AITA because i didnt made take away breakfast for my husband but me?

A 32-year-old mom of two recently started college while juggling household tasks and caring for her husband, who is recovering from surgery. Despite reminding him several times to make his own breakfast, her husband still expected her to prepare it.

When she made breakfast only for herself one morning, he accused her of being petty. She explained she had warned him earlier, emphasizing the importance of him stepping up. read the original story below…

‘ AITA because i didnt made take away breakfast for my husband but me? ‘

So here is the thing: Me (32) and my husband have two kids (2;4). For a couple weeks now i attend collage after beeing home for the kids for 4 years now. They go to Kindergarten.

The last weeks my husband was often unhappy that he didnt had any breakfast he could take to work with him and i told him several times he would have to make himself some the evening before because time is tight.

Besides getting kids ready for school and taking care of him (he had a surgery and his wound needs some care every day and as im a nurse i gladly take care of it) i also have to get ready myself now. Everyone wants something from me and at the end there is just no time to make some bagel or something. He often got angry about it but let it go.

So last Friday i told him that he has to make himself some breakfast the night before (as many times before) or wont have any anymore as i take care of everything myself already. If he wants some breakfast he now has to step up for himself as im not his maid or mom.

And if we want to be loving Partners he cant blame me for it and treat me more like his maid then spouse. So yesterday evening came and i reminded him to make himself something. He went to bed without doing so while I cleaned up the rest of the house (just a quick 10 min refresh) and made myself food for the morning. Put it in the fridge.

This morning time was short again. He did bring the kids to Kindergarten. Before he left the house he he saw me packing my breakfast in my backpack and he asked me where his is. I said i dont know. Did u make yourself some? He said no and claimed im beeing petty made myself some but not him.

I said i reminded him to make himself some or he wont have some. Obviously we went out the house stressed about it. Yes i could have made him some but if i dont do it like this he will never step up for himself. Now i feel more like his mom then ever as i have to „educate“ him about such simple stuff but feel like i have too.

Hope i raise my son better then that 🙄 But AITA for not making my husband a take away breakfast but me?

Check out how the community responded:

ParsimoniousSalad −  NTA. He’s not your child, and apparently his arms aren’t broken. He can make his own breakfast. He can even make his children’s breakfast so it’s not all on you.

Jocelyn-1973 −  NTA. I don’t even get why it needs to be done the evening before. Making breakfast and lunch to bring to work costs me exactly 3 minutes in the morning. If your husband can’t spare 3 minutes in the morning, he should get up earlier. And if he can’t make his breakfast in 3 minutes, he needs the practice. Or change his diet. Or get up even earlier.

Bayoris −  NTA. I don’t even understand this question. I’ve never heard of anyone making breakfast the night before. Why doesn’t he just have a couple slices of toast or a bowl of cereal at home like everyone else? Why does anyone have to make anything?

epp-a-lep84 −  NTA (Not the A**hole). As men, we need to embody the values of self-sufficiency, responsibility, and respect for our partners. It’s important to provide, protect, and be disciplined, but also to share the load at home. Expecting your partner to handle everything, especially when they are already managing so much, is not fair or respectful.

In this situation, your husband should take responsibility for his own breakfast, especially after being reminded multiple times. It’s not about being petty; it’s about ensuring that both partners contribute equally and support each other. This approach fosters a healthier, more balanced relationship where both partners feel valued and respected.

Men should be strong, selfless, and kind, and part of that is taking care of themselves and not relying on their partners to do everything for them. This includes simple tasks like preparing their own meals.

Longjumping-Tie-2964 −  My ex-husband used to go to the butcher and buy one filet in my favorite marinade and cook it. I would come home and think we were having steak but he only got one steak for himself. LOL! It was not funny then and it’s really not now because it was such covert BS. He would not admit to doing this on purpose.

He would deflect or act like this was normal or like he just didn’t think of getting me a steak too even though he made a special trip to a free standing butcher shop in the next county over that happened to by my favorite. Lesson: Even when you are legally bound to someone by marriage or blood — When they SHOW you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.

GolfInternational283 −  Info – what are his morning/evening chores that are keeping him so busy he can’t help clean or prep for morning. If he had made breakfast in the 10 minutes you cleaned or swapped then everyone would be happy, instead you’re expected to do both and more? If that’s accurate NTA

lovinglifeatmyage −  You know, making breakfast for both of you could be one of his jobs the evening before. It sounds like he doesn’t do much in the house and you’re burdened with most of everything. It’s about time you put your foot down, he needs to step up and help out more with everything else as well. NTAH

strawberrdies −  I feel like some men still think this is 1900 and kitchen work is women’s work. He’s an adult, he’s capable of making his own food without having his hand held. These are modern times, women are busy, and you already told him it’s his responsibility.

That’s really disrespectful that he chose to ignore what he didn’t want to hear and expected you’d still do it despite what you clearly said. He’s so determined not to make his own breakfast he went to work mad and hungry. Really unnecessary.

To add stress for you, whining about it, even more l**e. You’re doing the right thing. Partners are supposed to compromise and share the load. Not d**p everything on one person.

Effective-Hour8642 −  Are his arms broken? Has he lost his thumbs? Can he make a PB&J (your countries equivalent)? A bagel with something?
He’s a grown man and take care of his own damn breakfast. You stay strong. Baby steps. Nest, he might help with the dishes!. Best wishes!

Fierywitchburn333 −  NTA. He’s a grown ass man. As you said, he needs to step up and take care of himself and he won’t if you cave and do things for him. Best wishes on your husband beciming the kind of partner you deserve.

Was she right to set this boundary, or could she have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!