AITA for telling my cousin that she can’t always get what she wants?

A Redditor shares a family conflict involving her teenage cousin, who has an obsession with collectible Stanley cups. When the Redditor receives a limited-edition cup as a gift from her aunt, her cousin reacts with anger, feeling entitled to it despite owning many already.

The confrontation sparks tension, leaving the Redditor wondering if she should have kept quiet or was right to stand her ground.

‘ AITA for telling my cousin that she can’t always get what she wants?’

I’m a 21 F who lives alone in a big city I moved to recently. my aunt, uncles and 4 cousins (their kids) live in the same city as me and we would regularly do brunch or spend time going to parks or walks when I don’t have to work.

One of my cousins let’s call her Prim who’s 14 is obsessed with Stanley cups. I don’t see the rave about them but my cousin can’t live without hers. She has 12 of them with their accessories and she always rave about how awesome it feels to own one. My uncle would usually get her the cups if she does good in school.

The issue that I’m having with my cousin is that the recent themed cups I believe it’s the Glinda the good witch cups came out and everyone was going bat s**t crazy trying to get them including my cousin.

My aunt called me over to her home last week because she has a surprise for me, when I went she handed me the recent edition cup and told me that since I don’t have one she got me one.

Prim was sitting next to me on the couch and I saw her facial expressions riddled with shock and disbelief. She asked her mom why would she get me one and not her and my aunt said that she has so many she doesn’t need any more because she’s tired of cleaning them all for her.

My cousin snatched, yes Prim snatched the cup out of my hands and told me that I wouldn’t appreciate the value of the cup so she’d take it and my uncle took it from her and told her that he was planning on getting her one the following week but she wouldn’t be getting it anymore because she took mine like a b**ly.

Prim got all huffy and puffy at me and said that me moving here ruined her life and that the cup I got should be hers. I told her that in life we don’t always get what we want and feel e**itled to someone else’s stuff and she needs to learn to not be so e**itled.

My uncle agreed but my aunt said that I should’ve just let it go because now she’s going to be behaving like a b**t at them. I told her that she’s the parent and she shouldn’t be afraid of a 14 year old.

After I left with the cup I just have in sitting on my counter top because this damn cup is causing a rift in family ties and I feel like TA for it. Should I have just stayed quiet?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

gordonf23 −  …But if she tries sometimes, she just might find she’ll get what she needs. NTA. And she’s clearly already a b**t, because your aunt and uncle raised her that way. You have nothing to feel guilty about here.

Anxious_Session_4216 −  NTA. Sometimes teenagers need a reality check. Plus, you didn’t create the problem, Prim did when she acted e**itled. Honestly, it’s probably a good lesson for her that she can’t just grab what she wants without consequences

ReviewOk929 −  because now she’s going to be behaving like a b**t at them. I mean she already has so that ship had sailed…You did not make anything worse by saying what you said. NTA

HugeInTheShire −  NTA. But I was super disappointed this post wasn’t about Hockey.

Aggravating-Item9162 −  So very hard NTA. She’s behaving like a b**t because her parents let her act like that. They’re almost encouraging it at this point, it sounds.

Sad-Athlete-9313 −  This one’s an easy call. NTA. The fact that a 14 year old girl had the audacity to snatch a cup out of your hands in front of her parents says it all. She’s spoiled and being a b**ly. She needs to hear exactly what you said to her because it’s the truth.

Hopefully her parents will be able to rein in her behavior before she gets any worse, but I wouldn’t spend another second worrying about being the a*hole in this scenario. Enjoy your cup!

rockology_adam −  NTA. Prim is clearly and completely the A-hole here, no question, but let\`s talk about Aunt. If Aunt is really worried about Prim\`s response to you having the cup, she should have given it to you privately.

Uncle is right agreeing with you, and it\`s complete entitlement (and the fault of the parents) that Prim has behaved this way. If Aunt says you were out of line, it\`s because she\`s embarassed of her spawn (rightly so).

There\`s an even better argument to make here though, and that is that you, as an adult relative, are not out of line telling a youngling off for bad behaviour. You didn\`t beat them or threaten them or tell their parents off. You told a young e**itled person the truth, and that\`s also referred to as teaching.

quoole −  NTA – but this is the most 14 year old thing I have ever read. She’s into them, because they’re big on TikTok and all of her friends are into them too. Having the most recent is absolutely crucial to her. 

What she needs to know is exactly what you said. Not everything is always about her and her behaviour is on her and her parent’s parenting, not on you.
14 year olds need boundaries to learn how to live life. 

Kaynico −  NTA. Better for Prim to learn not to be a b**ly now than to have someone go full revenge on her in college.. Pretty straightforward:
1. Don’t take what doesn’t belong to you. 2. Don’t act e**itled. 3. Don’t be a b**t

Scenarioing −  “my aunt said that I should’ve just let it go because now she’s going to be behaving like a b**t”

—You are NTA obviously. Your aunt is the AH here even more than your cousin. That’s because she is obviously the one that taught your cousin to behave this way.

As illustrated by going all Neville Chamberlin and appeasing the cousin who learns that she can get her way by being bratty. Don’t cave in and do that yourself. Look up Neville Chamberlin if you don’t know the historical reference.

Do you think the user was right to address her cousin’s entitlement, or should she have let the situation slide for the sake of family harmony? How would you handle a family conflict over something like this? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!