AITA for not firing the babysitter for driving the kids without car seats?

A Reddit user is facing tension with her ex-husband after an incident where her babysitter, Emma, had to drive their kids without car seats during an emergency evacuation due to a gas leak.

Emma had never driven the kids before, and the user hadn’t provided car seats because the babysitter didn’t need to drive. Emma quickly bought car seats and drove the kids safely to the user’s work, but the kids later told their father about the situation.

The ex-husband is furious that the user didn’t fire Emma, and he’s now threatening to seek full custody, questioning their ability to care for the children. The user is now wondering if she was wrong for not firing Emma. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for not firing the babysitter for driving the kids without car seats?’

My ex and I have 3 kids, 4, 3, and 1. I have a regular babysitter, Emma, to watch the kids 3 days a week from 6:30pm-7:30am. She gets the kids ready for bed after dinner, gets them in bed, gets them up and dressed in the mornings, and gets them breakfast. Emma never has to drive the kids so we never got her car seats.

Last week there was a gas leak. The police and fire department were banging on the doors telling everyone to evacuate. Emma called me but I don’t have my phone on me at work. She called my work but the front desk isn’t the best at picking up the phone at night.

At that point she grabbed the kids and took them to Walmart, 5 miles away, and bought car seats, diapers, a change of clothes for everyone, and some other essentials (I reimbursed her). She installed the car seats and brought the kids to my work.

I was able to take a few minutes to find somewhere for her to take the kids for the night and the rest of the night went smoothly. The kids went to their dad’s house a couple days after and told him they got to ride in Emma’s car without car seats.

My ex called to ask about it and I explained that there was a gas leak, they were under mandatory evacuation, and she got them car seats as soon as possible.

He asked why she didn’t have car seats and I told him that in the 8 months that she has been working for me, she never had to drive them before this and I can’t afford to spend $700 on car seats that are going to live in the garage.

He asked what I did to Emma about her driving them without car seats and I told him I didn’t do anything since she didn’t have another choice. He’s mad that I didn’t fire her and wants to try to get full custody because he doesn’t trust me or her to take care of the kids anymore (he’s a weekend dad). AITA for not firing her because she drove the kids without car seats?

Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:

corgihuntress −  He’s wrong. Emma was incredibly responsible and did exactly what she needed to do. Even if you had carseats in the garage, there’s no saying she could have got them. It was an instant and mandatory evacuation. So unless she already had them in her car, it wouldn’t have mattered. She deserves gratitude and appreciation. Your ex is so very very wrong. NTA.

HowlPen −  NTA. Out of curiosity, I just googled “is it legal to drive kids without a car seat in an emergency,” and my state has a provision for this. Try searching this for your state. If there is a legal provision, it may deflate your ex a bit if you let him know your babysitter was following the law. 

sleepy965 −  NTA. Emma made the best decision given the circumstances. You and your ex need to talk about the car seat situation. I’m a stickler for car seats, we had a very expensive one sitting in the garage for that exact reason.

But 1. you should buy a cheap car seat to use in a pinch and 2. if he cares that much he should be paying for at least half of it. Your ex is misdirecting his anger at the wrong person. The fault is with you and him.

OutrageousMistake515 −  As a therapist let me tell you when I say the judge will laugh in his face over his complaint and demand for custody over this lol

Acceptable-Soup5156 −  He’s right, you should do something about Emma’s handling of the situation! Maybe like a $50 Starbucks gift card if she likes coffee or or like a visa gift card so she can buy something else.. any kind of sweet thank you for staying calm and protecting your babies. Emma is a hero.. ex-husband is the AH

TemptingPenguin369 −  NTA. She followed the police and fire departments’ instructions to evacuate immediately, and she drove them straight to a store to buy car seats. This could have been a life-or-d**th situation and thankfully she was able to get them to safety.

ncslazar7 −  NTA. It sounds like you have an incredibly competent babysitter. Frankly you should have had the car seats in case of emergency, but I don’t blame you as it is not a small expense for a “what if” scenario.

Overall, your husband can be upset all he wants, but everybody reacted reasonably, and no court would adjust your custody based on your husband’s irrational ravings.

FigForsaken5419 −  NTA. The police knocked on your door to order the evacuation. That means Emma likely had an officer see her load your children in the car or drive off with them, not in car seats. Was the situation ideal? Obviously not. But you’ve found that out now.

keetots −  NTA. And Emma deserves a raise!! She kept 3 kids under 5yo calm during an emergency evacuation, made a responsible decision of driving to Walmart to get basic necessities, including car seats, and did it all with her own money too (at first). Bravo Emma! I hope there’s more responsible, resourceful women like you in the world.

Perimentalpause −  NTA. Emma did what was needed to be done in the situation, and she even rectified it mid-emergency by driving to a place to get car seats and supplies before coming to find you.

If she’d never driven them anywhere before, there is zero reason to assume she should keep her car ’emergency transport ready’ for kids that aren’t hers.Your ex is just reacting and being salty in a way that any reasonable court would laugh at him if he tried to do anything about it. “The woman didn’t have car seats, sir.

What exactly did you expect her to do? Carry all of them on her? Drive to the store leaving them there to purchase car seats in an emergency situation and then drive back? Emergencies happen.

This was handled as best as it could have been, given all the specifics involved.” Frankly, I’m a little more concerned that in the middle of an emergency, she couldn’t get immediate hold of you. Not through your phone and not through your work.

That pointed out a really big problem that ended with a much better result than if information had been needed, like medical info or permission for legal purposes. I’d look into your work in regards to fixing that. “My home was in a gas leak and no one could get ahold of me. This is a problem.”

Do you think the user was wrong for not firing the babysitter, given the emergency situation? Should Emma have been held accountable for driving the kids without car seats, or did the circumstances justify her actions? How would you have handled this if you were in the user’s position? Share your thoughts below!