m not getting paid to do that and 4. I come here to relax, not teach kids. She told me that it wasn’t nice that I wasn’t helping her, because she couldn’t teach her son (she can’t swim) and I was a good swimmer so it wasn’t difficult for me.

I know that I could’ve helped, and maybe at least taught him the basics for like an hour, and a part of me thinks that I should’ve, but also I had my reasons for refusing. I’m not sure if that makes me a bad person or not… AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Caspian4136 −  NTA. Where were the lifeguards during all of this? It’s their job to monitor this exact thing.

Kaynico −  NTA. Let the lifeguard/pool do their job.  Inform them that an unsupervised minor is struggling to swim, blocking the swim lane, and creating hazards for himself and others. A disappointed kid is better than a dead one – crap mom can get off her phone long enough to learn that lesson *without* having to watch her kid go through CPR.

xcylfai −  NTA – do not let her guilt you into teaching her son swimming. Apart from the fact you aren’t trained? I guarantee anything goes wrong then you’ll be made out to be the reason. If she wants her son to learn how to swim? She can find a qualified and insured instructor!

Nevermore_Novelist −  NTA. Let me get this straight: this mother brought her son to a pool. The son can’t swim. The mother can’t swim. The mother can’t be bothered to pay attention to her son at a pool, where the potential for him to injure himself (or worse) is significant.

When you, a stranger, bring this mother her son and explain where he was and why it was a bad idea for him to be there when he cannot swim, this mother decides it’s acceptable to suggest that you (again, a stranger who does *not* work for the pool) teach her son how to swim.

If I have that right, then your course is clear. Report her to the pool staff. They’re in a much better position to deal with her nonsense than you. Again, just to be clear, you are NTA.

chaenukyun −  NTA. If it happens again ask if she’d rather you call the police for negligence or when he drowns. She’s unbelievably irresponsible, and endangering his life. Also, why should a stranger, a non professional, accept the liability of teaching someone’s child to swim? Especially when the parent doesn’t appear to care for his safety.

She can be as sarcastic and annoyed as she wants, but this is actually ridiculous. It’s a serious situation and she’s lucky you accidentally hit him and brought him to safety. She should really change her perspective and realize how differently that day could’ve gone if you didn’t swim into her son.

LittleFairyOfDeath −  I refuse to believe this is real. For my sanity

crosslace1 −  NTA. As you said you are not a swim instructor nor have you advertised yourself as such. If this pool works similarly to the pools I have worked for, they offer swim lessons as a group or even individually. Asking a random person who found your kid struggling in an area of the pool he should not have been in is W I L D.

BoyzMom13 −  NTA and REPORT HER TO THE STAFF

Content-Plenty-268 −  NTA. All your reasons for declining are absolutely sound. You can’t just take on the responsibility and especially the liability for someone else’s kid while his mom is not paying attention. She basically wants free services from you for no reason.

CarbonationRequired −  NTA. She’s at a pool. She can go sign up for swimming classes.

Do you think she was right to say no, or should she have offered help? Share your opinions below!