AITA for “not following through” on the rent to own agreement I had with my brother?

A Reddit user shares a tense situation involving a rent-to-own agreement with their brother, who struggled to maintain payments and take care of the property.

Despite giving him 18 months to improve his financial situation, the brother’s lack of responsibility led the Redditor and their spouse to revoke the agreement, causing tension within the family. Now, the Redditor wonders if they should have given their brother more time.

‘ AITA for “not following through” on the rent to own agreement I had with my brother?’

My (F33) brother (M39) is an outgoing, likable guy. But, sticking to things (whether it’s a job or a relationship) long-term isn’t his thing.
Last spring, my husband and I purchased acreage where we wanted to build our new home.

The question came up as to what we would do with our current home. We decided to rent instead of immediately sell. My brother and his new, third wife made the pitch to move in and “rent to own.” The conversation started over dinner with my parents and, admittedly, we let my parents’ advocacy for my brother sway our decision. They realized this was the only chance my brother had to own something so they pushed.

At the time, my brother had a full-time job at a phone carrier and had also been given an AMAZING deal by his old boss to purchase the DJ company he worked nights for – the guy was moving, offered to sell the business for just the cost of the equipment financed out of his own pocket.

Bro’s cell phone job had benefits, and the DJ company was a multimillion dollar business, so my husband and I made the mistake of hoping that this time my brother would take advantage of his perfect storm of opportunity.

We agreed to let him rent the house for the cost of our current mortgage (easily a thousand less per month than we could rent it for) and give him 18 months to build up his business and credit and purchase from us then.

We agreed to take the total of his “rent” as his down payment. We agreed any improvements/maintenance would come out of his budget, just as if he already owned the house, but we would give him credit toward the purchase price for anything he put into the place.

Starting at the second month he lived there, rent was late. Then he decided to scrap his full-time job because the DJ company made enough money – problem is, he quit paying his former boss the monthly payments, didn’t bother following up on existing accounts or generating new accounts, just showed up to the already booked gigs like he did when he was just an employee.

A bunch of the equipment got “stolen” and he couldn’t replace it because he canceled the insurance to save money.Bro and his wife did nothing to maintain the house, we were constantly getting calls to handle lawn care, tiny stuff broken, complaints that we took the mower and snow blower with us, on and on.

His response to repeated requests for rent payment was to say we could just add it to what he would buy the house for later. It’s been 18 months and bro has less income, worse credit, and has treated our house like crap. We told him we’re just going to forget about the missed payments, but he needs to move out and the purchase of the house is off the table.

He’s pissed that we “went back on our deal,” and my family is mad (although I suspect it’s just because they’re seeing his last opportunity for stability go down the drain). This has caused a major rift in the family so AITA for not giving this longer?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Easton_HJE −  NTA. Did you have any contract in writing with your agreement? He went back on his part so you have the right to take the deal off the table IMO. If you allow him to stay he may destroy your house further. It would be best to get him out of there and sell it.

Tdluxon −  NTA. You gave him a great opportunity and he totally blew it, that’s on him. Just be thankful you made the decision now before things got even worse, if you did sell him the house it would only be a matter of time before he stopped paying you.

One option would be to tell him that he can still buy the house but because he has missed numerous payments you can’t finance it for him or credit the rent as his down payment, he needs to get a home loan from a traditional lender. If your family is mad then they can loan him the money or help him get a loan by co-signing.

CandylandCanada −  NTA. Family needs to b**t out because their money isn’t on the line. You didn’t renege on the deal; he failed to meet its terms.
You are making the right decision for your family, and, if brother had some perspective, for him (and his THIRD wife), too.
Get him out, resolve not to let family interfere ever again in your finances, fix it up and rent it at a profit.

Appropriate_Fee1987 −  NTA at all. Wow, your brother really dropped the ball on this one. He really did have the perfect storm of opportunity as you put it.

JeepersCreepers74 −  You didn’t go back on your deal, he did! He didn’t do a single thing he promised. He breached the agreement and, under the laws of most jurisdictions, you no longer have an obligation to perform your end of it. Maybe his fourth wife will talk some sense into him. NTA.

LouisV25 −  NTA. No good deed goes unpunished. You don’t have to subsidize your brother and 3rd wife’s life. Your family needs to realize that you now have a husband this impacts. Ignore the noise and sell the house. They did not treat it as a business deal and neither should you.

Stranger0nReddit −  NTA. The agreement included him paying rent. He has been unable to do so, so going back on the deal is a problem of his own creation.

TheNamelessSlave −  NTA – Get a lawyer, evict him legally. The end.

Loquacious555 −  NTA. Your brother has taken advantage of your deal and didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. You’re completely within your rights to cancel the deal. Upset family can eff off, it’s not their money he’s f**king up.

Pesec1 −  NTA. You are not reneging on the agreement. If he comes up with the money to buy the house (including down payment to the bank), you would still sell to him. Your family can give him the money and cosign on his mortgage.