AITA for letting my son “manscape” when my wife doesn’t want him to?

A father of three boys (17, 16, and 14) shares a story about buying his youngest son, Tanner, a beard trimmer for “manscaping” after Tanner expressed interest. While the father sees no harm in it, his wife disapproves, arguing Tanner is not old enough and doesn’t need it yet.

The father believes that if Tanner wants to tidy up, it’s his choice, and insists on maintaining bathroom cleanliness. The tension arises from the differing views on whether Tanner should be allowed to groom himself. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for letting my son “manscape” when my wife doesn’t want him to?’

My wife and I have three boys, 17, 16, and 14. May the lord have mercy on my soul. Actually they are good guys. I was at Target with my youngest, Tanner. We split for a while and he shows back up asking if he could buy something with his own money. It was a beard trimmer. I laughed and told him he didn’t need that yet.

He explained nope, not for his face, he wanted it for downstairs.  His older brothers both manscape and he wanted to as well. But they wouldn’t loan their trimmers.
I told him sure, I’d even buy it for him. Got home and wife was not impressed. She didn’t want him to have it. One excuse after the other. ***He’s not old enough.*** Sure he is.

***He didn’t need it yet.*** Ok true he’s not exactly taming a jungle, more like a small hedge, but if he wants to neaten things up that’s fine by me. ***I don’t want more hair all over their bathroom.*** Non-issue. The boys keep their bathroom clean.

While me, Tanner, and the oldest Liam are pretty smooth, middle boy Lucas somehow got the gorilla gene (he was Sasquatch at 14). If he’s not causing a problem, no one will. I told him he could keep the trimmer but wife seems pursed.

I did remind him to keep the bathroom free of little hairs… get brothers to help/advise if needed, or me… and don’t make the mistake of going all Kojak below the belt, Liam made that mistake a couple of years ago. With much itching. So AITA for disregarding my wife’s opinion?. 

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

extinct_diplodocus −  NTA. Your son wants to do it, and it’s harmless; it’s just hair. It would be nice if your wife would come clean with the actual reason she’s opposed. Does she regularly inspect that area and wants it looking natural? If not, all of her stated reason are specious.

insignificantlittle −  Does he have pubes? Then he can decide for himself if he wants to trim. I don’t even know why this would be an issue. NTA

Both-Lettuce-1576 −  Totally Not The A**hole. So your son wants to be well groomed. What’s wrong with that? If both of his brothers do it, then your wife shouldn’t have a problem with it. Plus, he offered to buy with his own money. You’re just being a good father buying it for him.

louisa1925 −  NTA. I was 11yro and was shaving downstairs without guidance. I was in early puberty and the hairs were embarrassing. I made mistakes along the way with no one to ask for assistance. Thank you for supporting your child.

lihzee −  NTA. I don’t know why your wife has such strong feelings about her child’s pubic hair, honestly.

Nearly_Pointless −  NTA. That was a huge moment of trust in you as a parent. Don’t make this something that closes him down tomorrow.

OnionTruck −  NTA – dude is way ahead of his peers.

AsparagusWTweak −  NTA. Best he has his own trimmer for this, so he’s not borrowing someone else’s trimmer or razor behind their back, which wouldn’t be hygienic. 

LawyerDad1981 −  …don’t make the mistake of going all Kojak below the belt…That was the best advice of all. My son and his boneheaded friends tried that when they were about 17 or so. I told him he looked like the world’s most-hung six-year-old. And he itched for a month. Lesson learned.

Hufflepuffknitter80 −  NTA. I’d ask your wife bluntly why she thinks she gets any say in what someone else does with their body hair. And for good measure, you could tell her if that’s her opinion that you think she should get a Brazilian wax because you think she should have one (or whatever is basically the opposite of what she personally wants to do with her body hair).

She’s being totally inappropriate in thinking she has any say in this whatsoever. You’re being a great and supportive parent, so kudos to you!

Parenting decisions often lead to disagreements, especially regarding growing independence. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!