AITA for announcing my preganacy at my sister’s wedding?

A Reddit user, a 32-year-old woman, is facing tension with her sister after announcing her pregnancy at her wedding. The user and her sister, who is 28, have always been close. The user initially agreed to hold off on telling their parents about the pregnancy until the sister’s wedding, as it was meant to be a special moment.

However, when the sister changed her mind last minute during the wedding, the user decided to go ahead with the announcement privately to her parents. This caused a rift, and the sister now refuses to speak to her or visit her newborn.

The user is questioning if she was wrong for going ahead with the announcement. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for announcing my preganacy at my sister’s wedding?’

I’m 32, my sister is 28, and we’ve always been incredibly close. Point in case, she was the first person I told that I was pregnant, besides my husband of course. I told her essentially a week after I got a positive pregnancy test, which was about 3 months before her wedding.

I told her that I was going to tell our parents and my husband’s parents around the 10 week mark, but she told me that I should hold off until her wedding in September. I’d be like 4 months along at that point, so I wouldn’t be showing really, and she thought it would be so special for her to be able to make an announcement about a “special guest” at her wedding and it be her first niece or nephew, and my parents first grandbaby.

I agreed, because it seemed like it meant a lot to her and, again, we were super close and I was happy to do that for her! Turns out, the first trimester was awful with morning sickness and exhaustion – I would have preferred to be able to talk about it with my mom, but I was willing to grin and bear it for my sister’s wedding.

Well, the wedding came along, and about halfway through the night, I asked her when the announcement was happening. She told me that she had changed her mind and that her wedding didn’t seem like a good time or place to announce my pregnancy.

I was obviously super upset since I went through a really awful first trimester with only my sister and husband to lean on. I decided I wasn’t going to put the announcement on hold any longer just for her, so my husband and I pulled my parents aside and quietly told them, and told them to keep it private for the evening.

They were thrilled, lots of hugs, a few tears, but a very touching and private moment. Literally no one else found out until I announced it on Facebook a week later.

My sister found out around the same time as my Facebook post when my dad mentioned how we told him about it, and she texted me and called me a b**ch who made her wedding about myself, and she hasn’t spoken to me since.

I’ve messaged her and apologized probably a dozen times since then, but she refuses to talk to me, and now she refuses to come see her little nephew who is almost a month old at this point.

My parents and partner think I did nothing wrong since she went back on her word, and that I should just wait it out and she’ll come around. I’m obviously unsure as clearly this has made her so upset with me, and we were so close before. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

CemeteryDweller7719 −  NTA. I was all set to say you don’t announce that at a wedding thinking you grabbed a mic and told the whole wedding. You didn’t. You told your parents. Just them. And it clearly didn’t create a fuss at the wedding because your sister didn’t even know until a week later when your parents told her.

You know what happened here, right? Your sister didn’t want you to steal any of her wedding thunder leading up to the wedding. She saw this as her time and the focus was supposed to be on her upcoming life event, not yours.

That’s why she told you not to tell anyone at all and then she’d announce it at the wedding. I don’t think she ever planned to announce. It was just a way to keep you from telling anyone so she could be the center of attention for months.. Edit: thank you for the awards!
OP, I’m sorry about your sister but congrats on your little one!

unknownhag −  Man people really take the whole “wedding day is only about the bride” thing to a whole new level.
Only the grandparents found out about the pregnancy. It didn’t eclipse the wedding day at all.. NTA.

artorianscribe −  NTA because you told them discreetly after your sister played an obvious trick on you. Clearly, it didn’t even make an impact on the wedding because it took her being told it happened to even be aware of it.

I don’t think she ever intended to make that announcement. She just didn’t want attention taken away from her while she planned her wedding where she did a really n**ty rug pull. She essentially denied you of much needed support during a very touchy time so her special day remained front and center.

No_Bookkeeper_6183 −  I think your sister never intended to announce it at her wedding. She didn’t want it overshadowing her wedding if you announced it before she got married. NTA.

ughneedausername −  I was all set to say Y T A.. But NTA. You wanted to tell your parents. Your sister insisted on you waiting to make it a moment at her wedding. Then, last minute she changes her mind. So you tell your parents privately; you didn’t make a big announcement.

Now she’s mad and won’t talk to you? Stop apologizing; you did nothing wrong.. ETA: thanks for the award!!

HeadBonk −  NTA. She never had the intention of making an announcement she just didn’t want your pregnancy taking her spotlight before the wedding.

Zestyclose-Egg6211 −  NTA and the people saying otherwise don’t seem to be considering that she actually didn’t alert you to the change of plan. You had to ask when it was going to happen halfway through the reception and then she just tells you oh I changed my mind.

Extremely s**fish to not tell you that before. You literally waited a month and a half to two months so she could make the announcement at her wedding. Absolutely nothing wrong with pulling your parents aside after this has been the day in your mind that they would find out for a long time.

I don’t want this to be over the top, but it almost seems to me like she didn’t want people to know beforehand because people would be congratulating you so her announcing it at the wedding was a way to make sure nobody else knew beforehand and then telling you that she actually decided differently was a way to make sure nobody found out at the wedding either.

kayleitha77 −  NTA. You told your parents in private because your sister tricked you. Don’t bother apologizing any longer–she is and was an a**hole for hogging all the attention when you were having a rough first trimester.

She’s not letting you apologize because she’s got some serious main character syndrome tendencies, it seems. There was room for letting your parents know about the pregnancy before the wedding, but she **manipulated** you into staying quiet with her song and dance about “announcing it at the wedding.

” She’s jealous, and she wants you to grovel forever for not letting her take all the oxygen all the time. She effectively made *your* pregnancy about **her**, and it still is. She may have decided that you got pregnant “at” her because she was getting married, as if your life was on hold until the wedding.
Please stop expending energy on this. Accept that you’re NC with her, and remember that she tricked you into being without your mother at a critical time. INFO Did your parents know about her having you promise to wait for \*her\* to announce your pregnancy at the wedding?

Have they given any thoughts on that? How does your mom feel about you suffering without feeling like you could ask her for help?

Lucky_Ad_1115 −  NTA I personally think your sister deliberately done that so that you wouldn’t take any limelight away from her during and leading upto the wedding.

fatdongg −  a lot of people seem to be forgetting that you basically went through half of your pregnancy with no support from your parents because her wedding was more important. nta. she asked you to isolate yourself at a time when you should be getting the most support possible. and you literally only told your parents and no one else found out until weeks later. i can’t believe she’d want you to go through this with little to no support.

Do you think the user was wrong for announcing her pregnancy at her sister’s wedding, especially after the sister changed her mind last minute? Or was she justified in telling her family given how long she had waited? How would you have handled this delicate situation? Share your thoughts below!