AITAH for telling my fiancée and her daughter they are responsible for meals from now on?

A 40-year-old man, who has been responsible for meal planning for his fiancée and her 13-year-old daughter, has become frustrated with their constant rejections of his meal suggestions.

After a grocery shopping incident where they criticized something he wanted to buy, he announced that they would now be responsible for their meals, stepping back completely and cooking only for himself if needed. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for telling my fiancée and her daughter they are responsible for meals from now on?’

I (40m) live with my fiancée (39f) and her daughter (13f). Up until now, I’ve always been the one “responsible” for deciding what we eat. Of course, I’ve always considered their wishes and essentially cooked whatever they wanted.

But more and more, when I suggest something, all I hear is “no, I don’t like that, no, not that, that’s not good,” and variations of “I want something else.” Tonight, I practically had to beg just to make some simple pasta with homemade tomato sauce.

Anyway, we were out grocery shopping today, and I saw something I haven’t had in over a year. I was excited and wanted to buy it. My fiancée made a face, and my stepdaughter said it looked like diarrhea. I was really hurt and still feel upset about it.

At dinner, I told them that from now on, they’ll need to figure out the meals themselves and that I’m stepping away completely. If need be, I’ll just cook for myself.. AITAH?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

GenxBaby2 −  NTA Insulting the chef pretty much guarantees the insulter will need to learn to cook.  Hard lesson but one they needed to learn.

Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss −  Your home is not a restaurant. If you are “responsible” for deciding what you eat as a family, then cook the dishes you want to make and put the meals on the table. If they don’t like it, they can go hungry. Two days of this, and they’ll be a lot more amenable to voicing their opinions and compromising on meal choices.. Time for some tough love, OP. NTA

Content-Plenty-268 −  NTA. Do you really want to live for the rest of your life with people who yuck your yum and your cooking? This can’t be the only thing they are n**ty to you about.

Late-Finding-544 −  We have five people in our house. Each person takes one night per week to cook. The other two nights we either get takeout or eat leftovers. The rule is: if you don’t like what is cooked, you fend for yourself. Full stop. No complaining, just get yourself a frozen dinner, get yourself takeout, or get yourself a sandwich.

We talk at the beginning of the week about what everyone is going to cook. We are respectful of everyone’s food preferences and allergies. But if someone wants to cook something that someone else isn’t going to like, that’s on the person who doesn’t like it to find something different, not the cook.

RaineMist −  NTA. They’re expecting you to cook but don’t want to help out with anything related. They can figure it out for themselves if they can’t decide.

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – The rule is once someone complains they become the cook

1962Michael −  NTA. You’re not a restaurant or a short-order cook. If they aren’t cooking, then their options are “eat” and “don’t eat.” I will say that we used to have this issue more. It’s very hard for people to agree on dinner at dinner time, so we try to plan the meals for the week on Sunday, and then shop accordingly.

It’s actually easier for 3 people to agree on 7 dinners than one. But F13 is old enough to cook one meal a week. She and her mom both need to cook occasionally, both to appreciate your efforts and to see what it’s like when other people don’t want to eat what you planned.

StAlvis −  INFO. I saw something I haven’t had in over a year. I was excited and wanted to buy it. My fiancée made a face, and my stepdaughter said it looked like diarrhea.. And what was it?

I told them that from now on, they’ll need to figure out the meals themselves and that I’m stepping away completely. If need be, I’ll just cook for myself. How is there no room for meeting in the middle here? Alternating both preparation and meal selection?

BlindUmpBob −  NTA. I had a similar experience with my then (now ex) wife and daughters regarding laundry. Laundry was always my chores, and with 3 girls in the house, it had to be done at least every couple days. I never liked it piling up into 5- 6 loads. They all made fun of my “laundry fetish.” So I decided a strike was in order.

I did my own clothes only. About 10 days in they were running out of clothes. I was doing a load, and one daughter asked if there was room for her sweater. I said there was, but when she raised the lid, I stopped her and reminded her that I was not going to force my “laundry fetish” on them.

It wasn’t too many days before I their tune changed and both daughters apologized. But I told them since 3 insulted me, 3 apologies were needed. It took a few more days, as my then wife was stubborn. Eventually the daughters wore her down. I never heard another word about laundry.

Spiritual_Cry3316 −  NTA. An engagement period is to allow the engaged people to learn more about each other, to be absolutely certain they are compatible. The behavior your mentioned is a big red flag in my book. Pay attention OP, your wants and needs matter too.

It’s important to communicate and set boundaries in a household, especially regarding shared responsibilities. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!